07-13-2016, 07:56 AM
Woke up today not feeling too great. But I caught myself and changed how I approach this. When you're riding a high for a while it's tempting to think that you've figured things out or that everything will be different from now on. But holding onto that is what actually causes more pain because you're resisting what is actually occurring in your mind. So I just let it be, and if I feel bad I feel bad. I don't make it worse by dwelling on it and I know eventually it will pass.
I made the mistake that I was past everything but it's really important to be thorough with this stuff and to not get ahead of yourself. There's definitely been some massive shifts but I still have to be very mindful of not burying things that need healing in an attempt to satisfy my own ego. There's still that perfectionist thinking that slips in every now and then that makes me feel like anything less than being positive is "wrong". Also avoidant behaviors that are disguised as good intentions to keep me mentally healthy. To experience life to the fullest I have to have healed to the point where I try new things without immediately dismissing them because of fear. I think of it like standing in a large room with all these different doors and slamming each and every one of them because of fear and never exploring opportunities given to me in life. If there's one thing I've learned about the nature of this reality it's that you have to be open to all opportunities because you never know when a seeming diversion might take you on the path you desire.
With this emotional growth over the past few days I'm noticing parallels in my music. Since music is a form of expression it's important to have that ability to express yourself without feeling the need to hold back. Sometimes my music takes a turn I didn't expect it to go and instead of fighting it I just accept it. Trying to force it in a different direction is the equivalent of trying to fight your own emotions.
I made the mistake that I was past everything but it's really important to be thorough with this stuff and to not get ahead of yourself. There's definitely been some massive shifts but I still have to be very mindful of not burying things that need healing in an attempt to satisfy my own ego. There's still that perfectionist thinking that slips in every now and then that makes me feel like anything less than being positive is "wrong". Also avoidant behaviors that are disguised as good intentions to keep me mentally healthy. To experience life to the fullest I have to have healed to the point where I try new things without immediately dismissing them because of fear. I think of it like standing in a large room with all these different doors and slamming each and every one of them because of fear and never exploring opportunities given to me in life. If there's one thing I've learned about the nature of this reality it's that you have to be open to all opportunities because you never know when a seeming diversion might take you on the path you desire.
With this emotional growth over the past few days I'm noticing parallels in my music. Since music is a form of expression it's important to have that ability to express yourself without feeling the need to hold back. Sometimes my music takes a turn I didn't expect it to go and instead of fighting it I just accept it. Trying to force it in a different direction is the equivalent of trying to fight your own emotions.
