Everything always seems more serious than it actually is. This is how my life has been a lot of the time. Right now I'm still worried about being fired from my job. Like if I make a mistake or screw up somehow. I just need to stop stressing about this stuff. I need to stop taking life so serious in general. I'm still stuck in a survivor mentality and it's been wearing me out.
What really got me thinking about this is I can't relax easily. I used to think that I couldn't relax because I was unemployed, but now even after a day of work I find myself feeling bad that I rest instead of doing things. It's always gonna be something, I realize that now. As long as I set conditions for when I'm allowed to relax I'll constantly be under stress. It's not the situation I'm in, it's how I respond to it that ultimately effects me.
I feel bad when I don't want to hang out with friends and when I fall off the radar. Sometimes I'll hang out because I want to be a good friend. But it can get mentally exhausting trying to keep up when you don't feel like it. I feel bad when I don't get my dishes done or I don't clean. In general I just feel bad when I'm not as productive as I should be. I'm still focusing all my energy on healing my issues which doesn't leave a lot put aside for other tasks. I'm easily exhausted and yet I feel like I don't actually do anything. Or it could be that a lot of my energy spent is invisible because it's all going on inside my head where nobody can see it.
What really got me thinking about this is I can't relax easily. I used to think that I couldn't relax because I was unemployed, but now even after a day of work I find myself feeling bad that I rest instead of doing things. It's always gonna be something, I realize that now. As long as I set conditions for when I'm allowed to relax I'll constantly be under stress. It's not the situation I'm in, it's how I respond to it that ultimately effects me.
I feel bad when I don't want to hang out with friends and when I fall off the radar. Sometimes I'll hang out because I want to be a good friend. But it can get mentally exhausting trying to keep up when you don't feel like it. I feel bad when I don't get my dishes done or I don't clean. In general I just feel bad when I'm not as productive as I should be. I'm still focusing all my energy on healing my issues which doesn't leave a lot put aside for other tasks. I'm easily exhausted and yet I feel like I don't actually do anything. Or it could be that a lot of my energy spent is invisible because it's all going on inside my head where nobody can see it.
