Day 31
I wanted to run version A after my break day, but it didn't make it so I continued with version B. I hope it gets released soon though.
There has been some internal progress over the last few days but I don't feel like going over the details. Yesterday I went to a gathering and I noticed my approach to socializing is different now. I care so much less about what people think. Initially the people who were there were those I didn't really gel with. I made no effort to engage them because I have no desire to and I was comfortable with being by myself. Last time I would try to blend in and would predictably feel like an outsider. When people who I gel with arrived, I didn't just jump in and rush to be with them, like as if relieved that I'm not alone anymore, which is what I used to do. Instead how I engage people nowadays is just initiate eye contact with them and wait for them to greet me. If they do not greet me, I don't bother. If they do, I'd greet them warmly. Again I was uncaring of what people think and just joked without restraint. I feel people treated me with more status.
I also saw my ex briefly. The last time I saw her was last year when I was running DMSI 3.1A. I hadn't seen her for a year then. At that time seeing her brought me much pain unexpectedly. This time however I had no feeling whatsoever upon seeing her. Also, my friend mentioned she has a boyfriend now and I didn't feel a thing. Honestly. It's really a relief that I am well and truly past her. I didn't engage her because I had no desire to.
Today I met the same girl from day 24. She was going to make me dinner. Can't say no to that. She'd cook at her house, then bring it to my house, we'd eat and then watch a movie and then f*ck. Nothing could go wrong. But when it actually happened it felt a little anti climatic somehow. Everything went according to plan and we had fun. But I felt a little bored by the predictability. Well next week Friday we'll be going to a nearby island for one night. That should bring a fresh change to the routine.
Haha it's funny when you're getting alot of sex it's nothing special, but when you don't have it then it seems like it's really important.
(03-25-2018, 04:12 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]Haha it's funny when you're getting alot of sex it's nothing special, but when you don't have it then it seems like it's really important.
Well it's not a lot of sex. Just once a week with the same girl. I just felt a little bored because it's becoming a little too routine now and she's not super hot, at least not hotter than the girls I usually get. I want more.
DMSI 3.2B First Cycle Wrap Up
Days run: 31 days, 2 days break
New notch: 1
Number of times I had sex: 6
Not too bad of a run. I closed one new girl and had sex 3 other times with three FWBs. One of those FWBs ghosted me after that, but whatever. The new girl I closed is very into me and wants very much to please me. We are very compatible sexually, she likes to give and I like to receive. She could be hotter but I'm happy for now.
Plus I hooked up with two transexuals, but I don't count them in.
On the last day (last night), a 29 year old woman super liked me and texted me on Tagged. That's a first. She was very straightforward and told me she likes my body, she's a virgin and she wants sex. That's also a first. She wasn't hot so I was on the fence, but I decided to meet her. If she's ugly I'd reject her. But she wouldn't want to meet, saying she needs to know me well first. I totally lost all interest and just told her if she wants a chance, she needs to send me her full body picture and number. I have no patience for this kind of girls.
Internally, 3.2B has been better than 3.1B. The brain fog is thankfully gone. There have been little improvements in my psyche that's hard to put down in words. Over the last few days I noticed my constant need to prove myself in public. It's a subtle and subconscious tension under my thoughts when I interact with people. I was able to let go and relax more, and when I did that my mind felt more free and I felt more present. It sounds like a basic thing but it didn't come easy. My speech also improved a lot. I've always known that my stutters are psychological and the key to fluency for me is letting go. It's not easy though.
I haven't felt any aura activating though. No overt attraction shown by the females around me. I do drink coffee everyday in the morning. I am slowly reducing my caffeine intake by switching to tea. I've also been using pheromones only when I go to the gym (Bad Wolf + T150), but more for the self effects than external effects. I really perform much better in the gym with them and I do want to bulk up fast. So I don't expect the state shifting to occur in the gym when I'm moned up. One of these days I might go mone free though, some cute new girls just showed up recently.
DMSI 3.2A
Day 1
Played the loop last night. No observable effect yet. I was supposed to see a girl today but she flaked one hour before meeting. Wow. I need a better system.
DMSI 3.2A
Day 2
Damn. I usually don't remember my dreams but I had one that was really weird this morning. I had a dream that I was romantically involved with my sister. One afternoon we were laying in bed naked and kissing, being intimate, she told me she's no longer a virgin and had sex with her teacher, who was called Patrick. I felt lots of jealousy. This is crazy, I don't get along all that well with her and I certainly don't do incest. I admit I really fancied her body when I was like 10 years old going through puberty, but no more of that since!
Another dream after that. Me and a friend (a junior from dance who I don't really know that well) were running around in a game of survival. We ran into a storeroom, it had various objects but they were in black and white. We were looking for objects in color, they are essential for our survival. A while later another guy came in, he was a competitor and we were looking for the same objects. I felt threatened by his presence.
