Ricardo's - AM 6 Journal [FINISHED]

[in3deep]

@in3deep Yes I've got decisions to make. I don't know how old you are but when I was in my teens and twenties something like WM would have been great. As I got into my thirties I really wanted to get married and settle down but my dating efforts didn't find anyone. Most of my friends had married about this time but now many years on they have changed and find their partners (and other way around) are no longer what they want and are unhappy in their marriages and some are divorced. I've learnt that people carry on changing as they get older so committing to one person for life suggests a huge risk of later unhappiness

I'm 30 now man

Hmm I guess people are always changing no matter which stage of your life... Even after someone finishes am/WM/sm they will still changes due to other stuff going on with their life

So I guess there's never an optimal time to find a perfect mate caus ppl will never be stagnant... So I guess the question is so you want to find a LTR now or later?

[JackOfHearts]

Stage 4 day 12

My sex drive is generally higher and I have confidence, coolness and no negativity about myself, no porn, no fap (no problem!).
I've come to see that my current home environment is very restrictive and I need to move out to experience life more. I have lived in the same area all my life but I saw it for what it was just last week in that it's full of people who irritate and depress me. Most of the men are lazy and the women no better than tramps. There are some nice ones around but too few for my liking. WM is going to struggle for me here I'm sure. My only escape is that I work in the city so I should stand a chance of some women at least
I am also looking at ways to increase my finances and have opened up a couple of long term savings plans for starters but also looking at ways to earn money off the internet. I had some success with affiliate schemes in the early days but it's a completely different ball game now.

I have noticed that people are very friendly towards me and keep going to do the touch thing then
pulling back. Some people also seem slightly fearful of me which is strange because even now I'm always pleasant to people.

Some resistance coming through as sudden nerves and periods of heaviness in my
chest and stomach (similar to overeating) but these don't last long. However I freaked out when I read somewhere that my speakers were only up to 18Khz and my mind really played on it like I've wasted my time and it's all been a huge placebo!

The speakers in question are Logitech z200 that logitech quote as 80-20khz so
i'm guessing the error was a misprint. They pass the speaker test and are silent when playing subs but it really depressed me. Even now I'm toying with the idea of getting higher frequency speakers..any suggestions??

Going back to what I said earlier about my living environment being small and full of people I don't particularly like, has led to me considering the MYPSL 5G as I would love to have someone that's perfect for me and I can trust. My standards are very high with women now so really an AYP sub is looking more sensible than WM after AM. But of course AYP's are however long they take but WM is 6 months..what do I do??

guess you gotta see whats your priority?

do u wanna have different girls to bang each day of the week being non-committal or do you wish to settle down n have a LTR?

myself i decided on AYPW as even though as attractive it is to have the possibility of banging various girls... i dun wanna spend the next 2 years of so living that kind of life... guess i have decided to find someone to settle down with mainly due to age.. if i was 3-5 years younger, it would be AM/WM no doubt... but now its AYP for me

You can still use WM and you choose the best girl you find among the girls that will be following you.

WM2 product description:
"For those who choose to be monogamous, it triggers gratitude in being with just the woman you choose, and allows you to be happy with and enjoy being with just her."

With WM2 you can do what ever you want to do with girls even relationship without sex (would be stupid but possible).

[Ricardo]

Stage 4 day 12

My sex drive is generally higher and I have confidence, coolness and no negativity about myself, no porn, no fap (no problem!).
I've come to see that my current home environment is very restrictive and I need to move out to experience life more. I have lived in the same area all my life but I saw it for what it was just last week in that it's full of people who irritate and depress me. Most of the men are lazy and the women no better than tramps. There are some nice ones around but too few for my liking. WM is going to struggle for me here I'm sure. My only escape is that I work in the city so I should stand a chance of some women at least
I am also looking at ways to increase my finances and have opened up a couple of long term savings plans for starters but also looking at ways to earn money off the internet. I had some success with affiliate schemes in the early days but it's a completely different ball game now.

I have noticed that people are very friendly towards me and keep going to do the touch thing then
pulling back. Some people also seem slightly fearful of me which is strange because even now I'm always pleasant to people.

Some resistance coming through as sudden nerves and periods of heaviness in my
chest and stomach (similar to overeating) but these don't last long. However I freaked out when I read somewhere that my speakers were only up to 18Khz and my mind really played on it like I've wasted my time and it's all been a huge placebo!

