whome: OF3

[whome]

Do you feel like there is any change at all so far?

No, I’m not sensing anything changing.

What’s going on is a mix of grief, self-hatred pain, and existential terror. I don’t know if those are three different things going on in me or three manifestations of the same thing, but I was hoping that OF would at least touch on the terror (that’s fear, right?). But since the session at the beginning of April that unleashed the pain, the grief/pain/terror has been moving around between a 3–6 (out of 10) intensity. AoL didn’t change anything during the 26 days I ran it, and so far OF3 hasn’t budged the terror, which is the one aspect that I’ve been watching for changes.

Tomorrow is day 14, which is a second day off, but I’m tempted to call that two weeks and then with the ASRB2 fiddling.

[Shannon]

Terror is extreme fear, yes. The solution for you with regards to the terror is going to get enough exposure. The first step, if you're not seeing anything, is most likely going to be a max of 2 days off and an increase to 2 loops per day on, and then increasing the loops per day on by 1 per ASRB2 cycle until it breaks through.

[whome]

My current plan is to ratchet it up as per your earlier post, https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-whome...#pid245552

[whome]

Day 14

It’s two weeks. I have a choice tomorrow.

I can start with the escalation that Shannon wrote: First eliminate an off-day, then start adding loops to the on-days up to 3 total, then start adding on days.

Or.

Do you feel like there is any change at all so far?

I intellectually know that Shannon did not intend it like this, but my emotions read that reply as an indication of how broken I am, that the OF3 run isn’t having any effect on it.

And after reading that there’s been a part of me that wants to try the hybrid. No, it’s not the autoconfig thing, as this isn’t a craving or intuition. It’s the part of me that’s looking at my brokenness, seeing that the ultrasonic isn’t working, and feeling desperate to feel some kind of hope here.

I haven’t decided anything yet, and I’m probably going to wake up tomorrow and just keep on the official path, but there’s a part of me that wants to feel some effect, even if it is an over-powerful subliminal crushing me.

[Shannon]

Day 14

It’s two weeks. I have a choice tomorrow.

I can start with the escalation that Shannon wrote: First eliminate an off-day, then start adding loops to the on-days up to 3 total, then start adding on days.

Or.

Do you feel like there is any change at all so far?

I intellectually know that Shannon did not intend it like this, but my emotions read that reply as an indication of how broken I am, that the OF3 run isn’t having any effect on it.

And after reading that there’s been a part of me that wants to try the hybrid. No, it’s not the autoconfig thing, as this isn’t a craving or intuition. It’s the part of me that’s looking at my brokenness, seeing that the ultrasonic isn’t working, and feeling desperate to feel some kind of hope here.

I haven’t decided anything yet, and I’m probably going to wake up tomorrow and just keep on the official path, but there’s a part of me that wants to feel some effect, even if it is an over-powerful subliminal crushing me.

It's not time for the hybrid.  We don't know if that will even be functional yet.  It could be the subliminal equivalent of listening to white noise for all we know at this point.

Follow the prescribed escalation.

The key is to find the precise level of exposure you need to make progress.  Not too little, and not too much.  That's what I am looking for in the question I asked.  Have we made any progress, and if so, how much?

Remember, overload is just as useless as underload.

[whome]

Follow the prescribed escalation.

Aye, aye, captain.

[whome]

Day 15

14 days are up, with no visible results so I’m starting a new cycle. Today will be one loop, tomorrow one loop, then two days off. After this cycle I’ll bump the number of loops.

[Jake2015]

Day 15

14 days are up, with no visible results so I’m starting a new cycle. Today will be one loop, tomorrow one loop, then two days off. After this cycle I’ll bump the number of loops.

Keep going! Remember the more patient you can be the quicker and easily you will find the sweet spot in terms of loops and days on and off etc. 

Right now see it as 'im listening to see if I get any effect but its on me to slowly find the best sweet spot for me.' Your sweet spot may differ from mine but if you can find it you'll be on the road to wonders.

Im going easy for now but then Shannon said now move to 2days on and 2 off so im doing that and happy to give it more than a loop and then see if I need to change. So do as Shannon suggests and enjoy the fact that you can and will get there bro! And if you feel ok I'm not then ask Shannon if maybe you should stay on a level for longer than a loop maybe a few weeks to gauge it before changing the number of loops or whatever. Just my thoughts on this.

[whome]

Day 16

Shannon said to drop the third day off, then start with increasing loops per day to 3, then adding days, so that’s what I’m doing. Today is the second day on, then I’ll take two days off, then I’ll start increasing loops.

Meanwhile, nothing to report. I’m still struggling to get up in the morning, and fighting a sense of hopelessness and pointlessness. I can still feel the fear inside it all, which is why I’m hoping that OF will be able to help.

