04-07-2016, 06:14 AM
day 18
woke up, realized I never hit play on sub last night (doh!). Dream recollection hazy. immediately turned on ultrasonics ( been about an hour). started thinking about yesterday's drama which got me super angry again...but as I listen to sub and write this post I seem to be calming down to a zen-like level.
funny. I came on to write about my anger but now it seems silly to do so (even though I did). umm...well...let's talk about life tune up.
-peace and serenity just replaced a fit of rage
-learned to let the process happen
-just learned that I need to learn different ways to funnel the rage in public situations
-I get positive flashbacks, kinda, some are thoughts of how much my family has done and sacrificed for me and support me but mixed in there are emotions that I'm ashamed and guilty and I just realized its just running through the process...lol
-positivity and winning are dominant in my inner arguments
even on Adderall I have trouble focusing um so this is all I can think of for the post
man 5g really wears me down. I feel like I'm worn out and just want to sleep or veg out. normally I would give in but the subs are helping me cuz I keep thinking big picture, you know goals and passions and stuff. the amphetamines don't hurt (prescribed).
oh, loa question, I'm hazy on some things I want in life but with ltu kind of have faith things will work out . the question is I want a life with certain elements, but the vision is unclear but slowly clearing, is it enough to just keep wanting( I know I sound like Abraham) and there is the answer. conceive, believe, and that's all I need cuz the last part depends on how effective the first 2 steps went.
oh crap, I'm late for work.
woke up, realized I never hit play on sub last night (doh!). Dream recollection hazy. immediately turned on ultrasonics ( been about an hour). started thinking about yesterday's drama which got me super angry again...but as I listen to sub and write this post I seem to be calming down to a zen-like level.
funny. I came on to write about my anger but now it seems silly to do so (even though I did). umm...well...let's talk about life tune up.
-peace and serenity just replaced a fit of rage
-learned to let the process happen
-just learned that I need to learn different ways to funnel the rage in public situations
-I get positive flashbacks, kinda, some are thoughts of how much my family has done and sacrificed for me and support me but mixed in there are emotions that I'm ashamed and guilty and I just realized its just running through the process...lol
-positivity and winning are dominant in my inner arguments
even on Adderall I have trouble focusing um so this is all I can think of for the post
man 5g really wears me down. I feel like I'm worn out and just want to sleep or veg out. normally I would give in but the subs are helping me cuz I keep thinking big picture, you know goals and passions and stuff. the amphetamines don't hurt (prescribed).
oh, loa question, I'm hazy on some things I want in life but with ltu kind of have faith things will work out . the question is I want a life with certain elements, but the vision is unclear but slowly clearing, is it enough to just keep wanting( I know I sound like Abraham) and there is the answer. conceive, believe, and that's all I need cuz the last part depends on how effective the first 2 steps went.
oh crap, I'm late for work.
