Path to Greatness - Journal

[Javier Gerardo]

Now I've read some advice that at my stage I should at least f**k low quality women just to get experience but I can't do it.

That's some weird as advice, dude. Where are you getting that from?

I was a virgin when I got married - and okay, I was a newbie at the hip-work, so to speak (excuse my frankness), but you can learn together. I think many girls don't mind a lack of sexual experience in the beginning, if you'll be practicing on each other a lot anyway.

Well that was good for you man. I wish you all the best in your married life.
When I was in my teens I kind of shy away from sexual opportunity. This is partly due to having a morality before that I will only have sex after marriage. This changed when I was 20-22 when I had a major depression and made me think of how my life had turned out. As such, I was out of work for two years, it fucked up my social life and self-esteem. I was basically a basement dweller all those time just clinging to my mom to support me.

I decided to turn my life upside down after that. I know I have made a huge progress as compared to my life before as I have posted here. Sexually I am very much liberated now and I can't anymore defend the idea of "having sex before marriage is a sin".

Back on topic, I learned that advice from seeking advice on other forums (some were PUA forums) and from some of the people I know.

Advice is like navel lint: everybody has some. In my opinion, sleeping with a low quality woman is like drinking really bad wine: you'll get some experience, but mostly you will be teaching yourself that wine tastes bad.

Just because you were shy in the past does not mean your current path is bad. Your past choices are in the past, and you cannot change them. While you've not taken action, you've also not been used by a soulkilled ***** to boost her ego and had your own soul burned as a consequence. Now you are in a position to continue being highly selective about who you pursue, and staying true to your standards.

Finally, AM5 includes some disinterest-in-pursuing-women programming to allow you space to focus on improving yourself, without the distractions implicit in chasing women. Don't worry about having high standards and not chasing right now. Just enjoy the path you're following, without worrying about the destination.

Actually my standards are not really that high compared to some men I know. I am not really a "boobs guy" so I don't care if she has big boobs or not. A cute or pretty face is kind of a must though.
Sadly I don't think I can start AM5 until next year because I still haven't had enough money saved up for it. Primarily because I am just helping my family now with our family business and I'm not getting enough money for it as compared to I am working. My previous employer fired me but it's okay and I didn't hold much grudge nor did it affected my self-esteem that much. I'm just always looking forward to a great future job or if I get a chance, establish my own business as well.

[Andrew]

Hi Javier,

Be careful to avoid religious terms like "Sin", we're serious about the blanket ban to religious terms and concepts. If the new, stricter rule is not clear enough let me know and I'll be happy to give a short list of terms to clarify. I enjoy reading your posts btw-

[K-Train]

Hi Javier,

Be careful to avoid religious terms like "Sin", we're serious about the blanket ban to religious terms and concepts. If the new, stricter rule is not clear enough let me know and I'll be happy to give a short list of terms to clarify. I enjoy reading your posts btw-

Actually Andrew I think displaying a short list of terms to avoid would be quite helpful to everyone. I mean what about words like "faith". That could go in a variety of different ways depending on how you flip it (faith in subliminals, faith in religion xyz, faith in yourself, etc.).

@Javier: sorry man but with so much going on in this thread I feel a little lost lol. What's the update on your usage of ASC 5G? Are you still running that or have/are you switching it out. Thanks.

[Sean]

Advice is like navel lint: everybody has some. In my opinion, sleeping with a low quality woman is like drinking really bad wine: you'll get some experience, but mostly you will be teaching yourself that wine tastes bad.

Just because you were shy in the past does not mean your current path is bad. Your past choices are in the past, and you cannot change them. While you've not taken action, you've also not been used by a soulkilled ***** to boost her ego and had your own soul burned as a consequence. Now you are in a position to continue being highly selective about who you pursue, and staying true to your standards.

Finally, AM5 includes some disinterest-in-pursuing-women programming to allow you space to focus on improving yourself, without the distractions implicit in chasing women. Don't worry about having high standards and not chasing right now. Just enjoy the path you're following, without worrying about the destination.

