07-31-2016, 07:17 PM
I think the best way to grow sometimes is to really watch your actions and what your inner state is. Today I wanted to talk about appeasement behavior. So I find a lot of the time I'm dealing with anxiety it's based in fear and people's view of me. I'll preemptively be overly nice to kind of eliminate the chance of being rejected if I be myself. I hate it so much. It pretty much feels like I'm giving away my power to people and letting them decide if I have worth as a human being or not. I'm so drained from this. I'm naturally a quiet kept to myself kind of a person and all my life I've got never ending comments that point to the fact that's not ok. That's pretty much the reason why I'm so high strung around other people because I feel like I can't be myself, I pretty much have to act the part of someone else because my natural self isn't acceptable.
I just really want to shed this armor or whatever it is I have covering my real self to the outside world. I can't live like this anymore. I used to think I was so messed up and wrong for being the way I am. But now I see it's just because I grew up in a world where I wasn't understood and people shamed who I was.
I just really want to shed this armor or whatever it is I have covering my real self to the outside world. I can't live like this anymore. I used to think I was so messed up and wrong for being the way I am. But now I see it's just because I grew up in a world where I wasn't understood and people shamed who I was.