The hopelessness is fierce. The idea that “I’m broken” has been stuck in my head, and I’ve managed to turn that into “My emotional system is broken”, which is maybe a bit better, but that doesn’t make a huge practical difference. I can’t imagine that any healthy woman would want someone with an emotional system this broken. My last girlfriend had emotional issues just as bad, if not worse, and it was exhausting trying to hold her in them, and it’s hard to be sexy in that kind of a space, so the hopelessness of the loneliness grinds on. Sure, if OF manages to fix me over the space of a year, sure, then I try something like DMSI in my mid-40s, but the more that I let myself think about my situation, the more that the idea of me finding a woman that I find attractive who finds me attractive back seems ludicrous.

[djl4]

Day 16

Shannon said to drop the third day off, then start with increasing loops per day to 3, then adding days, so that’s what I’m doing. Today is the second day on, then I’ll take two days off, then I’ll start increasing loops.

Meanwhile, nothing to report. I’m still struggling to get up in the morning, and fighting a sense of hopelessness and pointlessness. I can still feel the fear inside it all, which is why I’m hoping that OF will be able to help.

The hopelessness is fierce. The idea that “I’m broken” has been stuck in my head, and I’ve managed to turn that into “My emotional system is broken”, which is maybe a bit better, but that doesn’t make a huge practical difference. I can’t imagine that any healthy woman would want someone with an emotional system this broken. My last girlfriend had emotional issues just as bad, if not worse, and it was exhausting trying to hold her in them, and it’s hard to be sexy in that kind of a space, so the hopelessness of the loneliness grinds on. Sure, if OF manages to fix me over the space of a year, sure, then I try something like DMSI in my mid-40s, but the more that I let myself think about my situation, the more that the idea of me finding a woman that I find attractive who finds me attractive back seems ludicrous.

I don't mean to change the subject, but do you have a therapist? I (and many other people I know personally with "broken emotional systems") have found body based therapy to be very helpful. It is also a long term plan. Also the "Natural" teachers I've really followed on attracting women have always emphasized going really deep into the body to resolve issues. There are many different techniques to do so, so I won't get into that.  

I've found OF has really helped smooth out my mind, while I work deeply on these things in the body. I don't have a full understanding of it all, but I've enjoyed my short time on OF (v2), life is a lot more chill and productive. 

Just don't want to see you suffer, I know that hopelessness well, and you may need a multi-faceted approach if you're not already on that kind of track. Subliminals are amazing tools for change but part of overcoming your apathy may require more proactivity.

[whome]

I don't mean to change the subject, but do you have a therapist?

Yes, I have.

I (and many other people I know personally with "broken emotional systems") have found body based therapy to be very helpful.

What do you mean by “body-based therapy”?

[djl4]

I don't mean to change the subject, but do you have a therapist?

Yes, I have.

I (and many other people I know personally with "broken emotional systems") have found body based therapy to be very helpful.

What do you mean by “body-based therapy”?

Ok that's good. 

Should probably just stick with that unless you're unsatisfied

Body based means you talk only as much as necessary to establish trust, bring up the feelings, or resolve a pressing conflict.. the rest of the time you do breathing / eye rolling / stretches / massages / expression work to actively bring up and resolve the energy of the trauma, which is stored deeply in the muscles of the body. The whole body (face, eyes, shoulder, torso, genitals, etc.)


Edit: "Yesterday was a session with my energy guy" -- I just reread this thread and saw this part -- I apologize for missing it before. I am glad you are doing this kind of work Keep experimenting and trying things until you find what works best for you. It takes time.

Reichian Therapy is what I do, if you were curious. Student of Freud. But the energy work stuff (i.e. Qigong) is also really great if you find the right person. Feel free to PM if you ever want to know more / suggestions.

[djl4]

Day 2
At only an hour long, a day’s listening session goes by quickly. And with two-on-three-off ASRB2, I’m calendaring for Friday to make sure I listen.

Wait, 3 loops of OFv3 are just one hour ?

One loop of OFv3 is one hour long.  The instructions state to run one loop per day, two days on - three days off.

That is so little listening time. I remember 5.5G, the listening time was 3 loos / day, totaling 4.5 hours

I remember back in my day listening to AM6 for about 18 hours a day while walking to school on a road covered in broken glass, with no shoes and a big hole in my pants. 

LOL. you guys have come a long way

[whome]

Reichian Therapy is what I do, if you were curious. Student of Freud. But the energy work stuff (i.e. Qigong) is also really great if you find the right person.

That’s certainly a different approach to the therapy that I do. Wikipedia has quite a few different links on Reichian Therapy, though; do you know which subtype you’re talking about?

Day 17

First day off. Still feeling not great.