08-08-2016, 09:20 AM
(This post was last modified: 08-08-2016, 09:20 AM by Jason Capital.)
Stage 5 8th day
I've become quieter than usual and it feels normal and natural.
Lately I have been analyzing my handwriting and found that I've been resisting the whole sub by not allowing my hand to free flow on the paper by repeating and consciously forcing myself to write in specific way to stick to the person I want to be and instead not allowing to let the sub do its work.
Yea, the sub gets deeper into the mind and brings out the issues that I thought has not been inside me but was always there and sub just surfaced it and by not accepting this new thing surfaced I have had resistance and now I am at peace to see and watch for myself how the programming expresses itself as it takes course of its action and I will let it happen.
Besides having crazy looks from the girls and ignoring them 97% of the time, I have not noticed anything special except feeling extreme pain on one side of my brain and did not know why that happened but it could have been due to the high volume.
Other than that, I have been so much conscious of my body language lately and I'm sitting mostly straight and this happens when I am in presence of the girls who are actively chasing me with their eye contact.
And I am very sick and maybe bronchitis it is and I had little blood in my cough and I freaked out a little but it doesn't seem of much concern and sometimes I wonder that overcoming some kind of resistance may also manifest some sickness in me. Just a thought I had.
I am also finding some heavy tension in my face in presence of girls and when they are looking at me and I cannot smile to them and my face kinda demonstrates some sadness and it may be apparent from eyes who knows how to read em but I am okay with this as it's a part of growth.
I've become quieter than usual and it feels normal and natural.
Lately I have been analyzing my handwriting and found that I've been resisting the whole sub by not allowing my hand to free flow on the paper by repeating and consciously forcing myself to write in specific way to stick to the person I want to be and instead not allowing to let the sub do its work.
Yea, the sub gets deeper into the mind and brings out the issues that I thought has not been inside me but was always there and sub just surfaced it and by not accepting this new thing surfaced I have had resistance and now I am at peace to see and watch for myself how the programming expresses itself as it takes course of its action and I will let it happen.
Besides having crazy looks from the girls and ignoring them 97% of the time, I have not noticed anything special except feeling extreme pain on one side of my brain and did not know why that happened but it could have been due to the high volume.
Other than that, I have been so much conscious of my body language lately and I'm sitting mostly straight and this happens when I am in presence of the girls who are actively chasing me with their eye contact.
And I am very sick and maybe bronchitis it is and I had little blood in my cough and I freaked out a little but it doesn't seem of much concern and sometimes I wonder that overcoming some kind of resistance may also manifest some sickness in me. Just a thought I had.
I am also finding some heavy tension in my face in presence of girls and when they are looking at me and I cannot smile to them and my face kinda demonstrates some sadness and it may be apparent from eyes who knows how to read em but I am okay with this as it's a part of growth.
