Athena's Attracting Perfect Boyfriend Journal

[Shannon]

I learned something the hard way when dealing with attracting women, and I spend a lot of time teaching this same thing to guys who ask me for advice. Now I am going to share it with you, because it works equally well in both directions.

I used to have this thing where I was really picky. I mean I would shoot down every woman. And then I started realizing, it's not me being picky, it's me being afraid of being rejected. I was shooting them down for reasons that only made sense if that was true. And then I realized, I was trying to think for them and decide for them what they liked.

Of course everyone is individual and different, and you can't do that. So I had to stop myself and start asking, "Am I screening her out by trying to decide for her how attractive and worthwhile I am for her?"

When the answer was yes, I changed to disregarding the attempt to screen her out and allow her to make up her own mind instead.

Over time, I realized that while I didn't always find success with any woman I attempted to express interest to this way, for much the same reason - some people just aren't going to like me, and the way of the world! - I also found that a lot of women surprised me by responding with interest when I thought there could not possibly be any.

Guys frequently hide from their fears by shooting themselves down for the woman, without ever giving her a chance to see what she thinks.

Is it possible that you have done this to yourself?