Subliminal Talk

This afternoon it struck me how much my thinking has changed. I got up, and I was thinking about my goals for this year and beyond, and where I want my life to go, and I realized that in my head, I already have it. All of it. Everything I want for the next few years, I’m just waiting on reality to catch up with me. I used to be able to force this kind of thinking, but doubt was always there when I did. That is except for when version one was actively running. Now, I don’t remember the last time I had a major case of the self doubts. What is left is the most occasional and fleeting of thoughts. This state of being just kind of snuck up on me and I barely noticed until now. And here I’d been thinking that version 3 wasn’t doing much of anything for me.
Something major seems to have broken loose with the start of this week’s sessions. It just feels different, like I’m over a hump of some kind.

It’s been a pretty rough week since my last post. It started when I developed a cough, and tried to be a tough guy and work outside in very cold weather with it. It didn’t go well, I ended up missing two days of work, and I eventually went to the doctor. She told me that I have acute bronchitis. I don’t find it cute at all. Got a bunch of meds and now I’m better.
The second issue was that our financial problems really hit home. We have a major problem, but I came up with a three stage plan to get us back on track, and I started working it. Part of that was I had to find the title for a vehicle that we were wanting to use for collateral.
You remember how I had been saying that I haven’t noticed the luck aspect of this working since I was on version one? Well, it’s back. I was going through some old mail (were really good at putting mail aside and forgetting about it) and I found two old checks. One was still usable, and the other was about three years old, but the issuing company will have me a new one in three to five business days. Total was a touch over eight hundred, and enough to get us out of our most immediate problems not to mention finance my purchase of USLM4. I don’t know how the loan is going to turn out yet, they didn’t get back to me, but I’m confident we’ll make it through.
It’s kind of odd, I have noticed that the luck maximizer aspect of this shows itself when I really NEED it to, but I otherwise don’t see it.

Phase one of my plan to get back out of financial trouble is complete. We got a loan to get some stuff paid off and quickly raise our credit scores in order to make a bigger move. Hopefully I can get that done in about a month. I have confidence that I can see us through this, and I’ll get it done.
This evening, I was talking to a friend who I don’t see that often, and she commented on how much more positive and optimistic I am.

(01-31-2019, 12:24 AM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]Phase one of my plan to get back out of financial trouble is complete. We got a loan to get some stuff paid off and quickly raise our credit scores in order to make a bigger move. Hopefully I can get that done in about a month. I have confidence that I can see us through this, and I’ll get it done.
This evening, I was talking to a friend who I don’t see that often, and she commented on how much more positive and optimistic I am.

Are you going to run USLM4?

(01-31-2019, 11:34 AM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ]

(01-31-2019, 12:24 AM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]Phase one of my plan to get back out of financial trouble is complete. We got a loan to get some stuff paid off and quickly raise our credit scores in order to make a bigger move. Hopefully I can get that done in about a month. I have confidence that I can see us through this, and I’ll get it done.
This evening, I was talking to a friend who I don’t see that often, and she commented on how much more positive and optimistic I am.

Are you going to run USLM4?

Sure am

I will hit 3 months on USLM3 on February 7th. That’s one more cycle to a full three month block, I am quite pleased with the results so far. I hope to be able to start version four after my next ASRB break. Unless of course it comes out before Saturday afternoon in which case, I’ll just start it then.
3s results were largely internal for me, but then now that I really need them to kick in, they are. I’m dealing with the current crisis more calmly, and have a lot more faith that I can make it turn out well than I was last summer. I AM still somewhat stressed, but I was able to put together a solid plan and start working it before things got too horribly bad, so they won’t. We should have much smoother sailing getting to a better place this time.
I am counting on USLM4 to help me get things the rest of the way squared away on the financial and employment fronts so that things can be stable for awhile. I see that happening sometime around April or May. Hopefully I can get enough hours with that part time job that that’s all I need.
After that, I’m taking the mental break that I wanted to last year. I think I’ll run DAMSI for the back half to the year just for fun.

I started another “week” of USLM3 during my Saturday afternoon pre work nap. I actually had a very long and involved dream. I don’t remember all of it, but it seemed to last for hours. I was on some kind of camping trip or event with my wife. There were a whole bunch of people there. I met this lady who was famous for some reason (I don’t remember why) and let me tell you, my Subconscious did a REALLY good job building this image, she was smoking hot. She kept pretty blatantly hitting on me, right in front of my wife. I’m not sure if my wife gave any sign that she minded, I don’t think so. The dream ended with her sitting in my lap and uh, really trying to get something to happen. I was thinking that I wasn’t ging to do anything with my wife sleeping right there, but I wondered if I woke her up if she’d be into joining in. Even in dream world, I didn’t think that would fly.
This is atypical for me. Before, on the rare occasions I’ve had sexual dreams and remembered them, the women that they featured have been average looking to considerably below average, but this girl was a hard ten plus. Also they usually haven’t been aggressively going after me the way she was. Im sure that that signifies some kind of psychological shift, and probably a positive one. The part I’m not so sure about is that this was all happening right in front of my wife, and she didn’t seem to be reacting to it. Not sure what that might mean. I once again checked to see if I had been running DAMSI by mistake. Nope.
I showed my wife the product description for LTU yesterday, and to my surprise, she was very positive about it. She has been pretty skeptical about subs in the past and has gotten annoyed when I’ve spent money on them and run them, so this was pretty refreshing. We decided that we are going to purchase it and start running it when I’m on dayshift (that’s coming in the near future) and we’re sleeping at the same time. She also wants to run the universal healing one that’s mentioned when it comes out to see what that does for her MS symptoms.
Other than that, I continue to be struck by how positive I’m feeling almost all the time now. My internal critic is pretty much silent these days too. I gotta say, version 3 kind of sneaks up on you, but things are really looking up. I’m hoping to start version 4 on my next set of days on, can’t wait to see what that does.

