Subliminal Talk

(08-02-2018, 02:34 PM)lano1106 Wrote: [ -> ]SM as in Sex Magnet program.

If being Alpha means have sex with a lot of hot women, Achieving AM6 goal would allow you to say Mission Accomplished in that department and SM3 program would have no reason to exist..

No because am 6 goal is not to have sex with women. Shannon’s idea of alpha differs from mine.

Ok, it seems then that my Alpha definition is more in sync with Shannon's definition.

IOW, the program makes you become a better man by having an unstoppable confidence and many other traits.

Of course, this is going to transform you into a man that women find more desirable. Whether or not you act on that or become a sex machine, it is optional or a different type of Alpha male. A very sexual one...

I went to a wild birthday party. At some point, they made a Nuru massage party in the center of the party. At first, only 4 women went Nuruing... On of them was really hot. Big pierced tits...

Then they asked for male volunteers. Me and 3 other guys went. I was in mostly to nuru with the big tits girl.

Actually, it is my fault if she ended in the nuru pool as I challenged to do it and she went for it...

Before I did jump in. The organizer asked the men to not touch the big tits girl. Only women can. Oh damn, if I knew I would have stayed clothed...

but oh well... Despite that, I had my fair share of female attention. and at some point, the big tits girl came rub her tits in my back by telling me that I was not having enough nuru gel in my back. So I had 1 naked girl in front of me rubbing her tits on me. Big tits one in my back and another one massaging my genitals.

To be honest, I consider that this is not something that I would have go for before because that wasn't a private settings. There was a crowd of 30-40 spectators looking at the nuru activity. But I don't know why, that sounded like a fun thing to do and I just went for it. Due to that, I couldn't feel relaxed and sexual enough to have an erection... I guess that in future stages, it should be ok...

But still, I went for it. It felt like I was a spectator watching a movie of a different self.

After the Nuru activity, all participants ended up in a shower. Big tits girl came to see me to asked me to put soap in her back. I took that opportunity to tease her a little bit. I told her... So, you just have piercing... No tattoo? She said, no I have one She shows me her tattoo on her ass. To which I reply. Oh, it is a nice pretzel that you have tattooed on your ass.. She laughs, and explain me that it is not a pretzel (I swear, it looks like one...). It is 2 female sign (You know, the circle with the small cross pointing down...) locked together...

That was a nice Stage 1 day 2.... Can't wait to see what will happen on day 3....

Day 3:

I felt not respected few times...

This has trigger anger. I wanted to shout: Hey, what do you think that you are doing?

but I have restrained myself from doing so and the anger went away.

One occurence of these events have been performed by some alpha guy at the gym... maybe this is in reaction to my behavior change and he tries to keep his status by attempting to impose his dominance over me... (Actually, now that I think about it, this guy did did this type of annoying small gestures on few occasions already...)

During my grocery, I did notice more the women...

Also during the whole day, I felt tired. Might be the party yesterday. I was under the impression that I have been reasonable by taking only 3 drinks during the whole evening. I went to bed at 2AM...

I do not think that my lack of energy comes from the program listening

My conversation pattern is changing. At the gym, when I spoke with one of my female friend, I did ask her if she had plans for the weekend... (Seeking logistic? creating opportunities?) That was totally spontaneous question out of nowhere...

She replied that she had a BBQ party at her uncle's place.

This reply did spark a memory that I did share with her...

I was at such a party and we were playing volleyball in the pool and there was a lot of women. I think that another guy and me were the only 2 men. At some point, I had to jump out of the water except that my swimsuit did remain in the water. And this has created some surprise among the game spectators... A lot of women jaws dropped and I got a VIP treatment from few of them after the game...

Funny anecdote... and she had to imagine me duck naked as I am telling the story... Kinda naughty story... she did like it...

Yesterday, some situations did irritate me and this made me have some arguments.

I was surprisingly good at making my point. I hate it when you have some complain about something someone did and instead of addressing the current issue, they are going to bring totally unrelated things on the table to divert the focus of the discussion and put you on the defensive.

Another instance, small anecdote but I felt like a boss, was when I interrupted some employee to ask a question. He was about to tell me to ask to someone else because he was in a hurry and I said something like: No, you are going to answer me. It is only going to take 2 seconds...

I made some dreams too last night. I have never dream that much since on this program....

