03-17-2016, 06:37 AM
Had an interesting very short dream last night. I was walking some dogs and then I saw this car swerving like crazy. I jumped over it at the last second so it didn't kill me. It crashed and then a whole bunch of zombies started coming out of the woods. I was terrified and normally with my dreams bad stuff happens to me, I almost never survive. But it was like this flash of fear and then I decided I wasn't going to let them kill me. So I pulled out a gun and offed every single one of them John Wick style haha. I've never had a bad dream where it's turned around like that so fast, so it was cool.
And this is kind of unrelated but I've been beating myself up a lot about this job searching thing. Some days I really don't see anything and my first instinct is to keep grinding away until I do. But I realized there's only so much you can do before you just start needlessly wasting energy that could be involved in more productive tasks. For example, I'm going to start learning HTML and CSS. Having said that since running EHPRA 2.0 for a bit I'm actually applying to jobs now and actively searching for them. Something that filled me with so much fear before half the time I couldn't even bring myself to go on a job site. So there's definitely progress. I'm probably going to aim for at least 1 quality application a day. I'd rather spend most of my day working on 1 quality application than a bunch that were thrown together hastily in order to fulfill some quota.
Maybe this is a suggestions from the sub but I've realized progressively overcoming these fears in steps is more effective than just jumping off the deep end. Throwing myself in the deep end always seemed to make things worse for me. And I felt bad about that at times because I'd see other people overcome their fears in one single big step, which never really worked for me. But that's what works for me so I'm going to stick with it. Better to move forward at a slower pace than rush things and end up further back from where you started.
And this is kind of unrelated but I've been beating myself up a lot about this job searching thing. Some days I really don't see anything and my first instinct is to keep grinding away until I do. But I realized there's only so much you can do before you just start needlessly wasting energy that could be involved in more productive tasks. For example, I'm going to start learning HTML and CSS. Having said that since running EHPRA 2.0 for a bit I'm actually applying to jobs now and actively searching for them. Something that filled me with so much fear before half the time I couldn't even bring myself to go on a job site. So there's definitely progress. I'm probably going to aim for at least 1 quality application a day. I'd rather spend most of my day working on 1 quality application than a bunch that were thrown together hastily in order to fulfill some quota.
Maybe this is a suggestions from the sub but I've realized progressively overcoming these fears in steps is more effective than just jumping off the deep end. Throwing myself in the deep end always seemed to make things worse for me. And I felt bad about that at times because I'd see other people overcome their fears in one single big step, which never really worked for me. But that's what works for me so I'm going to stick with it. Better to move forward at a slower pace than rush things and end up further back from where you started.