(03-29-2018, 08:50 AM)Raikahoken Wrote: [ -> ]DMSI 3.2A
Day 2
Damn. I usually don't remember my dreams but I had one that was really weird this morning. I had a dream that I was romantically involved with my sister. One afternoon we were laying in bed naked and kissing, being intimate, she told me she's no longer a virgin and had sex with her teacher, who was called Patrick. I felt lots of jealousy. This is crazy, I don't get along all that well with her and I certainly don't do incest. I admit I really fancied her body when I was like 10 years old going through puberty, but no more of that since!
Another dream after that. Me and a friend (a junior from dance who I don't really know that well) were running around in a game of survival. We ran into a storeroom, it had various objects but they were in black and white. We were looking for objects in color, they are essential for our survival. A while later another guy came in, he was a competitor and we were looking for the same objects. I felt threatened by his presence.
Dreams are all about symbols in the end. It might have been disturbing, but you don't need to be thinking about incest in real life, to dream about it.
Sex in dreams is usually the intimate connection with something. That something in this case is whatever your sister symbolizes for you. In my case that would be playfulness, silliness, maybe wisdom. You say that you guys don't get along well tho. So what does your sister symbolize for you?
(03-29-2018, 02:59 PM)Blink Wrote: [ -> ]Dreams are all about symbols in the end. It might have been disturbing, but you don't need to be thinking about incest in real life, to dream about it.
Sex in dreams is usually the intimate connection with something. That something in this case is whatever your sister symbolizes for you. In my case that would be playfulness, silliness, maybe wisdom. You say that you guys don't get along well tho. So what does your sister symbolize for you?
Thanks for the input man. Hmmm I'll have to think about that one, it's not simple...
Day 36/37 (Day 3/4 of A)
Many things happened these two days. I went to a nearby island with the girl I've been seeing. Good times. My plan was just to get food and massage. I am a person who likes to plan and have a solid itinerary when traveling. I don't like to waste my time finding what to do on the trip itself. That's why I like to travel alone, I'd have more freedom to do what I want to do in the short time. But she's a follower so it's a good match. This trip was really just about me enjoying myself and letting her take part in my world. We really enjoyed our time.
At night she came on to me hard. Sat on my lap while I was taking care of some work at my laptop. Then jumped on me when I was done. Had some hardcore sex. I reckoned she was on her ovulation so she was very horny. She squealed a lot and said things like she liked me dominating her. Showered together after that. She washed my body with hers. Ate some pancakes and then went to sleep. She pointed out I am a lucky guy, I got to make 6K in a few minutes while I was doing my work, and then f*cked her brains out, got my body washed by her and then ate pancakes. Can't argue there
In the morning I woke up with a morning wood. I started groping her and we had sex again, this time even harder and longer than the night before. Good times. Went to a cafe before taking the ferry back.
The dynamic between us in the trip was that of a leader and follower. She was completely following my lead. It was a little like me just enjoying myself and her being a visitor in that space. I felt some insecure vibes from her. She kept asking me to hang out the following week even before we parted. She also kept asking me if I like being with her, or a variant of it. She told me she feels that I am missing some human emotions. After we parted I felt frankly a little drained and grateful we parted. Her insecurity wears me out.
We came back in the afternoon. I had two dates lined up in the late afternoon and evening. One of them is with the girl who flaked on Day 1A. In the meantime, my new Thinkpad X1 Carbon arrived. I was so excited!!! But then I got a message that my transaction was disputed as fraud, which basically means my client from last night might have scammed me and I might have lost 6k. Oh man. What a day. I felt quite accepting actually, I took it as a costly lesson. It might have been worse.
Met the first girl. She had a very flirty energy. She looks a little old but she looks cute and she had such cute reactions. She also had nice legs though a little short. I enjoyed talking to her. However when I steered the topic to dates and fun, she got more closed off and conservative. I was thinking that if I liked her I can axe the next girl, especially since she flaked on me once before, but I sensed that this one is quite conservative despite her fun demeanor, so I ended it there.
The next date was better. She had a very chill vibe. Quite tall at 170 cm, not thin but not fat, very nice to hug. Nice chill conversation. I had half a mind to be cold to her because she flaked on me but I didn't care, I was in a good mood. Just very self amusing and joking. We had beer (I drank half a pint only). Fun conversation, but again when I steered the topic to dates and fun, she got more closed off and conservative. I felt turned off. I switched topics to hobbies and just amused myself talking about my hobbies. She got more hooked. Before leaving I remarked that she's unexpectedly slim. That got a nice reaction. The vibe became more playful and seductive. I ended up feeling her stomach and hugging her. She liked it. Hugged her before leaving. She texted me that she'll see me soon. I got to thinking after that, maybe girls get defensive and conservative with me because that's what I am comfortable with. Truthfully I wasn't very comfortable with my FWB showing that much affection with me. I'm still not used to it. Maybe my expectation creates my reality here.
During the second date, that FWB texted me, saying she really misses me and she needs to know how I feel, if I don't feel the same about her she can move on etc, basically being very needy. I felt a little turned off. Responded after the date, just saying I enjoyed spending time with her and let's just chill for now.
Fun 2 days overall. Gonna sleep now and play my loop.
