08-19-2016, 06:13 AM
Alright confession time. I've been screwing up these past few days.
After reading this http://personalitycafe.com/type-9-forum-...-hole.html
I've realized how badly I've been messing things up in my life. I recently got sucked into LOA writings again. And oh man do they appeal to the side of me that desires shortcuts and the avoidance of stress. If you take a concept too far and base your entire frame of reality around it things get messed up very fast. For those that don't know I'm an INFP. My primary cognitive function is Fi. Introverted feeling. For anyone that doesn't know what that is, introverted feeling is making decisions and judgements based on morals or values. Essentially what feels right. This is one of my weakest points in my personality. When something feels right there's an automatic assumption it is right. Enneagram 9s favor peace and harmony, that's one of my values. But I'll twist and distort my own views and life to attain this fake harmony. I'll go so far to not rock the boat so to speak, if my outer world isn't harmonious I'll retreat inside of myself. And if it's really bad out there, I go deep into a state of almost disillusionment with what is actually going on in my world.
The bottom line is I have this tendency to believe everything will work itself out and I just pull away from the reality of what's going on. I've come to realize when I'm falling into one of these states. I'll feel good and like everything is working out for me, then something comes along that challenges my perfect serene reality I've created in my head. My car breaks down and I realize I don't have enough money to fix it, I'm 25 and still not in a full time job, I've been procrastinating on things I should be doing like learning more about coding, etc. When this happens my knee jerk reaction has always been to run back to that peaceful state and avoid the painful emotions that come along with these realizations instead of seeking a solution.
My life is in shambles right now, but I'm starting to be ok with that because I know there is a solution. I just have to stay with it and not retreat inside my head where everything is fine. Sometimes it's really painful to take a good hard objective look at yourself, but it also gives you a really good idea of what you need to improve on.
After reading this http://personalitycafe.com/type-9-forum-...-hole.html
I've realized how badly I've been messing things up in my life. I recently got sucked into LOA writings again. And oh man do they appeal to the side of me that desires shortcuts and the avoidance of stress. If you take a concept too far and base your entire frame of reality around it things get messed up very fast. For those that don't know I'm an INFP. My primary cognitive function is Fi. Introverted feeling. For anyone that doesn't know what that is, introverted feeling is making decisions and judgements based on morals or values. Essentially what feels right. This is one of my weakest points in my personality. When something feels right there's an automatic assumption it is right. Enneagram 9s favor peace and harmony, that's one of my values. But I'll twist and distort my own views and life to attain this fake harmony. I'll go so far to not rock the boat so to speak, if my outer world isn't harmonious I'll retreat inside of myself. And if it's really bad out there, I go deep into a state of almost disillusionment with what is actually going on in my world.
The bottom line is I have this tendency to believe everything will work itself out and I just pull away from the reality of what's going on. I've come to realize when I'm falling into one of these states. I'll feel good and like everything is working out for me, then something comes along that challenges my perfect serene reality I've created in my head. My car breaks down and I realize I don't have enough money to fix it, I'm 25 and still not in a full time job, I've been procrastinating on things I should be doing like learning more about coding, etc. When this happens my knee jerk reaction has always been to run back to that peaceful state and avoid the painful emotions that come along with these realizations instead of seeking a solution.
My life is in shambles right now, but I'm starting to be ok with that because I know there is a solution. I just have to stay with it and not retreat inside my head where everything is fine. Sometimes it's really painful to take a good hard objective look at yourself, but it also gives you a really good idea of what you need to improve on.
