05-04-2011, 01:58 PM
(05-04-2011, 12:41 PM)mat422 Wrote: Sometimes I really have to take a step back and stop trying to understand things so much. Right now it's my last week of stage 4 and I think the biggest thing I need to realize is I still haven't finished the set. What I mean by this is that my expectancy kind of minimizes my awareness of results.
Right now it would do me some good to just enjoy the journey instead of focusing on the destination. Something that helped me do this was a little meditation on feelings I had. I asked myself "What would I be doing if I didn't have the subliminal right now?" As great as the subliminal is, at times I feel like I'm waiting.
The biggest problem is I'm waiting for the results that I THINK are going to happen. While I'm thinking about what could be happening I'm not actually observing how I have changed. Within the past few days something clicked in my head and I felt alpha. Walk was smooth as hell, my posture improved dramatically, I had a no nonsense attitude. The only thing that still bothered me was the anxiety. At times I feel the anxiety operates independently of my thoughts, I'm confident, I feel confident, but I still have anxiety. The difference is I no longer beat myself up for it and I don't feel like less of a person for having it.
I'll see if by the end of this set the anxiety is resolved. If not I might go on to one of the subs for anxiety or see a psychiatrist or something. I don't like taking medication, but if it is a biological problem then I better just swallow my pride. My mom's side of the family has issues with anxiety and depression. Which you could say my mom learned these behaviors and passed them on to me, the whole nature vs nurture debate.
I wish they didn't push medication like candy so much and actually knew the hows and whys of medication that treats a condition such as anxiety. To me SSRIs don't seem like a likely solution to an anxiety problem. I was actually on them a while back, made my life very foggy, sure I didn't have anxiety but I also had no color to life, no spectrum of emotion. Being a human guinea pig isn't my idea of a good time and I feel like a lot of those SSRIs are trial and error with little scientific basis behind them.
Hey man,
By anxiety do you mean your social anxiety or just general anxiety? Social anxiety is probably going to be overcome in the next 2 stages, I've had my moments of social anxiety not that it's very high anymore though, but stage 4 really brought it out. Anyways, I totally understand not wanting to go on pills, being on them now, I hate it but I'm just now coming off. I totally feel foggy and no color to life, no emotion so I understand what that was like. If you have to take them, try asking about Lexapro which isn't such a horrible one to take, I'm on it now and the side effects are very minimal. Also ask them about Buspar. It's an anti-anxiety med that you take several times a day to take the edge off. It's like Xanax but the only difference is that you do not get addicted to it and there are no side effects that I've noticed, just makes you a little tired/out of it for about 30 minutes after taking. It's not as quick acting, but it's pretty effective. There are some other things to look into to, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is definitely one, which a good therapist will help you with. Also check out the program Overcome Anxiety & Depression, I see an infomercial for it all the time! But for gods sake, stay away from any Benzo: Xanax, Ativan AND Paxil! Evil evil drugs! There are also herbal remedies like St. John's Worts, Bach Remedy Spray, and a few others that you can buy at any Pharmacy or Walmart.