Actually my standards are not really that high compared to some men I know. I am not really a "boobs guy" so I don't care if she has big boobs or not. A cute or pretty face is kind of a must though.
Sadly I don't think I can start AM5 until next year because I still haven't had enough money saved up for it. Primarily because I am just helping my family now with our family business and I'm not getting enough money for it as compared to I am working. My previous employer fired me but it's okay and I didn't hold much grudge nor did it affected my self-esteem that much. I'm just always looking forward to a great future job or if I get a chance, establish my own business as well.

Standards are standards, whether physical or personality. Don't sleep with anyone below your standards.

[Javier Gerardo]

Sex is a very powerful thing. Most males don't understand that sex without the right conditions is potentially very self destructive. I think you should never sleep with a woman you don't have some sort of connection with. Sex for the sake of sex can be fun, but do it too often and you can end up causing yourself emotional damage. I do not recommend treating women as "usage toys" (unless they ask you to), or putting yourself through meaningless sex, especially the first dozen or so times. I had to hurt myself a lot to understand these things.

Looking it at the point of view of some of the guys I know, there are some cases wherein having some with some women have been quite damaging for them.
This is why some say that sex is really for mature individuals. Almost all people treat sex differently.

For me, the combination of porn and my first sexual encounters being with a woman who was not only a soulkilled woman who used sex as a pathological substitute for self-esteem, she was dating someone else who became a friend during the time I was sleeping with her, and we're still friends today, 22 years later.

Yeah, the nonphysical connections implicit in sex, having gone unrequited, stop being initiated. Which turns sex into a purely physical act, and prevents the intimacy that would normally be created through future sexual acts.

I'm making it a goal this months and so to cut down my porn viewing. I've been trying it for a time now but I'm still having problems. On a positive note I've been able to cut down or minimize my fapping when I watch them.

[Javier Gerardo]

Hi Javier,

Be careful to avoid religious terms like "Sin", we're serious about the blanket ban to religious terms and concepts. If the new, stricter rule is not clear enough let me know and I'll be happy to give a short list of terms to clarify. I enjoy reading your posts btw-

My bad bro. I'll be avoiding using it here or talking about such here.
Thanks for reading my post.

Actually Andrew I think displaying a short list of terms to avoid would be quite helpful to everyone. I mean what about words like "faith". That could go in a variety of different ways depending on how you flip it (faith in subliminals, faith in religion xyz, faith in yourself, etc.).

@Javier: sorry man but with so much going on in this thread I feel a little lost lol. What's the update on your usage of ASC 5G? Are you still running that or have/are you switching it out. Thanks.

Yes I'm still using it.

So far I've been listening to it daily for 60 or so days already. No more headaches or pain when listening to it as far as I know. There are still dreams but I can barely remember most if not all of them.

One big thing I've noticed is that I got more motivation to do things now. I've said this because for the past two months I've been out of job. Instead of using the computer and sleep all day like what I used to do when unemployed, I'm now helping at my parent's / family business. It isn't really a good thing financially but it helps me become busy.

There were times recently when I see myself talking myself down because I have no job and my uni / college friends are already having great careers coupled with lasting and fruitful relationships.
I, on the other hand, can't seem to keep an entry level job and still haven't had a single true romantic relationship with a girl. But at times like this when I feel down, I just let these "thoughts" past and they go away. I continue with my day and do things like working out, exercising, reading books, educating myself more, applying and looking for jobs and like I said helping in our family business. I remember Shannon already gave me a lecture here regarding comparing myself to others, I will always keep that in mind.

