SM v3 so far so good

[K-Train]

Here's the thing Sarge, when you encounter a hot/fairly attractive woman you have to understand that a lot of dudes who are NOT like you will do a whole lot of sh!t just to be around that woman. I say that because I was there myself. You probably wouldn't indulge them in that stuff but then again, how many dudes do you know other than the ones on this forum and yourself that have ran through the Alpha Set, and have taken steps to become MEN? Not very many I'd wager.

A lot of the men here on the planet and especially here in America are to blame for a lot of this sh!t as well. Think about it, if you were a woman, and dudes were willing to sacrifice time, energy, and in some cases money just to be around you, date, or have sex with you (or entertain the possibility of having sex with you) it would be mighty tempting to not use them wouldn't it?

Do all attractive women (or even men for that matter) have issues? No, of course not. There are women who are very attractive, don't indulge in head games, and have there sh!t together. The problem is that there a lot that do engage in head games, and have some sort of issues and those are the ones you hear about most often (case in point right here in this thread).

AfzalG did something most guys don't/couldn't do and that was he told someone that he was to some degree attracted to NO when she tried to flip the script and get him to play in her sandbox. Props to him for that. I'm in a situation myself that would have benefited from me saying "NO" sooner but live and learn. Point is, he could have bent to her demands and ended up a beta but he stood his ground.

@Mz Gem: I do think AfzalG is responsible to some degree because with the background information he possessed he would have been better off not going anywhere near her but hindsight is 20-20. Plus, the woman (from what I'm hearing) is attractive. That doesn't excuse anything but I can certainly understand why he made the decision. And let's not forget however that SHE was the one who flipped the script and changed her mind after SHE propositioned HIM for no strings attached sex.

[SargeMaximus]

@ Shannon: It is, of course, good to keep such things in mind, but the keeping of it in mind should not be a cause for discouragement, which is what I sensed from your post. If this guy wanted to f*ck the girl or, even, have a relationship with her, but shies away simply because he's afraid of something, in my opinion (unless there is a real threat to his physical safety), "words of caution" (aka "scare tactics" imo) are hardly helpful.

@ K-Train: My experience has been to simply be myself and they often conform. I had a girl recognize me a week after I approached her as I'm sure I mentioned before. My way of thinking is to realize most people are acting out of insecurity and fear, and that they will "reject" me or act weird simply because they are playing the role they usually play. However, if I stay true to myself, I know she's doing a double take when I leave and, as I've seen time and time again, they often try to get with me after realizing their "mistake".

Most people are children, treat them as such.

[Cozy]

Just because there's a chance she'll try to f*ck you over, doesn't mean you give up.

Lol, you're crazy sarge.

[FluffyBunny]

sarge has a point ... not entirely wrong or right .

AfzlG shoulda listen to Shannon from the start.... either u are going in or out pick one ..and stay true to it. Its getting confusing because he didnt set the thing straight from the start.

Also Sarge i dont think AfzlG would be able to handle her... just from reading all the things she has been through she probly knows her manipulations skills pretty well so by the end of it ... hes gonna get mindfuck and who knows what else lol....

[Benjamin]

Just because there's a chance she'll try to f*ck you over, doesn't mean you give up.

If it's just a fear that you generally have around girls then I agree.

But if there is real evidence for it like with this girl.. then I strongly disagree with that and think it's a good time to get away from her.

[LifeLabs]

I had a girl recognize me a week after I approached her as I'm sure I mentioned before. My way of thinking is to realize most people are acting out of insecurity and fear, and that they will "reject" me or act weird simply because they are playing the role they usually play. However, if I stay true to myself, I know she's doing a double take when I leave and, as I've seen time and time again, they often try to get with me after realizing their "mistake".

What do you mean, she recognized you after a week?

[FluffyBunny]

As in it takes time for her to open up to Sarge in a week.
Means at first she thought of Sarge as someone she would not be interested at all
After a week .... That week she probly checked Sarge out a lot and read his behaviour .... then came to the conclusion that Sarge is infact attractive....

Girl sometimes needs to take time to realized things too you know? like warming her up.
They arent like Players or anything .... just girls . Well there are some player girls... and man u dont wanna meet one of those .

