Arctic Fox's EPRHA V2 Journal

[ArcticFox]

Ok I should have tried to update more frequently as I forgot a lot of important stuff. To jog my memory I'm going to jot down some thoughts and then pad them out with details later. These are not all sub related, or things that I expect the sub to clear - I just want to update journal with events that may have some relevance and points that I want to reflect on in the future.

• Spiteful interaction with friend on my part that I managed to contain.
  
  
  
• Good developments in socialising and getting myself out there
  
  
  
• Guilt reduction on large purchase/present to my self
  
  
  
• Familiar feelings of stomach flutter induced thoughts of regret based on missed opportunities
  
  
  
• Claustrophobic experiences still occurring (hot flannel over face in barbers), but improved experiences when travelling by tube
  
  
  
• increased sub usage now with speakers at desk, don't know why I didn't do this before.
  
  
  
• Interest in one of my life long hobbies (RC Cars) at a low, this tends to go in cycles - but may be a turning point.
  
  
  
• Still avoiding getting a girlfriend, well I'm not actively seeking one
  
  
  
• Some sexual fantasies are way off 'normal' and need reigning in / but could escalate out of control - perhaps causing me to lose desire for normal healthy sexual relation with women.
  
  
  
• Still believe I am punching way below my weight in life and am failing in areas, a few peers and associates have things that I dreamed of and are less capable than me but are more focused/driven.
  
  
  
• Had some very positive social interactions with family and friends, I would say huge progress here.
  
  
  
• Potentially catastrophic situation at work regarding my contract could have ended badly, I handled it very well - but there was one moment on the phone when I went into a muscling tensing, heart pounding, nervous/frustrated state with someone on the phone - but still managed to come off chilled and with good outcome.
  

Overall everything really is going great, I am making steady, positive progress. The sub is awesome and although I sometimes face resistance it is very internal, and hasnt exposed me in situations.

When listening at work my brain gets a great fuzzy vibe, super chilled but confident and calm. The feeling seems to intensify for about 30 minutes after I stop listening which is nice. I also notice my brain shifting, like its being massaged in areas.