05-06-2016, 04:08 AM
I'm meeting my possible future start-up consultant in about four days. Should we reach an agreement, it will make it a lot easier for me to negotiate better terms with investors AND attract more interest in general. For the time being, I'm not putting any effort into it.
This allowed me some more time for introspection, so here goes. Lately I've been noticing how comfortable I seem to be with certain behaviors that previously I had lots of GSF towards.
I'm pitching a startup without having 100% (or even 50%) of the desired qualifications yet I'm pitching ideas, hoping that I'll eventually make it work somehow. Generally, it seems to be working too. Usually I enjoy this type of work, since it makes for a good learning experience. For the first time in my life, however, I'm doing something where I'm deeply uncertain whether I have at least enough critical mass to be able to make it up as I go along.
Additionally, I find myself casually flirting with women, whom I know are taken... and that doesn't seem to phase me at all. I haven't gone further than that, but I don't seem to have any breaks in place that would stop me. Before, I used to have a mild GSF attack if I realized this was the case, which used to stop me dead in my tracks.
So currently I'm going through a phase where I hate women for being a bit easy, investors for being a bit stupid and I also hate myself a little bit for what seems to be a lack of integrity on my part. Intellectually, I somewhat understand that this is part of the learning process. Still, without any current perspective on how the situation might unfold, I can't help but wonder how much of it is a learning experience and how much I'm just being an ass.
This allowed me some more time for introspection, so here goes. Lately I've been noticing how comfortable I seem to be with certain behaviors that previously I had lots of GSF towards.
I'm pitching a startup without having 100% (or even 50%) of the desired qualifications yet I'm pitching ideas, hoping that I'll eventually make it work somehow. Generally, it seems to be working too. Usually I enjoy this type of work, since it makes for a good learning experience. For the first time in my life, however, I'm doing something where I'm deeply uncertain whether I have at least enough critical mass to be able to make it up as I go along.
Additionally, I find myself casually flirting with women, whom I know are taken... and that doesn't seem to phase me at all. I haven't gone further than that, but I don't seem to have any breaks in place that would stop me. Before, I used to have a mild GSF attack if I realized this was the case, which used to stop me dead in my tracks.
So currently I'm going through a phase where I hate women for being a bit easy, investors for being a bit stupid and I also hate myself a little bit for what seems to be a lack of integrity on my part. Intellectually, I somewhat understand that this is part of the learning process. Still, without any current perspective on how the situation might unfold, I can't help but wonder how much of it is a learning experience and how much I'm just being an ass.
