Subliminal Talk

Not much has happened since last entry. My shoulder injury has not fully healed hence I haven't returned to the gym which my major source of social interaction.

The situation is slightly affecting my mood as working out and going to the gym is becoming an addiction.

I did half an hour of cycling. It felt very relaxing to breath fresh air in the nature but the social part of working out at the gym wasn't there...

Oh I almost forgot, yesterday evening, I met the new female elementary school teacher of my daughter at the parent meeting. She is totally gorgeous. She was wearing tight jeans and as I introduced myself, I was totally feeling alpha.

In french, female elementary school teacher and mistress is the same word and at the end of the meeting, I had to talk with her 1 on 1 and to make my point through, I gave an example of when I had my daugther's age and I was with my mistress...

She undoubtedly caught the ambiguity and had to picture both meanings in her mind. Her body language did demonstrate that she did picture the naughty meaning... That was totally spontaneous from me but I love the idea of using language patterns to make women's mind go into the gutter as they listen to me....

During the last week, I felt exhausted physically and I needed more sleep than usual. I had few nights with something like 12 hours of sleep. Idk if running AM6 is demanding energetically or something like that could explain how I feel. At some point, I started wondering if I was starting a small depression or something like that. Paradoxically, I feel like the program is really boosting my self-esteem and increased self-esteem seems like incompatible with a depression.

Anyway, that being said, here are my week-end anecdotes regarding to women. Saterday, it was a nice very hot sunny day so I decided to go at the beach. This decision create a feminine storm. ie: That made a woman in my life very upset. My state did remain unaffected and I knew that this was only temporary.

On my way for the beach, I did stop at a convenience store to grab a 6 packs of beer cans. On my way to the cashier, I ended up in the waiting line behind a cute girl. She wasn't the dream girl of my life but I did imagine her naked and that felt like it could have been fun. A very attractive sex appeal was emanating from her to me. As a side-note, giving myself the permission have these thoughts is imho, an expression of this new increased self-esteem that AM6 is giving me. She must have had the same kind of thoughts about me as she kept looking back at me, playing with her hair. You know sometimes, a girl that notice that you look at her and this is something that she doesn't want, she will pull down her shirt so that you don't check her body out too much. I'm not noticing girls doing that for a long time but this is something that I did notice in the past. Well the girl in line just in front of me did the exact opposite. She did pull up her very molding pants in my face to put her ass well in evidence in my face... I didn't talk to her. Not out of fear. I could and I should have opened her to find out where this could lead to. I would say that it was because I was feeling self-sufficient. I was happy by myself and I was going to a fun place. I have to make it an habit to at least say hello to those girls. One thing that I did few months ago (while running DMSI) was to flirt with a girl working in a tasting kiosk in my grocery. At some point, I introduced myself by giving my full name and I said this is for if you want look me up on Facebook. The grocery girl did find me on Facebook and was chatting on and off with me. I wasn't that interested into the grocery girl but that was a very easy thing to do and only good things could come up from it if I do it with eveyry women pulling up their pants in my face so that I can check out their nice asses...

At the beach, I was playing frizbee with my buddies in the water, a cute woman did pass by and I spontaneously asked her if she wanted to play. I don't remember if I did let her reply or not but I said to her: Catch this and I did send her the frisbee. She did catch it and resend it very well so I did tease her a bit by saying that she was a frisbee champion or something... She went away but I believe that she was a lesbian or something. She was with a group of 6-7 women and they were appearing to have a little bit too much fun together if you see what I mean...

Today, I have returned to the gym. The workout of the day (WOD) did 'appeared' easy (it wasn't) and was not demanding at all for the shoulders (very important as I kinda had a small injury to my shoulder). At the end of the class, I did asked a simple question to a cute girl that was nearby and this resulted to a some interesting discussion. First of all, the AM6 improved self-esteem did gave me some sort of deservingness feeling. ie: I deserve to have this type of women in my life, it is ok for me to feel sexual attraction. That increased self-esteem and deservingness feeling made me more flirteous than usual. And the very interesting part is the amount of personal information that she did volunteer giving me. My experience tells me that when a woman does that, it is a very good signal. All I did ask for was: Do you come often on Sundays? and I have learned that she had an apple picking activity in 2 weeks with her university friends. She is at her last year in University and for that reasons, her calendar is filled with activities with her program friends that they have said during their whole program that they would like to do together but since it is the last year, it is this year or never. Yesterday was her father 50th birthday (OMG, I'm just barely younger than his dad...). She usually work on Sundays but not today because she took off today as she will be driving her parents at the airport that are leaving for a 1 month trip in Romania where she comes from and she will have the house for herself alone for a full month and so on... You get the picture...

