alpha 3

[ffaux]

I have this resistance to letting myself have what I want. It's like I want something but I'm afraid of what will happen if I let myself have what I want so I don't let myself have what I want. It's bizarre. I wonder if this form of resistance is something Shannon is addressing already: where you don't want what you want because you're afraid of what will happen if you have what you want. Where you want something but you're afraid of having it.

Edit: Also, I'm afraid of the change of having what I want. Having what I have is familiar. Having what I want is entirely unfamiliar.