alpha 3

[ffaux]

Just asked one of the PTs at the gym if she's single. We've had a few conversations and I think she is attracted but she wasn't single. I'm actually not a fan of the fact that I asked her. It was almost compulsive and I only did it so I wouldn't berate myself for being a pussy. On the one hand I'm glad I asked because now I know but on the other I asked for all of the wrong reasons. I was just feeling all of these negative feelings and I know I would have punished myself if I didn't make a move. It's hard to explain. I'm happy that I made a move but I'm unhappy about why I did it.

I remember in the beginning of my first AM run-through I felt similar. It wasn't until Sex Magnet that I really felt my needs start to diminish. I remember in the beginning, like many here, I was drawn to these subliminals to get women, lots of women. It's all I could think about and want. It got really frustrating day-in day-out. At first, I was spending my time starring at, talking to, hitting on every single girl I could. Like pretty much every other guy out there. I would get rejected, a lot. Over time, I got sick of it, the constant rejection and watching other friends of mine who would go into a bar and obsess over some random girl and constantly run over and hit on them, be rejected, smile and think it's ok, do it again with another, fail, rinse and repeat expecting different results...

I would also wonder to myself, if I didn't hit on women or try to get them in bed, how could that ever happen? I had no idea that women would eventually become receptive to you the more indifferent to them you became. I thought they rejected me because I thought I was ugly, fat (even though I was skinny), creepy, whatever... But, I noticed good looking guys dealing with the same stuff every time they went into desperation mode.

When I was getting girls texting me to come over and **** them... or girls waiting 2-3 days after meeting to bring up sexual conversation, it really did surprise me, changed the way I thought. And most importantly, I stopped suffering. I stopped worrying about being alone and needing a different girl each week or every other day. I stopped getting frustrated from rejection and feeling like I'd never get it.

The nice thing is that you are aware of what is going on. Perhaps, you feel bad because this woman made you display beta behavior and cave into your need to put her on a pedestal? I don't know what the case may be, but you're still in the beginning and the beginning is always the most exciting. Don't worry about feeling bad or upset on how you behave... or even if your ego tells you "you're not acting Alpha", if that ever occurs. I know in many cases I had that a lot, but it has gone away entirely to the point where I don't even care or think about it.