06-22-2016, 07:32 AM
I often wonder to what extent E2 can help me with my creative endeavors. I've had a love/hate relationship with my music for a while now. I feel the pull to create, but at the same time the fear. I can recognize my improvement. A couple of years ago I wouldn't even be able to open up the program I use to make my music. I'd just have this all consuming feeling of not being good enough that killed my motivation to do anything. Nowadays my desire to create overrides that feeling most of the time. But what I'm really looking for is the complete absence of that feeling and the dissolving of the inner blocks that prevent me from engaging in the very thing I love.
My only memory of when creativity became an anxiety provoking thing for me was in elementary school art class. I had a teacher that often praised students with more natural talent and criticized those who weren't as gifted. Looking back I think she might have been one of those neurotic artists that had no concept of how to foster creativity in children. The type that never had the success they wanted because of their own problems and now they project them onto their students. Anyway I feel like that marked the death of my pure creative headspace I could get into prior to that point in my life.
I've always felt that creativity is really just the absence of fear, doubt, criticism, etc. People always talk about pushing past fear or forcing yourself to make art despite what that inner critic says. But to me that's completely neglecting the inner beliefs that might still be held surrounding what it means to create. You're not in alignment with your subconscious and your subconscious is where your best ideas are created from. The inner critic is discussed as if it were this separate malicious entity, but it's really just a reflection of another aspect of a person that they keep hidden.
By far the most powerful force for creating is intuition. But it's easily snuffed out by lingering doubts and insecurities about one's own competence. I'd go so far as to say the mysticism that surrounds artists or creative types is often a load of bullshit and as humans we have an innate desire to create that should be fostered instead of stomped on in society.
My only memory of when creativity became an anxiety provoking thing for me was in elementary school art class. I had a teacher that often praised students with more natural talent and criticized those who weren't as gifted. Looking back I think she might have been one of those neurotic artists that had no concept of how to foster creativity in children. The type that never had the success they wanted because of their own problems and now they project them onto their students. Anyway I feel like that marked the death of my pure creative headspace I could get into prior to that point in my life.
I've always felt that creativity is really just the absence of fear, doubt, criticism, etc. People always talk about pushing past fear or forcing yourself to make art despite what that inner critic says. But to me that's completely neglecting the inner beliefs that might still be held surrounding what it means to create. You're not in alignment with your subconscious and your subconscious is where your best ideas are created from. The inner critic is discussed as if it were this separate malicious entity, but it's really just a reflection of another aspect of a person that they keep hidden.
By far the most powerful force for creating is intuition. But it's easily snuffed out by lingering doubts and insecurities about one's own competence. I'd go so far as to say the mysticism that surrounds artists or creative types is often a load of bullshit and as humans we have an innate desire to create that should be fostered instead of stomped on in society.