[stratos]

She has a crush on him and is using her feminine wiles. Don't underestimate women's seductive intent any more than men's..

[SargeMaximus]

No.

What happened was, I met this girl on the opposite end of the city (since I like to randomly change where I do things).

She was eating out of my hand but I left because I didn't want anything "bad" to happen (rejection, not knowing what to do, etc).

I bragged to my cousin about her and stuff so she was on my mind but I never thought I'd see her in my side of the city.

One day the next week (or maybe more to be honest, it was a long time later), I was out in my side doing some shopping/approaching girls. I entered a store and approached a group of girls. She was one of them. I didn't even know it was her at first. Anyhow, her jaw hit the floor, and I noticed her, when I did, she ran over to me, smiling and yelling "YOU! Do you KNOW what you DID to me??" then proceeded to tell her GF's all about my interaction with her.

I was in "approaching women mode" and so nothing became of it, which is one of the reasons I'm trying to "get real" with myself and start approaching women with the intent of hooking up rather than just to practice talking to them.

[MasterEnki]

I think that some fear is great to have.

Being a bit scared of a wild tiger / group of tigers is a good thing.

Someone who is fearless, may approach the tiger(s) and get severely hurt and / or killed.


Courage is awesome, but wisdom is useful too.

Some of histories best men have been killed / had untimely deaths due to their lack of wisdom!!


Personally, I would stay the hell away from her!!


To share one of my main 'manipulative chick' stories:

I had a supervisor about 18 months ago (I work for a charity that helps people with 'intellectual disabilities') - who was 41 years old - talk about how 'supportive' I am, mess her hair up when we were alone, and say thinks like:
- "Catch me when I fall down the stairs"
- "When you get your hair cut, you go for blonde hairdressers right?" (she was blonde, she wasn't a hairdresser though)
- "Are you going to get any work done today, or just stare at my ass"

After almost a month of this, I suggested to her that we have lunch together some time.

She complained to the Team Manager that I was sexually harassing her, and I got a warning.

I told her that I was going to take it further,and she said "I don't want you to tell anyone else. It has been resolved by the Team Manager."

She also said that if I ever have / had a girlfriend, I would lose my job.

I took it to Human Resources, and won.

She was no longer my supervisor from then on. But I still work with her, though not directly anymore.

She tends to ignore me. Which in hindsight is probably the best thing.


In the end, I used this situation to motivate me to be more compassionate, and try to be more patient and understanding of those who attack me / do evil.

It seems the best is to be compassionate towards, but also stay away from dangerous, manipulative people and avoid them whenever possible.

[AfzalG]

fluffy how do you know if i wouldnt be able to handle her ? all of my girlfriends were this kind of crazy and broken ... so please dont decide what i could or couldnt do you dont know my past ...
2 years ago a group of 5 women tried to play such a complicated and dirty game on me (even kidnapping was involved) at the end the police ended it... i won but what did i got from it? it was a victory with no glory... i lost 2 years of my life consumed tons of drugs ? and this is only one case... i can tell you i am experienced enough with these situations ... i dont know what it means to be loved and to have a good women... in fact shannon is right when he says the most of them are fucked up...

and yeah sarge if someone likes this kind of challenge and risk he could go for but i had enough... why should i waste my time with her ... it is pretty naive to think that no women can do any damage to you ... it is what the sub tells you but it doesnt mean that it is a fact... greater men then we are fell because of women... (vanilla sky; troy... as movie examples...)

and yes it is easy for you guys to tell me like master yoda : "do or dont do there is nor trying"
but the truth is i know her for only for 3 months in this 3 months we spoke like few words only (of course before this started with her offer)... things i told you is what i heard from others i wanted to see for myself what kind of person she is ... thats why i asked for the blowi ...she showed her ugly face to early so its easy for me to reject her ... as far as i know sm is designed to help you easily recognize and reject women who want to manipulate you with sex...

ok because i ignored her messages she wrote me today that she thought that my heart was softer .. i replied "my heart is soft, but my balls are out of stone as if I were a statue" lol


however i met another 18 year old yesterday... she seems to be nice... she is the 5. girl this week that calls me darling or angel for no reason lol...


