03-16-2016, 07:04 AM
So I got my answer to all my questions I pondered in that last post haha. It's funny how I can go to sleep completely lost and wake up the next morning feeling like I found the solution.
Anyway I have to exercise my boundaries more. I have to do things I'm afraid to do, otherwise they'll continue to haunt me. This sub has been pushing me to do those things, but there are still moments where I can stonewall that. I keep retreating to my comfort zone, but luckily it only lasts a day or two and even then I keep moving forward in small ways instead of completely shutting out the world like I used to do.
I know this sub has overcome the victim mentality. I never thought I had one, but after seeing the transformation in my thoughts I realize how many excuses I'd make for not being able to do things in the past to push my boundaries. The fact is I'm not trying as hard as I could be, I still run away at times. Fear is no excuse to avoid things. Yeah it sucks and it's caused my life to essentially go off the rails a bit, but bringing my life back on track is my job and if I keep telling myself I can't do things then I won't be able to do them. I want things to be easy for me, but nothing in my life has been easy so I have to make peace with that and keep moving forward.
I like writing in this journal because it keeps me accountable for my actions and following through on what I said I'd do. I know I won't succeed 100% of the time in not giving into the fear, but I'm going to do my best to not allow it to control me.
Anyway I have to exercise my boundaries more. I have to do things I'm afraid to do, otherwise they'll continue to haunt me. This sub has been pushing me to do those things, but there are still moments where I can stonewall that. I keep retreating to my comfort zone, but luckily it only lasts a day or two and even then I keep moving forward in small ways instead of completely shutting out the world like I used to do.
I know this sub has overcome the victim mentality. I never thought I had one, but after seeing the transformation in my thoughts I realize how many excuses I'd make for not being able to do things in the past to push my boundaries. The fact is I'm not trying as hard as I could be, I still run away at times. Fear is no excuse to avoid things. Yeah it sucks and it's caused my life to essentially go off the rails a bit, but bringing my life back on track is my job and if I keep telling myself I can't do things then I won't be able to do them. I want things to be easy for me, but nothing in my life has been easy so I have to make peace with that and keep moving forward.
I like writing in this journal because it keeps me accountable for my actions and following through on what I said I'd do. I know I won't succeed 100% of the time in not giving into the fear, but I'm going to do my best to not allow it to control me.
