05-24-2016, 06:56 PM
I made a discovery today about why I enjoy making music. I've realized music for me is the purest expression of myself without feeling the need to hide something or appear a certain way. Following that realization was that being myself shouldn't be limited to just my music, I need to extend that into other parts of my life as well.
I feel like there's a part of me that I've pushed away. Growing up there were a lot of things I didn't like about myself. I tried to outgrow them as an adult, but a lot of these things I didn't like are me. I never outgrew them, I just suppressed a part of myself. That hollow emptiness I tend to battle with is probably just the result of not allowing the full expression of myself. One thing that always bothered me was my high sensitivity. I tried not to be sensitive, but the only way to do that is to just completely shut down the emotions and that's no good.
There's just still a lot of healing that needs to take place for me. My psyche feels very fragmented and compartmentalized. Like I'm not whole, just shattered pieces of myself I have to put back together again.
I feel like there's a part of me that I've pushed away. Growing up there were a lot of things I didn't like about myself. I tried to outgrow them as an adult, but a lot of these things I didn't like are me. I never outgrew them, I just suppressed a part of myself. That hollow emptiness I tend to battle with is probably just the result of not allowing the full expression of myself. One thing that always bothered me was my high sensitivity. I tried not to be sensitive, but the only way to do that is to just completely shut down the emotions and that's no good.
There's just still a lot of healing that needs to take place for me. My psyche feels very fragmented and compartmentalized. Like I'm not whole, just shattered pieces of myself I have to put back together again.
