I was never big on the night scene because I wasn't attractive, confident, or popular in the past. A lot has changed, but honestly it's a scary thing in my mind. One thing I really need to work on is that I don't dance. Dancing has always been this awkward, embarrassing thing that I've avoided like the plague. I'm very self-conscious about it. I have no rhythm and 'feeling' my movement through music is completely unnatural to me. But I do recognize the value of dancing. It's a physical relationship that is socially acceptable, that can be highly sexual, and actually lead to sex. Physical relationships are so much more powerful than words.
Beyond that it's the highly superficial environment that actually scares me the most. That and the social exclusivity. These are two food chains I've never been on top of. They intimidate me, and my clubbing experiences have largely been me keeping to myself, following my friends like a lost puppy, and wanting to go home. Again, that was a few years ago. I'm easily intimidated by guys and especially girls who give off the impression of being popular and experienced socially/sexually. It's difficult and stressful to place myself on the radar of these women (in contention with these guys) in an environment where I feel like I'm being swallowed. I do see the merit in night life. You can strike out but you can win big. The girls are more likely to be DTF.
The hardest part about this whole journey is that very few people can relate to reinventing themselves like I've been doing for the past couple of years. My past is boring and unsexed. I don't have good stories. I hung out with beta losers. Now I'm attracting girls in their late teens and 20s who are gaining the life experience that I feel like I'm in a losing race to recover.
I didn't realize what you wrote would prompt such a lengthy response out of me Sicko.
Beyond that it's the highly superficial environment that actually scares me the most. That and the social exclusivity. These are two food chains I've never been on top of. They intimidate me, and my clubbing experiences have largely been me keeping to myself, following my friends like a lost puppy, and wanting to go home. Again, that was a few years ago. I'm easily intimidated by guys and especially girls who give off the impression of being popular and experienced socially/sexually. It's difficult and stressful to place myself on the radar of these women (in contention with these guys) in an environment where I feel like I'm being swallowed. I do see the merit in night life. You can strike out but you can win big. The girls are more likely to be DTF.
The hardest part about this whole journey is that very few people can relate to reinventing themselves like I've been doing for the past couple of years. My past is boring and unsexed. I don't have good stories. I hung out with beta losers. Now I'm attracting girls in their late teens and 20s who are gaining the life experience that I feel like I'm in a losing race to recover.
I didn't realize what you wrote would prompt such a lengthy response out of me Sicko.
Under heaven all can see beauty as beauty only because there is ugliness.
All can know good as good only because there is evil.
All can know good as good only because there is evil.