I kinda feel depressed. The way it manifest itself is tiredness, lack of desire to do stuff, difficulty to focus on work.

idk if this is a possible side-effect of the program. Like some deep emotional healing is going and is making me feel that way.

Today, going to the gym did really make feel better. It did change my ideas. I did notice that people were friendlier than usual with me. Especially, women that were hovering around

I am roughly about 2/3 through stage 2. Changes aren't that obvious so far in this stage. I wonder if this is possible that changes aren't obvious yet occurring underneath my consciousness.

I feel that there is a growing inner force sleeping inside me that could allow me to do great things but I have kept it undisturbed so far...

One thing that I am doing during this stage is mostly listening to the ultrasonic track...

Something that I have just realized. It is that I have been calling on a lot of BS that people around me has tried to pull on me...

It felt so natural that I didn't even realized what I was doing.

So this is pretty cool!

The only thing that I have to address is keeping my calm when I find BS. Right now, it annoys me sometimes before I take few deep breaths, the emotion could almost be defined as anger.

Oh, here is one final random thought for the day.

I have been reporting tiredness/mild depression but now I have become more conscious of what it is exactly.

My inner dialogue is just totally gone. I'm used to have tons of ideas flying from all directions all the time. Now it is so quiet in my head. There is nothing. There is only me and the present moment or the outer world.

Not so sure that it is a mild depression. It could be inner peace that is one of the benefit of the program...

...but I am just guessing...

Probably the Zen Programming.

Zen programming?

Anyway, I simply went to the grocery and I had a blast just with interacting with people and I was enjoying myself with how I was interacting with people. It feels silly but why not!

This morning I went to the gym. We were only 2 in the class. Me and another guy my age. We had a blast. Even shared political views to find out that we were pretty much thinking the same on a lot of things.

Next I stopped by at a magician guy home to pick up 2 huge teddy bears for my daughters that he offered to give. I met him as he was hired to entertain patrons in a restaurant I frequent. I appreciate him because he is very dynamic entrepreneur. We even talked about Cialdini books. This did impress me as I don't know many people that knows Cialdini beside people that I interact with on the internet.

Next I have a conflict with one of my neighbor. She agrees to do something few weeks ago. Ask me a favor in the form of a permission to perform some modifications around the shared border of our properties.

It turns out that what she has agreed to do, she didn't do it. She did abuse the permission that I gave her by doing much more than what she said she would do with it (installing a fence). Now the thing that she was supposed to do, I have decided to hire someone to do it but because of the fence that she has installed, the price of task that was supposed to be done by her has now increased because the fence has to be removed and replaced to allow the necessary machinery to enter the backyard.

When I did ask her to cover the extra expense that I consider to be her fault, she refuse to acknowledge her responsibility in the situation, she did lie about the agreement we made by trying to convince me that I did agree to exactly what she did and she accuse me of bad faith and that I see a conspiracy against me where there is none because I shouldn't be upset about the situation. She has threatening me that if I pursuing in that direction, our good relationship could be gone. IOW, the worse feminine manipulative methods but I could see all of them clearly and see the logic phallasies into what she was saying to me!

I did stay calm and I have remained firm and have easily destroyed all her BS arguments one by one. I am kinda happy to have hold ground in my right for respect despite meaning that she would not be in good terms with me anymore.

I'm very happy of the plan B that I got in case that we don't find a solution to our conflict. I'm just going to do half of what was originally planned and pay 100% for it in a way that she won't get the benefit that was initially seeked mutually.

So in the end, it is going to be her loss if she refuse to be reasonable. It is a good feeling to have to know that you hold someone that wanted to take advantage of you by the balls...

ordinary day.

I am currently through my second reading of the recommended book 'How to become an alpha male'.

