04-06-2016, 07:51 PM
So I'm sitting here, it's about 11:20pm. I should be getting to sleep, but to be honest I don't want to go to sleep and have to deal with tomorrow. Just had some things I need to unload from my mind. It seems like with this sub I get these moments where I've healed from something and feel better. But I have a tendency to hold onto those feelings of contentment too much. So it's like I'll feel really good, but then I notice the darkness creeping back in. And every instinct in me tells me to avoid it and run the other way, but I realize it's just more stuff that needs to be healed and if I don't allow it I'll never get better.
What it comes down to is just making progress and growth in general. Sometimes when I overcome something or notice a change I have a tendency to get carried away and think things will be drastically different. But I come to realize there's more stuff I need to learn or work on.
It's the same for my music. I have these moments where I think I'm at a certain level, but I listen to my favorite artists and realize there's still a lot more growth that's needed. I shot myself in the foot in the past by ignoring what needed to be worked on because I was too insecure about sucking.
I'll be honest, lately I've felt like a lot of people just run around like chickens without heads and just give poor advice to everyone. Like the blind leading the blind. But to them I guess I'm just an aimless wanderer without direction. I guess on the outside my overall progress doesn't look like much, but I feel like the mental work I've done over the years is just me choosing to follow a path that I feel with reward me in the end more. One thing is for certain, since running this sub I've realized how careful you have to be about believing what others say. Some people live out there limiting beliefs as if they were facts and spread their ideas onto others without realizing it.
What it comes down to is just making progress and growth in general. Sometimes when I overcome something or notice a change I have a tendency to get carried away and think things will be drastically different. But I come to realize there's more stuff I need to learn or work on.
It's the same for my music. I have these moments where I think I'm at a certain level, but I listen to my favorite artists and realize there's still a lot more growth that's needed. I shot myself in the foot in the past by ignoring what needed to be worked on because I was too insecure about sucking.
I'll be honest, lately I've felt like a lot of people just run around like chickens without heads and just give poor advice to everyone. Like the blind leading the blind. But to them I guess I'm just an aimless wanderer without direction. I guess on the outside my overall progress doesn't look like much, but I feel like the mental work I've done over the years is just me choosing to follow a path that I feel with reward me in the end more. One thing is for certain, since running this sub I've realized how careful you have to be about believing what others say. Some people live out there limiting beliefs as if they were facts and spread their ideas onto others without realizing it.
