02-14-2016, 06:58 AM
A minor update. (By the way, at first I was thinking Oh I'm not going to write about every little thing! and don't worry I'm not! But after reading some of your journals, which I enjoyed reading!! I decided OK I'm going to share this.)
It's also about 3 and a half to 4 days after the 2 months mark anyway.
First of all, I'm not as bummed out about Valentine's Day as usual. I was a little bit, on Friday morning but I think I bounced back a little sooner.
I haven't felt that great about some other things in my life, but I'm not AS down about not being in a relationship.
So that's the first thing I wanted to share and the second one is about my evening last night. I went to a meetup group event I wanted to go to. A good looking Italian guy was one of the members there and it was funny in a way cos he was sitting quite close to me & all smiley and later on when he had to join a new group (cos it was groups of 4 & I arrived before him) throughout the event I noticed him staring at me A LOT. Like every time I happened to look in his direction he was already looking at me. What's ALSO nice about that is that at first I thought oh DAMN it he's gone to another group & oh he's probably going to end up with that blonde girl over there in the group. But then I sorta said you know what who cares. And I overheard them talk & he's only in the country for a week anyway. But even before that I sort of ended up shrugging it off & just getting into the game my group was playing.
When I bought my 2nd drink at the bar, the barman who served me for that one thanked me in Portuguese. No idea why, even if HE was Portuguese it seems odd. Maybe he thought I was Portuguese? Anyway, when I left the bar, that barman (and he was good looking and my type physically) stared, waved and smiled. Which was odd but nice!
And when I was looking at my phone trying to get directions, this guy asked if I needed help with directions. But when he gave me directions he was giving me the BIGGEST smile, the sort of excited wow she's kinda hot smile, I kid you not!
He wasn't so much my type but he was decent I guess and that was nice!
But also, I wasn't trying to impress anyone, you know? Like I wasn't TRYING to get the Italian guy's eye or trying to DO or say anything to stand out & I was like OK these things are awesome but I wasn't trying too hard. So I think sub might be helping with that. Helping me put these things into perspective.
Nothing's happened with the guy at work & I'm starting to think it is only on my side but while at first I was bummed about that, can't deny it, after a couple of days I've kinda shrugged THAT off too.
So I think those are the main changes at the moment. That yes I do still want a boyfriend who's my type & it WORKS very much do I still want that but I'm putting it into perspective a lot more.
Plus re guy at work I was like you know what I'm not going to be all look at me. I'm SICK of being a bit like that at times. I even left the staff room rather than hang around hopefully. I'm more like yes I DO like him but if it happens it happens.
After a year off men and online dating, although I HAVE been open to a date with an offline guy but that hasn't happened and i allowed myself to go to this predominantly male chatroom & chat to the guys (but told them about the man break etc & turned down any offers) I will probably be going back to it in late April. Be interesting to see what happens then.
The only other things, actually, is a handful of guys staring at me on the train the last couple of days and also about a week ago, I was going to work and I moved a guy's bike - gently - so I could get past it to get off the train. He said "Aw, You didn't need to do that, I would have happily moved it for you." and HE gave me a sort of beautiful and kinda flirty smile. He was rather cute too! So I guess that's my update.
My next one will probably not be until, well...April the 10th is the 4 month mark, but it's more likely to be a little after the 24th of April, when my self-imposed online-dating-&-no-contacting-guys-from-the-past man-break officially ends & I go back & give online dating another go (with some serious inner work changes in my behaviour!)
It's also about 3 and a half to 4 days after the 2 months mark anyway.
First of all, I'm not as bummed out about Valentine's Day as usual. I was a little bit, on Friday morning but I think I bounced back a little sooner.
I haven't felt that great about some other things in my life, but I'm not AS down about not being in a relationship.
So that's the first thing I wanted to share and the second one is about my evening last night. I went to a meetup group event I wanted to go to. A good looking Italian guy was one of the members there and it was funny in a way cos he was sitting quite close to me & all smiley and later on when he had to join a new group (cos it was groups of 4 & I arrived before him) throughout the event I noticed him staring at me A LOT. Like every time I happened to look in his direction he was already looking at me. What's ALSO nice about that is that at first I thought oh DAMN it he's gone to another group & oh he's probably going to end up with that blonde girl over there in the group. But then I sorta said you know what who cares. And I overheard them talk & he's only in the country for a week anyway. But even before that I sort of ended up shrugging it off & just getting into the game my group was playing.
When I bought my 2nd drink at the bar, the barman who served me for that one thanked me in Portuguese. No idea why, even if HE was Portuguese it seems odd. Maybe he thought I was Portuguese? Anyway, when I left the bar, that barman (and he was good looking and my type physically) stared, waved and smiled. Which was odd but nice!
And when I was looking at my phone trying to get directions, this guy asked if I needed help with directions. But when he gave me directions he was giving me the BIGGEST smile, the sort of excited wow she's kinda hot smile, I kid you not!
He wasn't so much my type but he was decent I guess and that was nice!
But also, I wasn't trying to impress anyone, you know? Like I wasn't TRYING to get the Italian guy's eye or trying to DO or say anything to stand out & I was like OK these things are awesome but I wasn't trying too hard. So I think sub might be helping with that. Helping me put these things into perspective.
Nothing's happened with the guy at work & I'm starting to think it is only on my side but while at first I was bummed about that, can't deny it, after a couple of days I've kinda shrugged THAT off too.
So I think those are the main changes at the moment. That yes I do still want a boyfriend who's my type & it WORKS very much do I still want that but I'm putting it into perspective a lot more.
Plus re guy at work I was like you know what I'm not going to be all look at me. I'm SICK of being a bit like that at times. I even left the staff room rather than hang around hopefully. I'm more like yes I DO like him but if it happens it happens.
After a year off men and online dating, although I HAVE been open to a date with an offline guy but that hasn't happened and i allowed myself to go to this predominantly male chatroom & chat to the guys (but told them about the man break etc & turned down any offers) I will probably be going back to it in late April. Be interesting to see what happens then.
The only other things, actually, is a handful of guys staring at me on the train the last couple of days and also about a week ago, I was going to work and I moved a guy's bike - gently - so I could get past it to get off the train. He said "Aw, You didn't need to do that, I would have happily moved it for you." and HE gave me a sort of beautiful and kinda flirty smile. He was rather cute too! So I guess that's my update.
My next one will probably not be until, well...April the 10th is the 4 month mark, but it's more likely to be a little after the 24th of April, when my self-imposed online-dating-&-no-contacting-guys-from-the-past man-break officially ends & I go back & give online dating another go (with some serious inner work changes in my behaviour!)
