I have a hard time letting people in. I tend to keep everyone at arms length to avoid letting them get too close. while growing up, i've had to move 7 times, each time having to start all over with new people. i subconsciously learned that it hurts like hell to leave your friends and loved ones to go make new ones, and then it hurts like hell to leave those friends to make yet more new ones. it's very difficult... now i'm going through it again. just when i thought i finally planted my roots in my part of houston, i start to push everyone away and start detaching from everyone as i prepare to leave the country
i just realized it today that this is what i'm doing, and it is old behavior that i do not like. this is misinformation i have programmed myself with that needs to go.
i literally felt sick to my stomach yesterday and today with the depression. i feel like throwing up at various parts of the day. it's especially more nauseating when "She" is around......
E2 must be going DEEP to dig some of the OLD crap that acts as a cornerstone and foundation for the mountain of shit that's built on top.... judging by the way i have been feeling, i might need to run this program for a few months.
i just realized it today that this is what i'm doing, and it is old behavior that i do not like. this is misinformation i have programmed myself with that needs to go.
i literally felt sick to my stomach yesterday and today with the depression. i feel like throwing up at various parts of the day. it's especially more nauseating when "She" is around......
E2 must be going DEEP to dig some of the OLD crap that acts as a cornerstone and foundation for the mountain of shit that's built on top.... judging by the way i have been feeling, i might need to run this program for a few months.
