day 69 ( 27 days remain + whatever is needed )
I decided to not listen to the sub last night to give my mind the time to process it. It feels as when I started listening to the subs. Im feeling very confident right now. The amount of hours I listened before was around 21 hours, which was probably to much. It did made me face with how much I am addicted to listening to the sub, and how much it has turned in some habit. The changes are clearly felt right now pleasantly. I have had glimpses of absolute confidence, with the focus on absolute. Wonder how deep it can even go. It felt absolute, doubtless and solid, transcendental and free.
I have an growing disdain inside. Its saying and realizing "i dont need you" and then all actions that said person may do ( ridiculing, disqualifying, disrespecting, playing tricks on me ) and I simply turn cold. I say "i dont need you" without further thinking but let it sink in and flower. Its an step towards my own personhood, self realisation and pre-selection. People do disqualify themselves and I live in abundance. It can border on abusive and harsh to be honest but I really dont care. It makes me arrogant aswell. Im getting aware of the games played by people and I simply dont put up anymore with it. Feels huge. Nothing to prove, no need for an comeback. Just cold, harsh, blow out. Indifference. Its less significant then it might be perceived as. Simply non-compatibel, which is utterly liberating. It breaks some barriers down. I dont need to prove myself whatsoever and people disqualify themselves. My attitude towards many people is negative yet indifferent. Indifference means change.
I experience at times still this crushing in my chest area when Im getting blow out. Its probably coming from an needy place but it can put me really off. The sub covers more and more.
Had an breakthrough yesterday in terms of vision. To succeed vision and confidence bordering on delusional is the only way to go. It was an reality shift in this. Allignment. Aspiring the highest and the throne. To take over the lead of an company. My vision is skyhigh, my aim beyond. Its setting me apart from people.
I no longer worry about certain topics. before I would get all anxious, but now its no longer there or replaced with confidence. Currently my confidence is again rising, growing, increaing and I feel highly confident. Its like the pieces fall together right now, an letting go like an balloon and letting the sub dominate.
My caring level is low. Im feeling not bothered at all. Im in my own bubble. I simply am.
Giving up on it all seems to turn me into an magnet aswell. The itn doesnt matter,. Abundance. Indifference. Stop looking, stop caring, stop giving an crap. Its no apathy, its utter freedom, which aswell is part of the sub and an theme for myself. Like, its an drop of everything, non resistance and seems to cause the sub to sink in deeper. Its ultimate joy and abundance.
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not." Tyler Durden
The sub is going strong and I feel euphoric in every way. Its hard to put in words, its flowing. Breakthrough. Domination yet so much more then that. Also, words like habit and such make my mind click and get off on it. Like life being re-written. Im ecstatic.
It brings out feelings to the surface that make me feel less confident but now this confidence is already stronger. There is still stuff to face inside and I get ocassional glimpses. I might supress without wanting to, block and deny. It eventually will all be dealt with, like neediness for example.
Edit: cutting back hours of listening seems to bring me aswell back in the breaking of boundaries holding me back and putting me in risk taking wherever i go. Im feeling incredibly confident at this point, the world is mine.
I decided to not listen to the sub last night to give my mind the time to process it. It feels as when I started listening to the subs. Im feeling very confident right now. The amount of hours I listened before was around 21 hours, which was probably to much. It did made me face with how much I am addicted to listening to the sub, and how much it has turned in some habit. The changes are clearly felt right now pleasantly. I have had glimpses of absolute confidence, with the focus on absolute. Wonder how deep it can even go. It felt absolute, doubtless and solid, transcendental and free.
I have an growing disdain inside. Its saying and realizing "i dont need you" and then all actions that said person may do ( ridiculing, disqualifying, disrespecting, playing tricks on me ) and I simply turn cold. I say "i dont need you" without further thinking but let it sink in and flower. Its an step towards my own personhood, self realisation and pre-selection. People do disqualify themselves and I live in abundance. It can border on abusive and harsh to be honest but I really dont care. It makes me arrogant aswell. Im getting aware of the games played by people and I simply dont put up anymore with it. Feels huge. Nothing to prove, no need for an comeback. Just cold, harsh, blow out. Indifference. Its less significant then it might be perceived as. Simply non-compatibel, which is utterly liberating. It breaks some barriers down. I dont need to prove myself whatsoever and people disqualify themselves. My attitude towards many people is negative yet indifferent. Indifference means change.
I experience at times still this crushing in my chest area when Im getting blow out. Its probably coming from an needy place but it can put me really off. The sub covers more and more.
Had an breakthrough yesterday in terms of vision. To succeed vision and confidence bordering on delusional is the only way to go. It was an reality shift in this. Allignment. Aspiring the highest and the throne. To take over the lead of an company. My vision is skyhigh, my aim beyond. Its setting me apart from people.
I no longer worry about certain topics. before I would get all anxious, but now its no longer there or replaced with confidence. Currently my confidence is again rising, growing, increaing and I feel highly confident. Its like the pieces fall together right now, an letting go like an balloon and letting the sub dominate.
My caring level is low. Im feeling not bothered at all. Im in my own bubble. I simply am.
Giving up on it all seems to turn me into an magnet aswell. The itn doesnt matter,. Abundance. Indifference. Stop looking, stop caring, stop giving an crap. Its no apathy, its utter freedom, which aswell is part of the sub and an theme for myself. Like, its an drop of everything, non resistance and seems to cause the sub to sink in deeper. Its ultimate joy and abundance.
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not." Tyler Durden
The sub is going strong and I feel euphoric in every way. Its hard to put in words, its flowing. Breakthrough. Domination yet so much more then that. Also, words like habit and such make my mind click and get off on it. Like life being re-written. Im ecstatic.
It brings out feelings to the surface that make me feel less confident but now this confidence is already stronger. There is still stuff to face inside and I get ocassional glimpses. I might supress without wanting to, block and deny. It eventually will all be dealt with, like neediness for example.
Edit: cutting back hours of listening seems to bring me aswell back in the breaking of boundaries holding me back and putting me in risk taking wherever i go. Im feeling incredibly confident at this point, the world is mine.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
