07-09-2016, 09:40 PM
(07-09-2016, 09:11 PM)Shannon Wrote:(07-09-2016, 07:59 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote:(07-09-2016, 07:39 PM)yeah! Wrote: Are you running AM and V2 chaos and if so how?
Haven't actually run V2 yet because I didn't want to derail my AM6 run after it took a turn for the awesome. I have a date on Wednesday with someone I'm very much interested in, though. Might run it then.
I'm not going through resistance. I've been running AM6 for a year now -- I'm very much aware of what my resistance phases feel like. I'm angry because the anger is justified. There's this ridiculous mentality in America that there's something wrong with being angry. So, they suppress and hold it all in, and end up destroying themselves. There's nothing wrong with being angry in the face of mistreatment.
Justified anger is still anger, and even if you're using it to achieve a positive end, it is self destructive. In that sense, there is very much something wrong with being angry. Do you think Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. would have been anywhere near as effective and powerful for effecting positive change as he was, if he had been an angry black man expressing his anger through negative means? I know full well he was angry as hell, but he transformed that anger into a positive response instead of allowing himself to be consumed by it.
Same with Mahatma Ghandi.
There are a lot of examples.
Don't suppress it. Don't hold it in. But turn it positive and then make a positive difference with it. Negative begets negative. As above, so below also resonates to "what we are, we create, we experience". You should know that.
You're absolutely right on all points. I could've handled this a lot better and more in-line with forum rules and natural law.
It's something I've been struggling with for awhile now. For so long, that anger has shaped and defined me that I'm not sure what I'll do once it's gone. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I've been resisting the removal of this anger for awhile now. I'm resisting something so fiercely that it's manifesting as body resistance -- phantom aches, pains and even the sudden emergence of these weird boils (sorry, TMI).
While writing in my alchemy journal the other night, I realized that I'm absolutely terrified of running E2 when AM6 is complete. Took me awhile to discover the core: I've started to attain so much respect and acknowledgement from two runs of AM6 that I'm afraid of losing what I've gained, even though I know it's an unfounded fear, and I know E2 is going to help me get to the level of emotional, mental and spiritual maturity that I want. The fear is so ingrained that I was seriously considering skipping E2 and running AM6 for a third time. Which I'll still probably do, after E2 does it magic.
Gentlemen -- Catman, Terry and Dilettante -- I think it's pretty obvious that I vehemently disagree with your views regarding black men and white women. However, it was not right for me to try and silence your opinions, as I believe that's one of the main reasons that American society's suffering. I didn't live up to my own standard of "realz before feelz" (because I was definitely feeling some kind of way) and for that, I apologize.