@Shannon great analysis... you should write a book about women ... like i said i live in germany and i think it isnt very different than in us ... there is even a new law here where a women can accuse you for raping her if she didnt like the sex with you lol

[SargeMaximus]

and yeah sarge if someone likes this kind of challenge and risk he could go for but i had enough... why should i waste my time with her ... it is pretty naive to think that no women can do any damage to you ... it is what the sub tells you but it doesnt mean that it is a fact... greater men then we are fell because of women... (vanilla sky; troy... as movie examples...)

Movies are works of fiction my friend.

I feel you, and perhaps I'll come to agree if I ever come to that. BUT, to me, it's as simple as not tolerating it. She gets weird? Take her home and ignore her a few days. You noticed she tries to get a response out of you I hope. Use that. Just like women manipulate men with sex, you can manipulate women with attention. They crave it. Use her need for it. You have nothing to prove, so don't even try to do so. She's in your reality as long as she's in contact with you. Why even explain yourself?

[AfzalG]

and yeah sarge if someone likes this kind of challenge and risk he could go for but i had enough... why should i waste my time with her ... it is pretty naive to think that no women can do any damage to you ... it is what the sub tells you but it doesnt mean that it is a fact... greater men then we are fell because of women... (vanilla sky; troy... as movie examples...)

Movies are works of fiction my friend.

I feel you, and perhaps I'll come to agree if I ever come to that. BUT, to me, it's as simple as not tolerating it. She gets weird? Take her home and ignore her a few days. You noticed she tries to get a response out of you I hope. Use that. Just like women manipulate men with sex, you can manipulate women with attention. They crave it. Use her need for it. You have nothing to prove, so don't even try to do so. She's in your reality as long as she's in contact with you. Why even explain yourself?

but they are based on true stories...


but i like the second part of your post ... i will think about it....

ps: how many times did you run through am?

[K-Train]

@ Shannon: It is, of course, good to keep such things in mind, but the keeping of it in mind should not be a cause for discouragement, which is what I sensed from your post. If this guy wanted to f*ck the girl or, even, have a relationship with her, but shies away simply because he's afraid of something, in my opinion (unless there is a real threat to his physical safety), "words of caution" (aka "scare tactics" imo) are hardly helpful.

@ K-Train: My experience has been to simply be myself and they often conform. I had a girl recognize me a week after I approached her as I'm sure I mentioned before. My way of thinking is to realize most people are acting out of insecurity and fear, and that they will "reject" me or act weird simply because they are playing the role they usually play. However, if I stay true to myself, I know she's doing a double take when I leave and, as I've seen time and time again, they often try to get with me after realizing their "mistake".

Most people are children, treat them as such.

One of the books I'm reading advocates a similar philosophy. Essentially, its saying have your own values and morals, state your interests to those who you are attracted to in a bold, honest, straightforward manner and then let them decide. So (to piggyback off Fluffybunny's comment) what happens is that initially some women may be taken aback by the high degree of honesty and might seem to be turned off by your persona but later on (if they had any real attraction/interest towards you) they come around.


@MasterEnki: damn bro that's some rough stuff. I'm glad everything came out all right because cases like that can go either way depending on the situation. When you hear the past history on some of these manipulative people it does make you feel somewhat empathetic because a lot of these people have had rough and tragic past experiences. Like you said though, once you manage to identify a dangerous/manipulative person...you gotta be on guard.

@Shannon: Since you've got a great deal of experience in this matter, I'm curious, do these type of women ever let up if the person in question is in close proximity? I know that distancing yourself is usually the way to go but what if AfzalG can't do that right now? I'm asking because I'm curious how he's suppose to deal with this chica if she's this insistent, this manipulative, and this close to him.

EDIT: Sorry AfzalG, didn't see your post. If she "though your heart was softer" she might have thought you were easy pickings. This is good and bad. Good, because she knows you have balls. Bad because you're a challenge to her now, and women with issues (as you know from your own experience) looooooove challenges like you. Absolutely love this shit. I say you watch what you say to her because you *might* need to save some of those messages just in case you have to take her to court or something and you don't want to incriminate yourself with her or have it appeared you "egged her on". My 2 cents. Sorry if I sound preachy and sh!t.