Stage 1, Day 6:

I went to the gym this afternoon. I have seen the female friend from friday (the one having a bbq party at her uncle's place). She was much less social but her BF was there. That is something that I have noticed. She is very flirty/social when her BF isn't there (with me and other guys) and very outgoing when she comes at the gym alone... I'm wondering if she doesn't have some secret life going on....

I also met my female perfection. Black hair. blue eyes. generous lips. Always in very molding workout clothes to show her perfect curves... I am definitely attracted by her...

It has been a long time since the last time that I saw her. First time, that I saw her, she came to the gym 3 days in a row at the same time. At that time, I was on DMSI and there was some sexual between us and she was hovering around me. Like at the end of the class, we had to team up with someone else to do handstand hold for a total of 2 minutes. She did open me to ask me if she could be with me. During her turn, I couldn't stop to watch her crotch that was at eyes level since she was upside down against the wall and you could see perfectly well her pussy through her molding workout pants... She is a very exciting looking girl... wow...

So anyway, during my DMSI break before starting AM6, I saw her once. She acted cold and when I was looking at her, she was looking away... I was saying to myself, not that it was a big deal or anything: oh oh, DMSI effect is going away...

But today, she was chasing me... At the beginning of the class, she made a funny comment that the temperature was too much hot... but she complains all the time. Like during winter, she will complain about the cold...

Must be AM6 influence... I did some probing saying: Yeah your BF must be masochist... She said yes but they are together for less than a year. To which I replied... Ah ah, he hasn't experienced all four seasons yet with you... That made her laugh...

Hot girls are rarely alone.... That doesn't mean that she isn't accessible... Girls break up and meet better men. Girls can be spoiled by BF and fucked by alphas...

That alone is anecdotal... but at the end of the warm-up, the coach asked us to get some dumbells and I went all the way to the other side of the gym and you know what did happen. By the end of the class, the hot babe did follow me and she did finish her workout right beside me and she was continually looking at me and talking to me....

You know, that is very interesting the interest swings that I feel coming from this girl. It is hot-cold-hot...

You know, I don't feel much different from before I start AM6... but people, especially women, are seeing something different in me... I like very much this effect.

Finally, I did argue again with someone. I don't like arguing. I feel that whenever people argue, there is not really a clear winner... but I guess this is indication that I am becoming more assertive...

Today, I had a weird experience. I went out trekking with a girl from the gym.

I felt some sexual tension between us in the past. I have sometime felt attraction from her. Like she was like a kitten about to pur in my hands but OTOH, I had strong suspicion that she was a lesbian. Best case scenario was that she was bisexual.

But during our trekking, as we spoke, the cat came out of the bag and she is pretty much a hardcore lesbian... I am not too sure how beneficial such unusual friendship can be...

Bottomline the vibe between us was like the one between 2 guy buddies... We did talk about everything including sex and which girls we were finding hot at the gym... Maybe this could be threesome material... I tested water by saying that it would be cool to do a girl together and she enthusiastically agreed to the idea.

but overall I am really not sure what to think about that friendship. For one, she is a nice trekking buddy. We did talk about going to a BDSM workshop together and she was really digging the idea. Going there with a woman is much cheaper than going there as a single man.... Who knows. I got a very willing lesbian woman happy to follow me in crazy places... One of the joke I made with her was that I was a lesbian too. A lesbian trapped into a man buddy... That was totally absurd but that made her laugh...

I have 2 takeaways from this experience.

1. I went along with it as I felt like Jim Carrey YES man. She has proposed an activity, I had to try it with an open mind. This is to be in line with one of the AM6 goal which is to expand social circle. This is something that I really need to improve. So let's focus on quantity first. I'll worry about quality later.

2. I was totally cool to have a very casual friendly activity without having ANY sexual thoughts for doing her during our activity. Sure I did throw some sexual innuendo here and there because that is how I am but I didn't felt a burning desire to do her and I was totally fine with just doing trekking with her. I think that this is one of the goal of the program.. Let me find it....

This one:
Being entirely unconcerned with getting the interest of any woman, because you know there are plenty more where she came from.

and/or maybe this one too:
Drastically reduced or completely destroyed neediness.

I have made another dream last night. I don't understand what is happening to me. I have never dream so much since I have started AM6. There must be some dream unlocking in the program...

Not sure exactly what I can get from the dream. My kids and I were in the Avengers fighting some extraterrestrial bad guy. Lots of fight and explosions. That was as fun as watching an Avenger movie...