The speakers in question are Logitech z200 that logitech quote as 80-20khz so
i'm guessing the error was a misprint. They pass the speaker test and are silent when playing subs but it really depressed me. Even now I'm toying with the idea of getting higher frequency speakers..any suggestions??

Going back to what I said earlier about my living environment being small and full of people I don't particularly like, has led to me considering the MYPSL 5G as I would love to have someone that's perfect for me and I can trust. My standards are very high with women now so really an AYP sub is looking more sensible than WM after AM. But of course AYP's are however long they take but WM is 6 months..what do I do??

guess you gotta see whats your priority?

do u wanna have different girls to bang each day of the week being non-committal or do you wish to settle down n have a LTR?

myself i decided on AYPW as even though as attractive it is to have the possibility of banging various girls... i dun wanna spend the next 2 years of so living that kind of life... guess i have decided to find someone to settle down with mainly due to age.. if i was 3-5 years younger, it would be AM/WM no doubt... but now its AYP for me

You can still use WM and you choose the best girl you find among the girls that will be following you.

WM2 product description:
"For those who choose to be monogamous, it triggers gratitude in being with just the woman you choose, and allows you to be happy with and enjoy being with just her."

With WM2 you can do what ever you want to do with girls even relationship without sex (would be stupid but possible).

Yes I read that description and maybe by casting my net wide with WM I'll bag a nice babe rather than focusing on a perfection who may not even exist for me..thanks for that

[Ricardo]

Stage 4 Day 24

Although I am nearly finished with stage 4 I do have some things to journal about
now.

1. I have had some quite extreme bouts of paranoia and fear of the future. It's a
case of the slightest thing that my mind seems to grab hold of and twist to
something far greater than it actually is. A good example was the speakers
incident I mentioned earlier. My paranoia also took the form of believing people
were out to get me, people hated me because I wasn't my old shy weak self that
they could push around as they felt like.
I also starting checking things in my home before I left for work. I was
convinced that the place was going to catch fire even though it's only the fridge
I leave powered on. I had to check everything multiple times before I could leave
to go to work.
During the speaker paranoia I became very depressed and unhappy (quiet) because I thought I had been wasting my time so far and that if I couldn't listen to the ultrasonic tracks for the most part then I couldn't do these subs and therefore
my life was never going to be what I hoped. Anyway I got over that by blasting
the ultrasonic out of a those speakers at a huge volume ~-5dB roughly and there
was no crackles or voices or anything to indicate the speakers couldn't cope.

2. Sex drive is high again. The same intense feelings I had in stage 1 are
bothering me now. I have developed a huge appreciation of the female form and I'm
sure the next time I have sex it wil be explosive...for me anyways. I strongly
recommend for anyone thinking of doing AM to have at least a sex partner because
your desires will be going all over the place!

3. People are becoming more friendly to me especially the ladies. They tend to
gaze at me when I'm speaking to them. I've also caught women doing this to me on
several occasions on the train. One woman I work with actually lightly held my
arm as I was talking to her (no she doesn't interest me).

Another development is the threatening looks from some blokes have started again
and I think even some gay interest from younger blokes..can't be sure on that but
not something I've ever noticed before so it's worth mentioning.

BTW I'm getting really excited about doing WM because I think that my sexy nerdy
receptionist will be netted as she's beautiful AND single but unfortunately there's a 20yr age gap... so a miracle is probably needed to have sex with her I keep being nice and flirty with her just to keep myself in her mind. She has this really posh sexy tone about her when she talks that I just love.

I probably won't update until around mid December which by then I will be well
into Stage 5 but if there are any important developments then I will give a quick
update.

Please feel free to comment

[SargeMaximus]

BTW I'm getting really excited about doing WM because I think that my sexy nerdy
receptionist will be netted as she's beautiful AND single but unfortunately there's a 20yr age gap... so a miracle is probably needed to have sex with her

Why would that be? Black dragon is in his 40's and has regular sex with 18/19 year olds.

[Darkness]

Stage 4 Day 24

Although I am nearly finished with stage 4 I do have some things to journal about
now.

