Subliminal Talk

I’m on my first day off after cycle number four. I feel an incredible sense of relief this evening because we made it.
Things really seemed like they were trying to come off the rails last week, but each time I was able to detect the problem in time and solve it. Though it led to a number of real stressful moments. First, just before we had the house appraised, a large piece of facia right below the roof blew off. It wasn’t somewhere where I could get it nailed back on myself. The mortgage company was unwilling to go forward until it was fixed. I spent all day on the phone looking for a roofing contractor who could do a small repair on very short notice. It’s just short of miraculous that I found one right now. Colorado recently got hit by some really nasty hail storms, and all of the crews were booked out for months. But with some persistence I managed to find a good contractor who was willing to come out and do about an hours worth of work.
The next problem was paying for it. It wasn’t much as far as roofing jobs go, but it was more than I had at the time. Realistically it would have been the fifteenth of next month before I could scrape it together if then even. So I called my mortgage guy, and asked if they would be willing to go ahead with the refi if I could demonstrate that I was under contract to have it fixed. They weren’t, but he called back a minute later and asked if the contractor was willing to do the work if the company promised to pay directly out of my proceeds. They were and it was done.
Next issue, the contractor called back and told me that the material they needed was out of stock stare wide. He told me it would be at least two weeks before they could get any. The next day, he called back and said that one of the supply houses had found just enough to get my little job done. They hadn’t looked for that small amount because people usually buy in amounts to do entire houses. The next day it was fixed, and the appraiser confirmed.
At the same time this was going on, I was dealing with another financial issue. We had taken out a loan earlier in the year. And we had gotten the disability insurance option on it. Well, my wife had to take a short term disability due to a health condition. It took two months of dinking around between their insurance company, and her doctor to get things sorted out, and then the insurance company decided not to pay. This left us almost three months late on that loan, and they were going to take her car. I was able to quickly secure another loan and get us current to prevent that.
Finally, we closed on the refi this afternoon. Our financial, and tax problems are solved, and life is going to get a lot easier for the foreseeable future.
I am of course going to finish the three month run, and I will need to find another goal to focus on. At the moment though I feel so relieved that I don’t care. I just want to finish my shift and go to bed.

I feel great. I just got the last of the courtesy checks from the mortgage company mailed off. Our financial problems aren’t completely solved, but we are on the road to recovery and have a good plan and plenty of resources to get there. I anticipate a smooth road as far as that goes. I have only been running this program for about a month and a half, and my major mission for the year is accomplished.
Now what?
During my loop tonight, I got some pretty clear daydreams/visualizations of what I want to do next year, but I am of split mind about how and when to do it. My mission for 2019 is to find the right place to work for the rest of my career, and I have promised myself a bit of a break for the rest of 2018. One part of me wants to be real mission focused and run something like LTU after my 3 month block ends on 11/17 and start Find Your Perfect Job on January first. The other part wants to take a little time for other goals and run a three month block of DAMSI (yes, this is OK with my wife) , for December, January, and February, then focus on the job beginning in March. So, the choice is between simply wading into the goal for the year, and stopping to smell the roses a bit, and starting a bit later in the year.
I have run FYPJ twice in the past, and found what I had convinced myself was the exact job that I wanted each time, and it only took a couple of months. It didn’t work out either, but I know what I did wrong. I tried to steer it consciously instead of letting my subconscious and the universe figure out what is perfect for me.
Anyway, I am convinced that 2019 will be an incredible year for us.

Now that things are calmer, I’ve noticed something. My internal critic used to be a mean bastard, I’d make the slightest error at anything, and I’d rip myself up one side and down the other. My father was a drill instructor back in the Vietnam era, and he has nothing on me when it comes to being hard on myself. Well, it kind of occurred to me when I made some minor mistake today that that’s gone. I let it pass, corrected the mistake, and moved on. It took me a few minutes to realize that I hadn’t berated myself for ten minutes over it. Come to think of it, I haven’t done that in, well I don’t know how long. All I can tell you is that just before I started this sub, I was still doing it. I have been using subs for over ten years, and while some of them have reduced the self criticism for a little while, none have made it go away like this. And I didn’t even notice till now.

Ok, this is not a good sub to use when your trying to give yourself a break. I’m feeling really stressed out like I need to be doing SOMETHING and getting to some goal RIGHT THE &$$& NOW. But I deliberately don’t have a major goal right now, I’m trying to relax a bit until at least the first of the year. I am being short, irritable, and I feel like I’m being pushed really hard toward nothing.
Having a couple of other effects that I’m not sure really have to do with the sub, but might. First is a major case of brain fog. I set things down and can’t find them, walk into rooms and forget why I was there, forget what someone just said to me. I may not be eating right or sleeping enough, so I’ll check that.
I am thinking of ending this run early and running something more conducive to relaxation for the rest of the year and pulling this one out when I’ve got something to aim it at. I’ll give it a few more days though.

