05-20-2016, 07:10 AM
I've been stuck inside my head these past few weeks. The only meaningful description I have for what I've been going through is being stuck in these endless thought loops that won't leave me alone and constantly stressing myself out. Very close to OCD, at least the obsessive part. The other day I didn't go to sleep until 3am because I was trying to figure out how to set up a control surface in my DAW. During this time I could not put it down and just go to sleep. I'd get anxiety about trying to figure out the "right" solution. Which is a familiar trap in my brain. It's not like I wanted to stay up until 3, it was more like I was a slave to what my brain was telling me to figure out.
Anyway I realized my descent into madness started soon after I stopped taking a SAM-e supplement. I started back up again and it feels like my brain is working right. I'm all about finding the solution at the source and I thought a lot of my perfectionism and low motivation was just due to a lot of negative beliefs I hold. But I'm starting to think there's a chemical deficiency going on here that the sam-e fixes.
To put it in simple terms. With SAM-e it feels like I can actually utilize some of the strategies like positive self talk and breaking things down and taking things in small chunks without getting overwhelmed. Off of SAM-e I literally cannot do any of that, it's like it's just completely ineffective. Like throwing small buckets of water on a raging fire. I also feel like my mind is A LOT more receptive to the subliminals and enacting those changes. So I don't know if I'm staying on the supplement forever, but as of right now it's the only thing that can pull me out of the hell of my mind.
Anyway I realized my descent into madness started soon after I stopped taking a SAM-e supplement. I started back up again and it feels like my brain is working right. I'm all about finding the solution at the source and I thought a lot of my perfectionism and low motivation was just due to a lot of negative beliefs I hold. But I'm starting to think there's a chemical deficiency going on here that the sam-e fixes.
To put it in simple terms. With SAM-e it feels like I can actually utilize some of the strategies like positive self talk and breaking things down and taking things in small chunks without getting overwhelmed. Off of SAM-e I literally cannot do any of that, it's like it's just completely ineffective. Like throwing small buckets of water on a raging fire. I also feel like my mind is A LOT more receptive to the subliminals and enacting those changes. So I don't know if I'm staying on the supplement forever, but as of right now it's the only thing that can pull me out of the hell of my mind.