1. I have had some quite extreme bouts of paranoia and fear of the future. It's a
case of the slightest thing that my mind seems to grab hold of and twist to
something far greater than it actually is. A good example was the speakers
incident I mentioned earlier. My paranoia also took the form of believing people
were out to get me, people hated me because I wasn't my old shy weak self that
they could push around as they felt like.
I also starting checking things in my home before I left for work. I was
convinced that the place was going to catch fire even though it's only the fridge
I leave powered on. I had to check everything multiple times before I could leave
to go to work.
During the speaker paranoia I became very depressed and unhappy (quiet) because I thought I had been wasting my time so far and that if I couldn't listen to the ultrasonic tracks for the most part then I couldn't do these subs and therefore
my life was never going to be what I hoped. Anyway I got over that by blasting
the ultrasonic out of a those speakers at a huge volume ~-5dB roughly and there
was no crackles or voices or anything to indicate the speakers couldn't cope.

2. Sex drive is high again. The same intense feelings I had in stage 1 are
bothering me now. I have developed a huge appreciation of the female form and I'm
sure the next time I have sex it wil be explosive...for me anyways. I strongly
recommend for anyone thinking of doing AM to have at least a sex partner because
your desires will be going all over the place!

3. People are becoming more friendly to me especially the ladies. They tend to
gaze at me when I'm speaking to them. I've also caught women doing this to me on
several occasions on the train. One woman I work with actually lightly held my
arm as I was talking to her (no she doesn't interest me).

Another development is the threatening looks from some blokes have started again
and I think even some gay interest from younger blokes..can't be sure on that but
not something I've ever noticed before so it's worth mentioning.

BTW I'm getting really excited about doing WM because I think that my sexy nerdy
receptionist will be netted as she's beautiful AND single but unfortunately there's a 20yr age gap... so a miracle is probably needed to have sex with her I keep being nice and flirty with her just to keep myself in her mind. She has this really posh sexy tone about her when she talks that I just love.

I probably won't update until around mid December which by then I will be well
into Stage 5 but if there are any important developments then I will give a quick
update.

Please feel free to comment

And the miracle is yo dick in her mouth.. . Your welcome <---teehee

[TheGraduate]

Your comment on the younger receptionist - there's no miracle man. I've dated plenty of women with that age gap. You are coming from a big place of lack.

You can do it and if you believe you can then you will. It is that simple. Not sure if AM6 takes care of that - doesn't seem like it does - but who knows.

I started dating younger (and very good looking ones) women after I did affirmations. The subs haven't done anything for me in the way of women but they have helped in some other ways. I've done AM5, am doing AM6 (stage 5) I've already done SM3 (did literally nothing for me). But as I said, I had already dated multiple much younger very very attractive women and it all came from affs. And I wasn't a provider to them AT ALL. It was all pure sexual attraction. In fact most of the time they bought me dinner.

[TheGraduate]

BTW I'm getting really excited about doing WM because I think that my sexy nerdy
receptionist will be netted as she's beautiful AND single but unfortunately there's a 20yr age gap... so a miracle is probably needed to have sex with her

Why would that be? Black dragon is in his 40's and has regular sex with 18/19 year olds.

Who is this Black Dragon? The only other person I know who has ever done what you are saying he does it me. I'd love to meet someone else who can do what I do.

[SargeMaximus]

Who is this Black Dragon? The only other person I know who has ever done what you are saying he does it me. I'd love to meet someone else who can do what I do.

He's a male role model I use. Look him up on google.

[Ricardo]

BTW I'm getting really excited about doing WM because I think that my sexy nerdy
receptionist will be netted as she's beautiful AND single but unfortunately there's a 20yr age gap... so a miracle is probably needed to have sex with her

Why would that be? Black dragon is in his 40's and has regular sex with 18/19 year olds.

It's difficult when you have to work with people and I would rather enjoy the flirty banter we have than have her try and avoid me because I hit on her and she turned me down. In work situations you need to be absolutely sure of the woman's intent or preferably let her come onto you.

[Ricardo]

And the miracle is yo dick in her mouth.. . Your welcome <---teehee
[/quote]

Sounds great

[Ricardo]

Your comment on the younger receptionist - there's no miracle man. I've dated plenty of women with that age gap. You are coming from a big place of lack.

You can do it and if you believe you can then you will. It is that simple. Not sure if AM6 takes care of that - doesn't seem like it does - but who knows.

