04-14-2016, 10:23 AM
So my last post was just a huge purge of negative stuff. Interestingly enough half way through writing that post I got a call for an interview at another job that same day. Still cashiering, but when I interviewed I felt like they were actually a good place to work for. Actually valuing their employees instead of treating them with lack of respect and such.
So as it stands now I landed a job which is huge step for me. But I have a second interview tomorrow at the first place and I'm going to see if I can change my availability to only mornings. So if that works I'll have two part time jobs. Which will be a first for me. I figure I can at least try it and if I can't hack it I'll just drop the second job.
I'm nervous about working again. And I realize it's because I do still struggle a bit with anxiety and depression. It kind of puts me in a place where tasks get more difficult than they should be. I used to get angry about employers not understanding me, but in all honesty I'm just a poor candidate objectively speaking. They have their pick of thousands of potential employees so it makes sense they wouldn't pick the one with issues. I know legally speaking they aren't allowed to discriminate, but when you're employed at will it doesn't matter.
I've realized I have a tendency to just think people are going to screw me over or treat me badly. It puts me on the defensive and it really puts a negative slant on everything. I'd like to get rid of that and stop applying a lot of past experiences to future ones that I haven't experienced yet. It just leaves me with a lack of room for growth because I'm so caught up in believing things are a certain way when they might be the complete opposite. I'd just be too blinded to see it.
So as it stands now I landed a job which is huge step for me. But I have a second interview tomorrow at the first place and I'm going to see if I can change my availability to only mornings. So if that works I'll have two part time jobs. Which will be a first for me. I figure I can at least try it and if I can't hack it I'll just drop the second job.
I'm nervous about working again. And I realize it's because I do still struggle a bit with anxiety and depression. It kind of puts me in a place where tasks get more difficult than they should be. I used to get angry about employers not understanding me, but in all honesty I'm just a poor candidate objectively speaking. They have their pick of thousands of potential employees so it makes sense they wouldn't pick the one with issues. I know legally speaking they aren't allowed to discriminate, but when you're employed at will it doesn't matter.
I've realized I have a tendency to just think people are going to screw me over or treat me badly. It puts me on the defensive and it really puts a negative slant on everything. I'd like to get rid of that and stop applying a lot of past experiences to future ones that I haven't experienced yet. It just leaves me with a lack of room for growth because I'm so caught up in believing things are a certain way when they might be the complete opposite. I'd just be too blinded to see it.