Last month I'm not sure if I also posted here that I am making it a goal to push myself to go out there socially and go outside my comfort zone. That means I will be trying to talk to others more and even to the point of approaching women I feel I have a strong connection with. I've been slacking off in this part but I hope on the coming days I am able to do this. I know my main goal today is to get a decent job and become independent financially but they aren't good excuses for me to stop doing what I want. I remember Cory Skyy have said that we should always put ourselves in alignment with what we want. Truthfully, I really want to go out on days that I only stayed at home. Now is the time to do this. I know I can so no more excuses.

[Tiesto]

Looks like you and I are going through something similar.

[Javier Gerardo]

Hmm...that is a good question. I would think that in order to listen to the full 90 days would require listening to the sub for a longer period overall. with the 3 days on 1 day off routine. I think the 1 1/2 days is when you've missed more than 3-4 days in a row otherwise it's just the addition of the days you missed at the end.

Still if you can handle it without being worn out then by all means do the full 90 days straight.

Lol...like in the scott pilgrim movie! Level up Dude!!! But truly, it doesn't hurt to look at it like practice...though in my mind that doesn't mean you need to sleep with low quality women. The practice I was referring to was flirting, interacting, and dating just so you feel comfortable in those situations with women so that ultimately it's no big deal to be out on a date with an attractive woman. So often we think that's it amazing that the attractive woman said yes to us that we attach a far more importance to it than it actually has and over-stress ourselves. When you've dated plenty of women, you give it the proper perspective and can then relax and just enjoy. All the guys I've seen on the forum and in life that have had massive success treat dating any particular woman as no big deal as they know their own value and know in a quiet, confident way that the woman is lucky to be out with them..not the other way around.

I'm still listening to it daily as I don't get the headaches and the feeling of being worn out like before. My sleep hours also haven't increased. In fact it kind of lessen like only 8 hours and I can already wake up. But this has more to do I think with me having, as I said more motivation and vitality for life. When I was depress I used to sleep for 10 hours or more per day.

I would like to treat dating women as no big deal too. But years of bad social conditioning and the idea that "You won't be happy until you find someone" or "You can't be happy if you're single" thinking is always getting at me. It's like I'm surrounded by a lot of people who have those ways of thinking. In some ways though I still hold firm on my stance of enjoying oneself as a single man and women are lucky to be with me.

Yes I've had many experiences recently in flirting, interacting and overall socializing with women. It just that in many ways I didn't pull the trigger or I didn't take risks too push myself outside my comfort zone. So oftentimes I just stayed as friends with these women.
Last week specifically I stayed over my lady friends house with her other lady friends. We flirted and had fun so it's a good practice even though not much happened aside from that. I should keep on being grateful for getting those kinds of situations and look at it positively always.
Now the challenge for me is to go out tonight but a big part of me just want to stay home. I hope I persuade myself to go out.

[Javier Gerardo]

Looks like you and I are going through something similar.

Cool. Could you explain our similarities?
Thanks!

[Tiesto]

Looks like you and I are going through something similar.

Cool. Could you explain our similarities?
Thanks!

Along the line of helping out in family's business even though it's not rewarding enough, also looking for a decent job, and becoming financially independent.

[Javier Gerardo]

Looks like you and I are going through something similar.

Cool. Could you explain our similarities?
Thanks!

Along the line of helping out in family's business even though it's not rewarding enough, also looking for a decent job, and becoming financially independent.

Haha cool. Add the fact that we registered in this forum only a month a part.
Actually it's not really a choice in my part. Instead of just using the computer and slacking off all day I'd rather use my time in helping my parents out.
My dream was to become an entrepreneur but a lot of things internally and externally have hindered me from becoming one.

Good luck to you man.

[Tiesto]

My dream was to become an entrepreneur but a lot of things internally and externally have hindered me from becoming one.

Well, that's another one of our similarities, lol!

All the best to you too.

[Javier Gerardo]

My dream was to become an entrepreneur but a lot of things internally and externally have hindered me from becoming one.

Well, that's another one of our similarities, lol!

All the best to you too.

Thanks! It's really amazing to see someone who is traveling the same path as me.