I started dating younger (and very good looking ones) women after I did affirmations. The subs haven't done anything for me in the way of women but they have helped in some other ways. I've done AM5, am doing AM6 (stage 5) I've already done SM3 (did literally nothing for me). But as I said, I had already dated multiple much younger very very attractive women and it all came from affs. And I wasn't a provider to them AT ALL. It was all pure sexual attraction. In fact most of the time they bought me dinner.

It sounds like you already have the qualities that SM is supposed to give guys to have that sort of lifestyle. I'm not convinced about SM anyway but it may be that it just strengthened subconsciously what you already have. I've always had women of similar age and felt uncomfortable if I saw younger women with much older men. So yes you're right I do come from a big place of lack which is why I need the help of these subs.
Anyways I do have other women in mind that I would like to have so if the receptionist girl proves a failure then it's not the end of the world.

[Darkness]

And the miracle is yo dick in her mouth.. . Your welcome <---teehee

Sounds great
[/quote]
Sounds better in person

[Ricardo]

Stage 5 Day 20

Towards the end of stage 4 and so far in stage 5 I have become very relaxed and easy going, confident, flirty and with a real sense of not caring about what other people think. I really enjoy being me and going about things in my own way and time. I have developed a real warm personality and find communicating with people very much easier.

I can maintain eye contact, turn conversations about so people open up to me more and come away sensing I've made a very positive impression. People greet me with a smile now! The main theme so far though has been the higher sex drive and easy erections

The downside is that I'm really feeling the need to better myself in the world and have more respect and money. My salary isn't bad but I have to work so hard for it and I'm starting to really resent it. At my age I should have more choice and leisure time and I have neither I am exploring various online money businesses and applying for promotional or more local jobs to save on travel costs.

I still have the odd fear spell that is very strong and makes me want to just hide away from everything and everyone and there is some anxiety about making progress with the sub but it doesn't last long now but I plough through and it soon goes leaving a wonderful positive change. My dreams have become more vivid. One that I did remember however was this woman in a restaurant (I think she was a kitchen hand) commented that I had this lovely brightness about me which she found so beautiful!

Looking back to my first entry in this journal I find it hard to identify with that person anymore. I've moved on so much internally and my outlook on life is sooo much more positive than it was. I have eliminated all the negative self talk, self hating, age hang up crap and the all round negative "delusions" that I suffered from. It's also a great testament to the Naturaliser how easily and naturally these changes have come about. I am so much more confident and assertive than I have ever been in my life and this is attracting a lot of positive vibes to me from people I interact with.
It's been a feature of AM that the harder the resistance proves the greater is the change that comes after the resistance subsides.
Another positive aspect is my sex drive is much higher but controllable. In stage one I had a manic period of very high sexual desire which has balanced out to be a general attribute rather than this "omg I need sex badly" thing. As a side effect the blood flow to the "Captain" has increased generally and leaves me with the ability to get easy potent erections. I also believe I had a subconscious fear of sex that I would actively avoid it! (omg)
I can also include my appetite for junk food when that went down in stage 1. It eased off and I found myself going back to bad habits but since stage 5 the desire to eat crap has been hit hard and I no longer even feel tempted to buy the stuff in the first place. My appetite seems to have shrunk because I've had enough after a meal and don't want to chomp away on cakes and bicuits like I used to.

Stage 1 brought a lot of quick positive changes which may have been due to its 'clearing out' or 'normalising' role. I remember that when I was much younger (schoolboy / teenager) I used to be very cheeky and outspoken and often ended up getting beaten up or threatened with violence. After this I went the opposite way and became scared of people in general and gave them sooo much credit and status that I was always (in my mind anyway) a lesser being who should listen to everyone else and not try to do anything for myself without taking advice. Stage 1 definately shifted that mindeset and the rest of the stages have dissolved it away more and more but have tempered the initial zeal with which I suffered with the outspokeness in those early years! This was why stage 1 had such an effect on me because it lifted a lot of blocks.

I've also noticed that since October I have taken loads of selfies in various poses for some reason?

In January I will be starting Stage 6 and then WM in February. Although I earlier debated about whether to do WM or an AYP I've decided that the additional qualities in WM are something I really would like and need then I can do the AYP. I will do WM for the 6 months then perhaps a few months of NSFM followed by another run of AM late next year.

I might just finish AM and update at the end unless something extraordinary happens!

Feel free to comment