09-19-2016, 08:43 AM
Trying to stay more present with things lately. I notice I've been having this need to sleep or rest or lie down or whatever and thought I should listen to my body, but nope it's just another way of avoiding making changes in my life. It seems if I actively procrastinate and do stuff I actually enjoy I'll be able to pull myself back to more important tasks that need to be taken care of. Mostly because I know what needs to be done and I know the procrastination activities aren't good. But when my body sends me signals to get up, go lay down, get something to eat, etc. Anything to avoid the task at hand, it's easier to give into it because it seems like an actual need.
Still working on my music. It's been going kind of poorly. I'll have a tendency to want to finish a track as fast as possible because the longer I spend on it the more I lose my enjoyment. But at the same time I hate how I feel like my music isn't complex enough. I'll either end up doing one of two things. Keep editing it to the point where I lose my original idea and ultimately lose that creative vibe that got me started writing the piece. Or I'll keep adding stuff for the sake of making it more complex and none of it is necessary. I just never know when to let it go because every piece of music I make never feels finished. But at the same time if I spend all this extra time attempting to finish it, it's a tremendous waste of time because it never goes anywhere. It's like I don't know what's actually missing to consider the track finished. I'm pretty sure this is just my skill gap and the only way I'll get past it is to keep working on it.
I've gone from "wow look how much better I've gotten" to "I haven't gotten better at all and I'm still struggling with the same stuff I always do". Kind of mirrors my experience with other stuff in my life too. Nothing to do really but keep moving forward and to stop dwelling on it. Still nothing stings quite like thinking you've gotten a lot better and the same issues still slap you in the face.
Also I've had a headache these past few days. It's either E2 and resistance or it's the barometric pressure. The days before a bunch of rain I tend to get slightly more agitated and develop a mild headache which can turn into a full blown migraine if I don't watch my stress levels.
Still working on my music. It's been going kind of poorly. I'll have a tendency to want to finish a track as fast as possible because the longer I spend on it the more I lose my enjoyment. But at the same time I hate how I feel like my music isn't complex enough. I'll either end up doing one of two things. Keep editing it to the point where I lose my original idea and ultimately lose that creative vibe that got me started writing the piece. Or I'll keep adding stuff for the sake of making it more complex and none of it is necessary. I just never know when to let it go because every piece of music I make never feels finished. But at the same time if I spend all this extra time attempting to finish it, it's a tremendous waste of time because it never goes anywhere. It's like I don't know what's actually missing to consider the track finished. I'm pretty sure this is just my skill gap and the only way I'll get past it is to keep working on it.
I've gone from "wow look how much better I've gotten" to "I haven't gotten better at all and I'm still struggling with the same stuff I always do". Kind of mirrors my experience with other stuff in my life too. Nothing to do really but keep moving forward and to stop dwelling on it. Still nothing stings quite like thinking you've gotten a lot better and the same issues still slap you in the face.
Also I've had a headache these past few days. It's either E2 and resistance or it's the barometric pressure. The days before a bunch of rain I tend to get slightly more agitated and develop a mild headache which can turn into a full blown migraine if I don't watch my stress levels.
