Arctic Fox's EPRHA V2 Journal

[ArcticFox]

So after a lot research about my condition I'm going to attempt a natural healing route first, using a book here http://www.varicocelehealing.com/ and opt for surgery only as a last resort. I wonder if I will be able to use MHS 5.5 when its released to help with the treatment

After reading Kings009 LTU journal this morning I noticed a post from 4Kingdoms quoting Athena's E2 journal:

So I spoke to my parents last night, and as usual they told me excitedly how they are helping my brother do up his 2nd home - my Dad is managing the whole thing for free. He then moans about how its almost killing him and they're both really tired!! This didn't wind me up that much, I managed to stay chilled.

This morning while walking to work i'm looking at houses for sale down my road, this triggered some negative thought patterns on how I have nothing, yet my parents spend all there time helping my brother who has 3 homes now! (I'm fully responsible for the fact I have no large assets so there is nothing really to be annoyed about). But this winds me up and I start to stew and create my own little storm cloud, people around me can feel my vibes when I'm in this state - which I don't like being in, and haven't for a while (probably since i last talked to my parents).

So I'm now on the morning train still in my moody little storm cloud and I'm doing what Athena talked about, I'm picking this scab and digging into my negative thoughts, which is basically sado masochism - I'm making the wound worse, really trying to cause myself more pain because in some weird sort of way I get enjoyment out of it - still following the earlier thoughts around my parents, brother, and housing situation - THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I catch a glimpse of a newspaper in front of me and my chain of thought is BROKEN.

I try REALLY hard to get back into the negative thought chain but I just cant do it, just to test myself I'm really thinking about the earlier thoughts and to get back on that negative cycle but I physically cant do it. My mind is just like "Nah, I'm totally chill about that now!"

It was amazing really, my mind let me run with the negative thoughts then when E2 got its chance it stepped in and worked its magic, like the flick of a switch I was pulled out of the destructive thought cycle and put back on track - after which the negative thoughts were not an option. The scab was healed in an instant leaving nothing for my mind to pick at.

Reading other journals really helps in finding the big moments in my journey, which without could seem almost insignificant.