03-18-2016, 02:46 PM
Important lesson learned today. Sometimes the most confident thing can be admitting you're not as confident as you want to be. I really wanted to go into this job interview with no anxiety, but I still woke up this morning feeling a lot of that. Instead of fighting it I just accepted it and said to myself it's fine to be nervous. It didn't go away, but I told myself even if it went horribly and I messed up it's fine. Now that was liberating because the job interview no longer seemed like this thing where I was putting my self worth on the line.
The interview went well. Built up some good rapport with the guy I interviewed with. But for the first time in my life I used it as an opportunity to see if it was right for me, not just seeking approval from the hiring manager. And I determined if I took this job I would be in the very position I'm trying to avoid. Basically having the life squeezed out of me for the sake of profit and at the expense of my mental health. So I didn't even get an offer, but I decided I'm not working there. But I had my doubts. Suddenly my mind said "what about everyone else working here? You should work here too, you're just making excuses" But then I realized I was just comparing myself to others and not doing what's in MY best interest. People stay in crappy jobs all the time because of fear or some sense of guilt ridden loyalty but that doesn't make it right. I'm taking on an abundance mentality, I'm not going to settle for a job because I'm afraid of not having one.
I'm not even bummed that it turned out to be a dead end in my job search. If anything I'm grateful because I got to experience what it's like to turn down an employer for once. Well sort of, not like I got the job offer or anything but he seemed interested in hiring me. I just know it wouldn't be good for me. Plus the corporate tactics for selling just violate all my morals. No thanks. Let it be known that a lot of corporations will work you into the ground and not care about you one bit. But oh will they lie about it and try to put on a good face for the public. Makes me sick. I used to constantly wonder if I was just jaded but I see now you really have to protect yourself from their slimy manipulative tactics.
The interview went well. Built up some good rapport with the guy I interviewed with. But for the first time in my life I used it as an opportunity to see if it was right for me, not just seeking approval from the hiring manager. And I determined if I took this job I would be in the very position I'm trying to avoid. Basically having the life squeezed out of me for the sake of profit and at the expense of my mental health. So I didn't even get an offer, but I decided I'm not working there. But I had my doubts. Suddenly my mind said "what about everyone else working here? You should work here too, you're just making excuses" But then I realized I was just comparing myself to others and not doing what's in MY best interest. People stay in crappy jobs all the time because of fear or some sense of guilt ridden loyalty but that doesn't make it right. I'm taking on an abundance mentality, I'm not going to settle for a job because I'm afraid of not having one.
I'm not even bummed that it turned out to be a dead end in my job search. If anything I'm grateful because I got to experience what it's like to turn down an employer for once. Well sort of, not like I got the job offer or anything but he seemed interested in hiring me. I just know it wouldn't be good for me. Plus the corporate tactics for selling just violate all my morals. No thanks. Let it be known that a lot of corporations will work you into the ground and not care about you one bit. But oh will they lie about it and try to put on a good face for the public. Makes me sick. I used to constantly wonder if I was just jaded but I see now you really have to protect yourself from their slimy manipulative tactics.