I just finished Chapter 15: Handling your Fears of rejection

I am also taking notes of points that I find interesting as I read. Note that I don't feel like I am suffering from approach anxiety. I am very social and I am absolutely not intimidated by female beauty

but to be honest, I may, sometimes, talk me out from approaching someone which may or may not be some fear disguised as some inner dialogue fake excuses...

that being said, I have found 2 amazing statements in that chapter that for some reason resonate very strong with me. Here they are (I did slightly modify the form to become some sort of affirmations for myself...):

1. I feel relaxed and sexual all the time
2. I am proud of my high sex drive!

(#2 is my favorite one...)

with all the #metoo shaming... A man being proud of his high sex drive by itself feels almost heroic to me.... I want to feel proud of my high sex drive. That sounds like a fabulous idea!!!

I decided to have a small thinking walk around the block this afternoon. I am not considering myself intimidating or anything like that but I crossed the path of man walking in the opposition direction and as I was coming close, he did walk out of the sidewalk to walk in the street instead to let me pass...

I did find this anecdote interesting...

(09-24-2018, 07:21 PM)lano1106 Wrote: [ -> ]I decided to have a small thinking walk around the block this afternoon. I am not considering myself intimidating or anything like that but I crossed the path of man walking in the opposition direction and as I was coming close, he did walk out of the sidewalk to walk in the street instead to let me pass...

I did find this anecdote interesting...

Happens to me all the time. Not sure why or what it means. I choose to believe it's a sign of respect or deference.

I went to the gym this afternoon. Women are definitely becoming friendlier with me. There was 4 women and 2 men in my class.

At the end of the class, I got a real man to woman conversion with one of them... There was nothing more than small talk on the surface but underneath, the way we were looking at each other... There was definitely tension between us... So just to make sure that this tension was real and not just my imagination, SHE did propose that we start doing something together and propose that she reach me over FB to discuss about it.

It is pretty cool. As much as try hard to do some sort of introspection into myself to find out the changes, I don't find that much change and feel pretty much me. But if I pay attention to the reaction of others and how they treat me, I have definitely changed. Guys that were previously ignoring me now are greeting me. Women are definitely behaving better with me. The program is working!

Next week, I am going to start Stage 3. I start to be eager to find out what is in going to happen next!

Same thing yesterday at the Crossfit gym. An incredibly good men/women ratio. 4 Women, 2 men.

I have tried to have the same sexual thoughts torward the most attractive woman in the class that have led to my first and only DMSI success as explained in the Shannon discussion thread.

It wasn't hard at all. Very slim, nice curves, molding sport clothes. Her cute breast that was bumping up and down as she was doing double unders with a jumping rope.

We did interact a little bit. I would say that I might be in her doable category if I was pushing a little bit more.

Today. Where I live is election day. I went to the voting office during lunch time. The table assigned to my street was managed by 3 cute women. When they did call the next person and saw me approaching, I saw the 3 girls saying 'Wow' looking at each other and starting giggling.

When there, they have started to heavily flirt with me. Well, maybe one that was more into me than the other 2. She did even offer me cucumber slices from her lunch as I was going to the voting booth. I can tell that they were totally into me. That was really fun. Before I leave, the cucumber girl, told me that she didn't know the 2 other girls only 5 hours ago and now they were comfortable enough to touch each other tits as she touched the tits of the girl on her side. I did joke to her by saying, I'm looking forward to see how you will be with each other at the end of the day ;-)

The only thing that I haven't done is to make a Call For Action (marketing lingo), to have them pursue me. Some sort of challenge. Like, if you would like having a drink with me to discuss politics or anything else that would like to discuss with me, we could meet after your work to have a drink together. What do you think of that? Pretty sure that she would have bitten.

Well, if I did a strong enough impression and she is bold enough, she may try to find me on FB. She is the person validating that my fullname was on the elector list by checking my official ID. I'll report back if this happens.

In conclusion, I need to get rid of that fake IDGAF attitude and start putting some lines in the water with women that demonstrate such interest to me. Otherwise, I just note that my non-verbal creates more and more positive reactions like that from the opposite gender and it feels really great and find that this is creating some sort of positive self-feeding feedback. The more I get reaction like that, the more I'm feeling confident. The more my non-verbal scream confidence... the more positive female reaction I get and so on...

Final Stage 2 day. When I go to bed tonight, I'll flip to Stage 3.

I liked Stage 2. I got some noticeable behavioral changes. People reaction are now more positive too.

I was thinking about writing some sort of stage 2 summary but I realize that I don't have much to say.

Maybe it is because stage 2 changes starts to be fully internalize and I am not noticing them anymore and take them as normal now.

Bottomline, I like the changes that AM6 provides and I am very eager to experience those that will come with Stage 3.