07-27-2016, 09:10 PM
Hey man, thanks for posting in my journal. I haven't yet read through all of yours, but I read the first and last pages in this thread and just want to share my 2 cents:
So as far as growth and stuff goes, I don't know what your original situation was like, but mine was pretty shitty, and I've been on subs (including AM6.0 twice, 96+ days of EPRHA1, and now over 50 days of EPRHA2) for over 2 years at this point... they have helped me a lot and yet still I have so much to grow. I don't know how much sub listening you've been doing before this thread, so I apologize if this stuff feels out of turn:
I was really moved by the way you spoke about your dad. I don't know if the things that were said in the first post are still relevant, but I urge--no, implore you--PLEASE read the first post in my healing thread. Please don't take your Dad for granted or treat him with distance, because I was literally in your shoes not 2 years ago, and had a shell of what my father once was.. and I couldn't stand to look at him, let alone be with him, and I basically didn't see him or let him know that I cared the last year of his life--and he died very suddenly without me being able to make amends. If you want a relationship in your life, you have to work at it, even if its with your own parents, or people who you think you should be close with automatically for various reasons. You have to let your dad know that he's still your dad and that you do care, because it might seem obvious, but if he's struggling this much, he really might not know/feel it.
Trust me, dude... I wish I hadn't taken my Dad for granted. I know it sounds cliche, but you have no idea what I'd do to get him back so I could have one last moment and let him know how much I cared.
As far as the depression stuff goes, I'm still battling through it every day, now--I'm such a grabbag of random mood swings, I never know which day I'll be great and which day I'll be abysmal as all hell, but I think it's important to stick with the sub and let it carry you to better days.
So as far as growth and stuff goes, I don't know what your original situation was like, but mine was pretty shitty, and I've been on subs (including AM6.0 twice, 96+ days of EPRHA1, and now over 50 days of EPRHA2) for over 2 years at this point... they have helped me a lot and yet still I have so much to grow. I don't know how much sub listening you've been doing before this thread, so I apologize if this stuff feels out of turn:
I was really moved by the way you spoke about your dad. I don't know if the things that were said in the first post are still relevant, but I urge--no, implore you--PLEASE read the first post in my healing thread. Please don't take your Dad for granted or treat him with distance, because I was literally in your shoes not 2 years ago, and had a shell of what my father once was.. and I couldn't stand to look at him, let alone be with him, and I basically didn't see him or let him know that I cared the last year of his life--and he died very suddenly without me being able to make amends. If you want a relationship in your life, you have to work at it, even if its with your own parents, or people who you think you should be close with automatically for various reasons. You have to let your dad know that he's still your dad and that you do care, because it might seem obvious, but if he's struggling this much, he really might not know/feel it.
Trust me, dude... I wish I hadn't taken my Dad for granted. I know it sounds cliche, but you have no idea what I'd do to get him back so I could have one last moment and let him know how much I cared.
As far as the depression stuff goes, I'm still battling through it every day, now--I'm such a grabbag of random mood swings, I never know which day I'll be great and which day I'll be abysmal as all hell, but I think it's important to stick with the sub and let it carry you to better days.
Like snowfall, you cry a silent storm
Your tears paint rivers on this oaken wall. . .
-- Agalloch, The Mantle
Your tears paint rivers on this oaken wall. . .
-- Agalloch, The Mantle
