Time for a 3 month point update:
The changes I'm seeing at this point are mostly internal or what I'm referring to as "inner life" changes, not so much "outer life" but I believe that these things tend start on the inside first and build a firm foundation for those tangible results. But I'm going to write about both:
Outer life:
On the surface of it NOT so good in some ways. My work crush left for 2 weeks in another country & when he returns I won't be there as I have another job. So THAT'S dead in the water! And a guy I liked from the past, I saw a video on his youtube channel I found that showed me he's NOT a guy I want to pursue anymore. It wasn't a country & western music video or anything like that
but something that showed me he's NOT boyfriend material.
So THAT kinda sucked, except for having that clarity, process of elimination.
Maybe I'm taking those things better than I normally would? Sure I DID feel a bit down about both those things, but I don't feel SO much like....OK, there's this theory of abundance some guys are taught to have with women. It's been really challenging for ME to have this with men as I'm very fussy. It's just the way I am. So in the past, when I liked someone especially if THEY were attracted back, they seemed almost like my only chance & I've tried incredibly hard to make it work with them. But this time I feel more like...OK, NEXT!
Not ENTIRELY like that. Because I WOULD have preferred things to work out with one of those guys who are "offline guys" - although I met video guy from online but I HAVE been on a date with him.
OK the other OUTER LIFE thing is yes, as Cashmere cat has also mentioned happening for her, guys are making eye contact with me again, I'm catching about 1-3 guys a day staring at me on the train most days.
And sometimes I remember to have better posture ha ha.
INNER LIFE: Well, see above about taking things not working out with those guys overall better than usual. But also, let me see now. The main thing I'm noticing is this:
I have an online journal but it's a private one that only I can see. Anyway I have several sections and I have one about my "man break" and anything I've experienced, learned and so on during this time out. (Yes, I COULD have broken it for either of those two guys but not allowed sex, online dating etc etc. contacting exes LOL! until April 24th.) Well, I've noticed a BIG difference in my journal entries in February and March.
In terms of the number of INSIGHTS I'm getting about how I want to do things differently when I DO get back out there.
Earlier on, all the way from April 24th 2015 till about the end of January, my entries are mostly about my feelings, any subs used etc. any enjoyable NON-dating experiences I've had, like some of the meetup group events I went to for e.g. But from about February and throughout March so far a LOT of my entries are ideas of what I can do differently, and hopefully BETTER and some reminders about things I already know.
So it's possible that the sub is helping me get ideas on how to be a better catch, how to come across as more of a "high value woman" and so on. And that's an insight I've had too.
Really seeing a pattern. I think I'm average-looking (yep I'm one of those women whose never her whole life felt pretty enough even though today I get told I'm beautiful more than in my 20s & I don't get why) but it's possible that the problem HASN'T been a lack of
"Hotness" like I have so often told myself it is, but instead a problem of
ineffective strategies & behaviours & I've also seen how much I sabotaged myself in the past with some guys.
Really seeing a pattern. Rather than seeing it as a few isolated incidences. But also getting ideas of what to improve and even how I want to make my new profile when I get back out there & I have it ready just not uploaded & copied & pasted on any site or app.
I think online I have experiencing a little bit of a difference, I feel like guys are being a little bit more romantic towards me instead of JUST sexual. This is an issue i had last time a LOT of sexual attraction from guys (NOT that I'm complaining about that but now that I want more than just sex I want to be getting more romantic attraction from them.) A softer energy. They will still flirt (not all of them, of course, but some of them. And some of them still ONLY flirt & act sexual but there is, I feel, creeping in there a bit of romantic "energy" there too.
It will be interesting to see what kind of guys I attract THIS time around when I DO end my self-imposed "man-break" and get out there on the dating things. Will I see that softer, more romantic energy there too and on my dates or will it be ignoring or very strong sexual energy only? Not sure as yet. Watch this space.
The changes I'm seeing at this point are mostly internal or what I'm referring to as "inner life" changes, not so much "outer life" but I believe that these things tend start on the inside first and build a firm foundation for those tangible results. But I'm going to write about both:
Outer life:
On the surface of it NOT so good in some ways. My work crush left for 2 weeks in another country & when he returns I won't be there as I have another job. So THAT'S dead in the water! And a guy I liked from the past, I saw a video on his youtube channel I found that showed me he's NOT a guy I want to pursue anymore. It wasn't a country & western music video or anything like that
but something that showed me he's NOT boyfriend material.So THAT kinda sucked, except for having that clarity, process of elimination.
Maybe I'm taking those things better than I normally would? Sure I DID feel a bit down about both those things, but I don't feel SO much like....OK, there's this theory of abundance some guys are taught to have with women. It's been really challenging for ME to have this with men as I'm very fussy. It's just the way I am. So in the past, when I liked someone especially if THEY were attracted back, they seemed almost like my only chance & I've tried incredibly hard to make it work with them. But this time I feel more like...OK, NEXT!
Not ENTIRELY like that. Because I WOULD have preferred things to work out with one of those guys who are "offline guys" - although I met video guy from online but I HAVE been on a date with him.
OK the other OUTER LIFE thing is yes, as Cashmere cat has also mentioned happening for her, guys are making eye contact with me again, I'm catching about 1-3 guys a day staring at me on the train most days.
And sometimes I remember to have better posture ha ha.
INNER LIFE: Well, see above about taking things not working out with those guys overall better than usual. But also, let me see now. The main thing I'm noticing is this:
I have an online journal but it's a private one that only I can see. Anyway I have several sections and I have one about my "man break" and anything I've experienced, learned and so on during this time out. (Yes, I COULD have broken it for either of those two guys but not allowed sex, online dating etc etc. contacting exes LOL! until April 24th.) Well, I've noticed a BIG difference in my journal entries in February and March.
In terms of the number of INSIGHTS I'm getting about how I want to do things differently when I DO get back out there.
Earlier on, all the way from April 24th 2015 till about the end of January, my entries are mostly about my feelings, any subs used etc. any enjoyable NON-dating experiences I've had, like some of the meetup group events I went to for e.g. But from about February and throughout March so far a LOT of my entries are ideas of what I can do differently, and hopefully BETTER and some reminders about things I already know.
So it's possible that the sub is helping me get ideas on how to be a better catch, how to come across as more of a "high value woman" and so on. And that's an insight I've had too.
Really seeing a pattern. I think I'm average-looking (yep I'm one of those women whose never her whole life felt pretty enough even though today I get told I'm beautiful more than in my 20s & I don't get why) but it's possible that the problem HASN'T been a lack of
"Hotness" like I have so often told myself it is, but instead a problem of
ineffective strategies & behaviours & I've also seen how much I sabotaged myself in the past with some guys.
Really seeing a pattern. Rather than seeing it as a few isolated incidences. But also getting ideas of what to improve and even how I want to make my new profile when I get back out there & I have it ready just not uploaded & copied & pasted on any site or app.
I think online I have experiencing a little bit of a difference, I feel like guys are being a little bit more romantic towards me instead of JUST sexual. This is an issue i had last time a LOT of sexual attraction from guys (NOT that I'm complaining about that but now that I want more than just sex I want to be getting more romantic attraction from them.) A softer energy. They will still flirt (not all of them, of course, but some of them. And some of them still ONLY flirt & act sexual but there is, I feel, creeping in there a bit of romantic "energy" there too.
It will be interesting to see what kind of guys I attract THIS time around when I DO end my self-imposed "man-break" and get out there on the dating things. Will I see that softer, more romantic energy there too and on my dates or will it be ignoring or very strong sexual energy only? Not sure as yet. Watch this space.
