09-26-2016, 01:59 PM
(09-26-2016, 01:16 PM)WIP68 Wrote: [quote='eternitys_child' pid='133990'
[Now, if the sub would just guide me to women who aren't in committed relationships, that'd be great.
Just because she's married doesn't mean she in a committed relationship. It doesn't mean she's committed. I think her actions show her 'heart' isn't in the relationship fully. She did what traditon required of her but then shows tremendous disrespect to her new husband by contacting an ex?
As for the sub guiding you to your ex...Maybe it wasn't for sex, but instead it was for you to put that part of your life behind you, for closure sort of speak, so you can move forward. The relationship is done, she's married,and still thinks positively about you. Your self esteem is in tact, and even boosted a little. Your mind is clearer and you're free to move forward.....
Oh, and as for the jaw pain you're experiencing...I have that also intermittently.
[/quote]
Good point about the healing aspect. I thought I had healed from this relationship long ago. But to be completely transparent to you guys and let you know the deep amount of healing I really do require, I will swallow my pride and tell you guys about the relationship.
We had a pregnancy scare in 2010 (Ya I busted a nut too quick
). One night I was in a drug induced blackout, and in the morning, she's walking funny and so I ask her what happened. She looked upset, and asked "you don't remember?" I said no. She then goes on to tell me that she asked me to punch her really hard in the gut, to ensure there is no baby in there. And then she says I did it. That shit f*** me up for a long time, and in fact was a major contribution to my 5 year dry spell until the fruits of SM3 showed itself on December 31, 2015. I couldn't believe that I would do something like that with my own hands. I couldn't believe that the woman I loved and was engaged to would ask me to do such a thing. And I couldn't believe that I actually complied. Of course that was neither the beginning nor the end of my drug use, and it eventually chased her away. Literally, she ran away and went to some other dudes house, which f*** me up even more. She ended up in a relationship with him, with literally zero time between the end of ours.
That's just one of the sexual traumas I have gone through, therr are a couplemore... WIP, you very well might be right in that this is an example of healing, to put this behind me. Interesting that the IOI's appear the same day I sent her the message? Wow.
And for what it's worth, sure she's not in a committed relationship, she's kind of forced into it. But she does have a history of running from relationships! She did it with this he guy she left me for, too! Lol. Who's to say this won't be different...
You know, while we're in the subject, I always wondered... I fit the bad boy criteria, quite well actually. EXCEPT in the criteria of bad boy sexuality. I always used to wonder why the F*** my associates were banging girls almost daily, but I couldn't get any action to save my life. My social skills were pretty good at the time, especially while actively using drugs.... I could spit game like a champ. But once any sort of intimacy showed up, I locked up, froze, went dead silent, and things just got really awkward. I lost countless opportunities like that. Shit I even had a naked pool experience with a friend who was a high end escort and another chick who sold pussy for money. Both showed DISTINCT signs of attraction to me, but nothing happened. Sexual Trauma is a bitch. And that's why I'm 100% on board with the healing in DMSI. There are probably more than a few guys on here who've been sexually molested as a kid, traumatized in some way by rape, screwed over by women, emotionally, financially, the works.... and none of this shit is stuff we men like to admit affects us, let alone tell another human being it even happened. The healing is MUCH NEEDED. At least I believe so.
