04-05-2016, 06:59 AM
Fear can be a motivator or a paralyzer but it depends on how the person perceives the emotion. My current frame on it is more of the paralysis. I am trying to reframe fear as the former.
IRL
My bottle of pheros leaked abit and the I basically inhaled a good amount of it. Aside from the mone high, I began enjoying my interactions more, and I felt the fear of being judged by others, but that fear felt easy to overcome. I was acting a bit sloppy in class and was being jabbed at by the professor for making silly remarks. My mind visualized a girl in the class and thought "I look fucking stupid". I thought "go fuck yourself" in a reactive but fun way and eventually was able to overcome it and have fun in the process.
After class, I started talking to this girl but the whole situation felt natural (in hindsight it was funny because it looked extremely awkward. it was mostly small talk but in the end my body was walking away from her as the conversation continued she seem to enjoy it and I did too.
I walk out of the building and I see a cute girl but my momentum came to a screeching halt........ at least I made progress in reframing interaction.
I am noticing a huge disparity between my internal view of myself and my external actions. Internally, I think of myself as a quiet sweet asian guy who has self esteem issues. Externally, I have and demonstrated the capacity to talk to people, have fun and talk to people in general. The crux of the matter is my internal view is limiting my external potential and embody the extroverted self that I strive for.
I just started talking to a guy who bought supplements. I started talking to him and I was very animated about it. We had an awesome time at the moment and we had alot of fun just conversing.
I had no problem giving props to people who deserved it. This older lady helped me prepare for a test and I just gave her alot of thanks. It felt natural.
For the time being, I think the pheros would be a sort of crutch until my internal reality/perception can mirror my external. I can however try to consciously work on the perception by continuing to talk to people and raise my internal to match the external.
IRL
My bottle of pheros leaked abit and the I basically inhaled a good amount of it. Aside from the mone high, I began enjoying my interactions more, and I felt the fear of being judged by others, but that fear felt easy to overcome. I was acting a bit sloppy in class and was being jabbed at by the professor for making silly remarks. My mind visualized a girl in the class and thought "I look fucking stupid". I thought "go fuck yourself" in a reactive but fun way and eventually was able to overcome it and have fun in the process.
After class, I started talking to this girl but the whole situation felt natural (in hindsight it was funny because it looked extremely awkward. it was mostly small talk but in the end my body was walking away from her as the conversation continued she seem to enjoy it and I did too.
I walk out of the building and I see a cute girl but my momentum came to a screeching halt........ at least I made progress in reframing interaction.
I am noticing a huge disparity between my internal view of myself and my external actions. Internally, I think of myself as a quiet sweet asian guy who has self esteem issues. Externally, I have and demonstrated the capacity to talk to people, have fun and talk to people in general. The crux of the matter is my internal view is limiting my external potential and embody the extroverted self that I strive for.
I just started talking to a guy who bought supplements. I started talking to him and I was very animated about it. We had an awesome time at the moment and we had alot of fun just conversing.
I had no problem giving props to people who deserved it. This older lady helped me prepare for a test and I just gave her alot of thanks. It felt natural.
For the time being, I think the pheros would be a sort of crutch until my internal reality/perception can mirror my external. I can however try to consciously work on the perception by continuing to talk to people and raise my internal to match the external.
Phase 1: The Foundation
AM6(2020)
LTU v6(2020-2021)
OF v3(2021)
Phase 2
AM6 Refresher + SM3(2021)
AM6(2020)
LTU v6(2020-2021)
OF v3(2021)
Phase 2
AM6 Refresher + SM3(2021)