(10-07-2018, 09:12 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]Ok, this is not a good sub to use when your trying to give yourself a break. I’m feeling really stressed out like I need to be doing SOMETHING and getting to some goal RIGHT THE &$$& NOW. But I deliberately don’t have a major goal right now, I’m trying to relax a bit until at least the first of the year. I am being short, irritable, and I feel like I’m being pushed really hard toward nothing.
Having a couple of other effects that I’m not sure really have to do with the sub, but might. First is a major case of brain fog. I set things down and can’t find them, walk into rooms and forget why I was there, forget what someone just said to me. I may not be eating right or sleeping enough, so I’ll check that.
I am thinking of ending this run early and running something more conducive to relaxation for the rest of the year and pulling this one out when I’ve got something to aim it at. I’ll give it a few more days though.

Aren't you itching to try USLM2?

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Aren't you itching to try USLM2?
[/quote]

I am, but on the other hand, I’m not really trying to DO anything but maintain for a while. This version at least seems to be better if you have something to aim it at. I mean a specific quantifiable life goal that you are trying to achieve.
I will switch to the new one as soon as it comes out and see though.
I think the plan is to finish this run Nov. 17th, take the rest of the year off of subs entirely, then start Find Your perfect Job on Jan 1 2019.
Then once I have found it, run USLM during the break in period to make sure I get the best possible start.

I just downloaded USLM2. There’s a slight problem. You have to run it for eight solid hours a day. I don’t have eight uninterrupted hours in My day where I can stay plugged in. I work eight hours and have about four that are peaceful enough that I can run the sub. Eight hours of sleep just doesn’t happen with me, not very often anyway. I will finish this eight day block on the old one, and try to figure something out, but I may just have to finish with the old one.

P.M.'ed Ja Paul. just now.

(10-11-2018, 04:20 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]I just downloaded USLM2. There’s a slight problem. You have to run it for eight solid hours a day. I don’t have eight uninterrupted hours in My day where I can stay plugged in. I work eight hours and have about four that are peaceful enough that I can run the sub. Eight hours of sleep just doesn’t happen with me, not very often anyway. I will finish this eight day block on the old one, and try to figure something out, but I may just have to finish with the old one.

Yes, this will be a problem for me too. Sometimes I have to manage on less than 7 hours sleep if I have to get into town early. It wasn't a problem with 5G because you could make up the hours later, but having to do it in one chunk of time is not practical. Also I often get up to go to the loo in the night which would also break it up.

So why is it so hard for you guys to just run it on your phone and keep your phone with you during that 8 hours?

(10-12-2018, 06:47 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]So why is it so hard for you guys to just run it on your phone and keep your phone with you during that 8 hours?

Having to take a shower in the morning wouldn't allow the continuation of an evening session, and it would be impossible to interact with people later in the day if I tried that. I can't use ultrasonic with earphones because it affects my ears in a bad way (I'm OK with ultrasonic on speakers either side of my bed while sleeping though). The programme is potentially very important to me, so I will try to go to bed by 9.30 pm so I can get up early in the morning. Any social life will have to be limited to Friday or Saturday evenings.

Because I don’t sleep 8 hours every night- and I regularly make phone calls on my cell so it would get interrupted during the day- and other days I have meetings so I can’t walk around with headphones for huge chunks

And I don’t want ppl asking me about the buzzing sound from the ultrasonic if I just have it playing on speakers (and that’s if I’m able to sit in one place everyday for large chunks of time without having to leave, have a meeting, etc)

So it only really works if you’re able to push 8 hrs of sleep every night or not have any interaction with others for 8 hr chunks every day.

(10-12-2018, 07:23 AM)terry44 Wrote: [ -> ]

(10-12-2018, 06:47 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]So why is it so hard for you guys to just run it on your phone and keep your phone with you during that 8 hours?

Having to take a shower in the morning wouldn't allow the continuation of an evening session, and it would be impossible to interact with people later in the day if I tried that. I can't use ultrasonic with earphones because it affects my ears in a bad way (I'm OK with ultrasonic on speakers either side of my bed while sleeping though). The programme is potentially very important to me, so I will try to go to bed by 9.30 pm so I can get up early in the morning. Any social life will have to be limited to Friday or Saturday evenings.

My girlfriend is currently using MIR on my phone, because her phone keeps randomly turning it off regardless of which player she uses. We put it on the counter in the bathroom and play it over the speakers of the phone while we are showering. We never use ultrasonics with earphones.

(10-12-2018, 08:53 AM)KingDavid93 Wrote: [ -> ]Because I don’t sleep 8 hours every night- and I regularly make phone calls on my cell so it would get interrupted during the day- and other days I have meetings so I can’t walk around with headphones for huge chunks

I bought a cheap phone for playing it when I was using my main phone. Didn't even get it activated. I just used my main phone to put the files on an SD card and then put that SD card in my secondary phone. If you got it activated, it would be easy to use dropbox to download files to it.

Quote:And I don’t want ppl asking me about the buzzing sound from the ultrasonic if I just have it playing on speakers (and that’s if I’m able to sit in one place everyday for large chunks of time without having to leave, have a meeting, etc)

Nobody has ever asked me about a buzzing sound while playing it from the speakers of my phone, even if I am playing MIR at full blast.

Quote:So it only really works if you’re able to push 8 hrs of sleep every night or not have any interaction with others for 8 hr chunks every day.

Where there is a will, there is a way.