I am on my second reread of How to become Alpha. So far there are 2 statements that I fully agree with yet I tend to forget and fallback on old beliefs or don't fully integrate in my behavior. I 'm going to write what they are and possibly rewrite them in every journal entries for some time. The reason why I want to do that is that I have heard some motivation guy (could be Tony Robbins but pretty much all of them are saying it) that having a daily ritual to write down some goal/belief that you want to achieve/integrate. It helps you to keep those in the back of your mind.

So they are:

1. Women want foremost a man who provides them good sex. Not relationships. I am guilty of sometimes forgetting that one...
2. Woment must feel like she can have sex without consequences. Hence I have to create those situations since they usually assume passive role when it comes to sex (This one kinda contradict what Shannon says to DMSI users. Let them do all the work...). I was not very proactive in creating those situation. THAT is probably a big one why I didn't get that much action as I could have while on DMSI. Got plenty of IOIs but I didn't leverage them much. Being more alpha could have made DMSI create more results for me

I just broke a pattern.

Every time that I was correcting facts concerning me said by a girlfriend. She was accusing me to be in a bad mood. This was some sort of frame control. ie: do not argue what I say about you or else I'll accuse you to be in a bad mood.

Today, I just did reply. Correcting the facts concerning me, does not mean that I am in a bad moon. This ended the discussion about my 'bad mood'.

Later, While she was in another room, she was talking to me as I was reading. I wasn't listening and started to complain about me not listening.

I just reply. If you want to talk to me and want me to listen, you are going to walk over and talk to me in front of me and she did comply.

I love getting more assertive and witty...

(08-08-2018, 10:49 AM)lano1106 Wrote: [ -> ]I just broke a pattern.

Every time that I was correcting facts concerning me said by a girlfriend. She was accusing me to be in a bad mood. This was some sort of frame control. ie: do not argue what I say about you or else I'll accuse you to be in a bad mood.

Today, I just did reply. Correcting the facts concerning me, does not mean that I am in a bad moon. This ended the discussion about my 'bad mood'.

Later, While she was in another room, she was talking to me as I was reading. I wasn't listening and started to complain about me not listening.

I just reply. If you want to talk to me and want me to listen, you are going to walk over and talk to me in front of me and she did comply.

I love getting more assertive and witty...

NICE!

Another night, another dream... I'm stunned by the quantity of dreaming that I have been doing lately. It feels like I have done 2-3 dreams in the last decade and since 1 week I have been dreaming every night...

At some point in the dream, I was with a girl in a Las Vegas and I did propose that we go somewhere else and she declined the idea. That is funny because it is related to what I was writing yesterday. The proposal, if accepted, we would have to stop by my room first to get 'something'. thus creating a 'situation'. It is funny that I am doing mistakes even in my dream. A more alpha way would have been to just grab the girl's hand and say: I have an idea, lets go. More likely than not, she would have followed without resisting...

Then the dream degenerated into something silly. We ended up in a food court. I lost my cell phone and I started to look under every freaking table to search for my phone until I wake up... Awaken by my cell phone alarm...

Holy crap...

My fitness female perfection girl that I talk about in my Day 6 entry (somewhere at the bottom of page 1) did chase me on FB...

I just received a friend request from her...

This kinda turn me on as it is exactly how my first fling started last summer when I started using DMSI...

Beside that, I am currently reading The Rational Male book...

It is eye opening and at the same time slightly depressing... Much of what is in this book is in sync with my experience and observations...

I guess that it is ok, I prefer to live in the ugly reality than living in a fake fantasy. I'm happy by nature. I'm pretty sure that I'll find a sweet spot where to position myself and be happy with all of this...

Nothing out of the ordinary to report for the last few days.

I have finished reading the Rational Male book yesterday. As part of my AM6 journey, I have now started reading: The 6 pillars of self-esteem from Nathaniel Branden

Seems like when things are quiet that is when we are learning, then things happen that's when we are experiencing what we are learning.

I am definitely changing. I am reading my self-esteem book. I am starting to have a better understanding about self-esteem really is.

Mine must be increasing. I realize that some things on which I used to close my eyes on now triggers something in me. I feel a urge to say no. I won't let you do that without protesting about what you have just done.

People around me are experiencing turbulence too. I guess that this is transient as the new boundaries get defined.

Beside that, I am experiencing something cool. They are people at the gym that have never talk to me and out of nowhere they talk to me like we have been buddies forever.

Among them one of the top gym athlete. At least 6'5". Almost always finish his workout first... Definitely an alpha in his own way...