08-03-2016, 04:18 AM
EPRHA2 Day 34
It has been almost a month since my last report. Now I know what others have been talking about when they say during E2 reporting that "I don't feel like logging."
However, this may be a temporary thing, as I have slowly begun to catch up reading the forum after spending several weeks experiencing an "I can't be bothered with it" sort of malaise.
Effects of E2
For those who are familiar with Pixar, I feel like Wall-e on a giant trash pile... Within my head is a mountain of refuse. The negativity that accumulated over the course of a lifetime.
With each passing day, my subconscious is able to process and let go of a bit more debris. Slowly but surely, I am working my way through this pile of garbage.
Just as an archaeologist might, as I progress through this task, every now and then I find a more significant emotional artifact. When that happens, the emotions that I felt during that event are replayed in my memory. I find myself experiencing those feelings all over again. Sometimes, I even argue with the person who caused these feelings (though they are not present).
<aside>
If you experience something similar, I must caution you to have these "discussions" in private. People will think you need medication if they observe you carrying on a heated conversation with someone who is not there.
</aside>
Progress
I know I am making progress. Honestly though, the only way I can prove it (and then only prove it to me, not to you), is that whenever my subconscious processes an emotional artifact... I can usually identify the date stamp on the recording.
Just as an archaeologist finds relics from further back in time as he digs deeper, I recognize that I am progressing backward through my memories with each artifact I find.
The Outlook
I am cleaning out the landfill of emotional debris deposited in my subconscious over the past 48 years. This takes time. However, there is progress, ergo there will be an end.
At the current rate of progress, I anticipate 128 days being enough to do the job, placing my tentative end date at 05 Nov 2016.
My confidence in this estimate is a little over 50% right now, so it is subject to change. BUT... as I make progress I also expect that progress to go faster.
Why? Because the last 20 years were much more painful than the first 20 years.
It has been almost a month since my last report. Now I know what others have been talking about when they say during E2 reporting that "I don't feel like logging."
However, this may be a temporary thing, as I have slowly begun to catch up reading the forum after spending several weeks experiencing an "I can't be bothered with it" sort of malaise.
Effects of E2
For those who are familiar with Pixar, I feel like Wall-e on a giant trash pile... Within my head is a mountain of refuse. The negativity that accumulated over the course of a lifetime.
With each passing day, my subconscious is able to process and let go of a bit more debris. Slowly but surely, I am working my way through this pile of garbage.
Just as an archaeologist might, as I progress through this task, every now and then I find a more significant emotional artifact. When that happens, the emotions that I felt during that event are replayed in my memory. I find myself experiencing those feelings all over again. Sometimes, I even argue with the person who caused these feelings (though they are not present).
<aside>
If you experience something similar, I must caution you to have these "discussions" in private. People will think you need medication if they observe you carrying on a heated conversation with someone who is not there.
</aside>
Progress
I know I am making progress. Honestly though, the only way I can prove it (and then only prove it to me, not to you), is that whenever my subconscious processes an emotional artifact... I can usually identify the date stamp on the recording.
Just as an archaeologist finds relics from further back in time as he digs deeper, I recognize that I am progressing backward through my memories with each artifact I find.
The Outlook
I am cleaning out the landfill of emotional debris deposited in my subconscious over the past 48 years. This takes time. However, there is progress, ergo there will be an end.
At the current rate of progress, I anticipate 128 days being enough to do the job, placing my tentative end date at 05 Nov 2016.
My confidence in this estimate is a little over 50% right now, so it is subject to change. BUT... as I make progress I also expect that progress to go faster.
Why? Because the last 20 years were much more painful than the first 20 years.
Male, 48, ENTP, married, III%
Current: EPRHA 2.0
Completed: ASC (30 Jun 16)
Current: EPRHA 2.0
Completed: ASC (30 Jun 16)