I'll take a stab at your dream.

Seems like Lady Luck took a seat on your lap, but your wife being asleep may signify you're worried she's not along for the ride and doing her part along with you. You feeling like you couldn't do anything with her sleeping right there might symbolize that as long as your wife is asleep, you aren't able to be successful. But, you wondered if she'd join in if you "woke her up," which seems like you're trying to do - in real/waking life - by increasing her interest in using subs along with you.

Possible?

I had a lot of dreams again while I was sleeping and running my loops today. I only remember snippets of a much larger story, but I recall that it was one of those long shifting things that seem to last all night. Weird, I usually just black out and wake up.

- I had reconnected with one of my exes. I got together with this girl right when I went to the second college I went to. The relationship didn’t last very long, but she made a real impression. I was kinda messed up about losing her for, like, a decade afterwards and it negatively effected my life choices and relationships. I’m OK now, but I still think about her sometimes to this day. Anyway, I don’t remember what happened between us, but I do remember writing her an email or something that said I’d really enjoyed reconnecting with her and trying to friend her on Facebook or something like that.

- I was sitting on the couch over at someone’s house. They were there but I don’t know who it was. There was a bloody king cobra slithering around. It got angry, and I was sure it was going to bite me. I didn’t think I’d make it if I ran so I tried to think of a way to escape. All I remember it doing was biting one of the blankets on the couch.

- I was in a situation that would cause me considerable personal embarrassment if anyone saw the evidence of it. I was struggling to clean up the evidence before people who would arrive any minute got there. Not going into detail on this one.

- When I was trying to go back to sleep I had already read RT’s above comment and was thinking about how my wife might be holding me back and success in general. I had a half dream kinda thing where I was rising into the air. I went so high I could clearly see the curvature of the earth and landed on a ledge on a cliff face that was behind me. I thought something like “this is too high I could go much lower and still be really high up there.” But I decided to stay at the level I was at. I noticed that the cliff behind me went much higher so I didn’t even have to stop there.

It seems to me that after three months (as of the 7th) the FRM is now doing something on a more conscious level. I don’t know what that might mean or how switching versions (hopefully next week) is going to effect progress.

(02-03-2019, 06:10 AM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]I'll take a stab at your dream.

Seems like Lady Luck took a seat on your lap, but your wife being asleep may signify you're worried she's not along for the ride and doing her part along with you. You feeling like you couldn't do anything with her sleeping right there might symbolize that as long as your wife is asleep, you aren't able to be successful. But, you wondered if she'd join in if you "woke her up," which seems like you're trying to do - in real/waking life - by increasing her interest in using subs along with you.

Possible?

Fortuna herself is hitting on me? That’s a really insightful take sir, thank you. I really hate to think that my wife is dragging me back, but I’ve kind of been thinking that for a while. I made the decision that I’m taking my life to the next level wether she’s willing to or not. Seems like my subconscious may not have gotten that memo yet.

I spent the last couple of days wondering why USLM3 was hitting me with visible effects now after three months. Duh!! TID from version 4. To tell the truth I was a bit skeptical about that whole thing, but here’s the proof. If this is any indication, I can’t wait to get rolling with this sucker.

Hopefully I am four days away from pushing the button on USLM4. I had my doubts about the whole TID thing, but I definitely feel something going on and have for the last few days. In addition to the above dreams, and the luck manifestations before that, I feel a very excited and energized kind of feeling. It’s very focused though. I am convinced that this one is going to give me the fast, huge, and important luck manifestations that one did in the beginning, the drive that two did, and the deep changes that three was at least trying to do. I usually don’t get excited like this before I’ve seen proof of something, this is kind of weird for me.
I was thinking about the dream with the cobra in light of what Shannon said about the subconscious perceiving all change as death. The snake wasn’t a fear that needs to be removed, it’s the sub, or the sub in conjunction with the part of me that wants to change. The feeling that I couldn’t escape it was actually a good sign.

Looks like I’m going to have to wait a few more days for USLM4. That’s ok, I’m doing fine on three. Good news is that I heard back from the agency on that part time job. I’ve got an interview next week.

I’ve been having some bouts of impatience. I woke up in one this morning, but I took some action and it subsided. I mailed a third party check off to pay off one of my credit cards which will move my credit score up enough to make my next planned move. I did that almost ten days ago, and as far as they can tell they haven’t received it yet. The lady I spoke to said that I have more time than I thought for the payment to clear in before they report to the credit bureaus, so I’m a little more relaxed on that. If I need to work an alternate plan, I can do that. Still, I had the feeling that the gears were stuck several times in the last couple of days. It doesn’t seem to last very long though, and often spurrs me to take action which makes me feel better.
On the job front, I’m feeling very calm about my interview tomorrow. I do still have some nervousness about a couple of the stages that will come after that, I am hoping I’ll be able to get a couple of cycles of USLM4 with the better FRM in before I’ve got to do those. From what the folks on LTU are saying, it could be a real help.
I’m still not consciously noticing much on version three. I’m not sure if it’s not working as well on me, or if it is and it just feels so natural that I’m not noticing. The only thing I do definitely notice now is that a lot of my negative thinking and emotional patterns are GONE, and those that remain seem to be on their way out.
I put part of the not noticing thing off to the fact that I now run my loops during sleep, so while I noticed feelings when it was running before, I sleep through them now.