On a side note I did manage to went out yesterday. Well that's the positive side. On the other hand, I wasn't able to do much when I went out. I went first to a place full of bars and late night restaurants. I thought of sitting down and getting a drink but I had a lot of thoughts running in my head like "What if a friend of mine saw me drinking alone? He or she might think I'm a loser" so I decided to just transfer to another place.
Yeah, I should have gotten myself at least a bottle before I transfered But then again I was held motionless by me thinking of what others think of me. I really need to get passed that if I want to progress. I made excuses that time that the place is full of old folks and yuppies and I might feel out of place. I look really young for my age and nowadays I consider myself as still part of the college crowd lol. But it was no excuse.

Moving on upon arriving on the next place I went to, I notice that all the people are sitting down and no one was in the bar area of the club. So I felt again a familiar feeling that I haven't felt in a long time - my social anxiety. It's probably because I wasn't getting out daily as compared when I have a job. So I immediately left the club because all the attention will be put on me because I'm the only one there alone. Ahhh I want to get over this and be used to attention.

I ended the night by just eating at some fastfood and walking through the city.

Looking back at it I know I should have done way better than that. I know I'm making progress but I have experience a familiar feeling again. If this happened a year ago, I might have beat myself up for it. But now I just look at it positively that I have at least went out. Learn from my mistakes and go on right? As they say you are making progress when you are experiencing plateaus and failures.

For the record I'm on Day 66 of Absolute Self Confidence 5G.

[Shannon]

When I walk into a bar, I order a coke (or a coke and lime, if I want people to think I am drinking alcohol) or more frequently, I order an iced tea.

I also walk in alone 99% of the time, and I sit down at the bar and drink my iced tea and usually eat dinner. Alone.

And while I am doing so, I talk with the people around me and flirt with the bartenders and have a wonderful time.

Because I truly, genuinely don't give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks of me.

In fact, I would say that the perception that someone doing this is a loser actually stems from their own insecurities being pointed out by the confidence of the person doing it. Think about it. If I can walk into a bar and drink iced tea while everyone else is drinking beer and liquor, and I can eat dinner by myself and STILL have a great time talking to everyone around me and flirting... and you have to drink alcohol and be in a group to feel confident enough to go do something similar... isn't my confidence going to irk you, since you don't have enough to do the same?

And what's an average person in those shoes going to do? Not try to become more confident... oh, no. They try to tear down the more confident guy!

But here's the thing. Since I don't care what they think, I don't care what they say. Or do. I'm there to have a good time, talk with people and enjoy a nice dinner, not impress people or kiss butt. And as long as I enjoy myself talking to people and having a nice dinner, I have achieved my goal and nobody else's opinion warrants consideration or value.

So you can stop worrying about whether people will think you're a loser, because the Golden Rule of socializing states:

No matter what you look like, someone will think you're a 1, and someone will think you're a 10 and a whole bunch of people will think you're a 5. And the same goes for any other aspect of what other people think of you - some will think highly of you, some will think lowly of you, and most will not care.

The key to success is ironically to not care what they think, because caring what they think puts the cart before the horse. The vast majority of people are actually sheep. They want to be told what to think. So they look to YOU to see what they should think of you, and if you say, "Well what should I think of myself, based on your opinion?" in return, they're going to think you're a loser (because who asks a sheep to lead the shepherd?) or they're going to manipulate you into being their thrall ("Only losers do XYZ, so if you want me to hang with you, you'll do what I say is cool.")

Instead, what you need to do is think for yourself, pick what you want to think of yourself, and then stick to that, regardless of what other people think, and when you do that you'll see a very different response. Most people will take your cue and think of you what you think of yourself! And the rest will usually either just not care, or be jealous and try to (that's right!) tear you down.

In the end, nobody else's opinion of you matters, because you are your own man, and you decide what and who you are. Let the rest eat cake.

P.S. - Hunting in packs doesn't wok very well. I have found that it is always most effective to hunt alone.