08-18-2016, 07:48 AM
Alright so this ones on a more positive note, sort of. I've noticed since running E2 people are really friendly towards me. Even if I'm feeling like a miserable person that day. I'm not really used to it.
I feel an energy inside of me. When I really let go it grows in intensity. Part of me is curious to see just how much of an impact it has on people around me, but another part of me wants nothing to do with that. This is going to sound arrogant but I think after a lot of the self healing and inner work I've done people subconsciously gravitate towards my energy. I think I could have a much stronger effect, but I don't want the attention from people. And I think that's more of a fear thing I still need to work through. Especially with women, there's a very noticeable negative reaction when women give me attention. It's like I'm really open, they like it, I get some attention and I close up like a bear trap lol. I don't know it's weird, even before all the subs I always wanted attention from women, but didn't want it at the same time. Makes sense I never got anywhere, those are two very conflicting things. The few times I did have someone attracted to me I pretty much blew it because I did absolutely nothing.
I feel an energy inside of me. When I really let go it grows in intensity. Part of me is curious to see just how much of an impact it has on people around me, but another part of me wants nothing to do with that. This is going to sound arrogant but I think after a lot of the self healing and inner work I've done people subconsciously gravitate towards my energy. I think I could have a much stronger effect, but I don't want the attention from people. And I think that's more of a fear thing I still need to work through. Especially with women, there's a very noticeable negative reaction when women give me attention. It's like I'm really open, they like it, I get some attention and I close up like a bear trap lol. I don't know it's weird, even before all the subs I always wanted attention from women, but didn't want it at the same time. Makes sense I never got anywhere, those are two very conflicting things. The few times I did have someone attracted to me I pretty much blew it because I did absolutely nothing.