(03-28-2018, 01:15 AM)Raikahoken Wrote: [ -> ]Plus I hooked up with two transexuals, but I don't count them in.
Wait wait wait, what?
Elaborate please!
(03-31-2018, 07:10 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (03-28-2018, 01:15 AM)Raikahoken Wrote: [ -> ]Plus I hooked up with two transexuals, but I don't count them in.
Wait wait wait, what?
Elaborate please!
Haha well, I mentioned one of them in post #15. The other one, I met on the last day of DMSI 3.2B. I knew her from an app, I met her last year but I only got her to give me a BJ. That time my house wasn't available so we could only have fun in a public place. This time my house was free. She ubered to my house at 10pm and we just started the action without further ado. Finished the deed. Some conversation afterward then booted her out. In and out of my place in half an hour.
(04-01-2018, 08:34 AM)Raikahoken Wrote: [ -> ] (03-31-2018, 07:10 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (03-28-2018, 01:15 AM)Raikahoken Wrote: [ -> ]Plus I hooked up with two transexuals, but I don't count them in.
Wait wait wait, what?
Elaborate please!
Haha well, I mentioned one of them in post #15. The other one, I met on the last day of DMSI 3.2B. I knew her from an app, I met her last year but I only got her to give me a BJ. That time my house wasn't available so we could only have fun in a public place. This time my house was free. She ubered to my house at 10pm and we just started the action without further ado. Finished the deed. Some conversation afterward then booted her out. In and out of my place in half an hour.
I had no idea anyone else was into that. I must admit, there are a few who just have the right look for me. Props for having the balls to post that on the forum.
I've been facing a lot more resistance with 3.2A than 3.2B. Over the last week, one form of resistance I encountered the most was this: settling for somebody I wouldn't f*ck usually.
I went to KL, Malaysia for 5 days last week to see whether it is any easier than Singapore where I live in terms of pickup. In online game, I do get roughly 2x more matches I got in SG. The girls were also more open to meeting up. The higher quality ones were busier and couldn't meet in the same week, but were down to meet the following week, which I didn't have. I should have pipelined in advance. It is still a conservative country, but less conservative than SG. I got a feeling that the girls were a little more no-nonsense and real than the girls in SG. many of them would f*ck if they want to.
On Wednesday I went to a club. However I didn't know that in Malaysia Thursday is ladies night instead of Wednesday in SG. It was totally dead. No prospects from online game either, only one transexual. Well..... She looked hot so I went for it. She turned out to be from Egypt. Quite exotic, very slim and feminine with a pretty face. Not bad. I went to her hotel and did it.
On Friday I had two dates. One was in the afternoon with a cute but businesslike and bitchy girl. I felt quite high strung and found myself getting pulled into her pace. I noticed it and turned the topic around, but the vibe was never flirty. I made some polarizing comments playfully and she actually got offended. She shortly got a text from her school which meant she needed to leave. I'm sure it was legit. Asked her to see my place but no go.
The other date was slightly better and more eventful. Her profile on OKC was very sexually open but she actually wanted to see me first with a friend. I was annoyed. She wouldn't budge so in the end I agreed to see her friend first. By that time we were both annoyed and the mood wasn't good. She also turned out to be having withdrawal symptoms from her weed break. So the friend left and I just started walking us to the bar area. The mood was not bad when we started drinking. I was amusing myself and deep diving her, asking deep questions. She came to like me and was quite open about her sexuality. I kept asking her to sell me some weed because I never had it before. She was on break, but suddenly she made a phone call to her friend earlier to pick us up so we could all smoke weed together at her place. Well ok that's new to me. So we drove back to her place and smoked. I was friendly with her friend, she's actually hotter than the girl but I wasn't comfortable flirting with any of them in front of the other, so it was platonic all the way. I went home after stoning for a few hours. In the first place I knew if the friend was there I'd likely not get laid, but I chose the weed over her. I really wanted to try it and she wasn't hot anyway.
On Saturday I edged in the morning. Resistance. I also had two dates scheduled in the day. The whole day I was texting a girl who looks to be a model. She was hot, had abs and she was down to meet me. However she texted super slow and I felt very needy. In the meantime I met the first girl. Her OKC profile was also quite sexually open, but she actually turned out to be a virgin. Bummer. I was able to get her comfortable quickly while talking at Starbucks. I picked up cues that she was DTF though. I was contemplating whether to bang her or not, she wasn't hot and a little thick, usually I wouldn't go for her but I felt desperate. I invited her to my apartment without fuss. Escalated smoothly. She was a legit virgin. I tried to f*ck her a few times but she couldn't take it, too painful. I went in halfway one time and I came straight away because she was so damn tight. I gave up after that. Talked for a bit and booted her out.
The second date was basically a hookup. I asked her out by saying 'let's hang out for hugs' and she was down. She was a little thick in her photos but still not bad. She came straight to my place, however in person she was way bigger than her photos. I was hesitant but by this point I was desperate and wanted my Malaysian flag. Invited her up, escalated and banged her without further ado. To add insult to injury, her pussy had a deformity that was less than flattering and it smelled. I felt so much disgust at myself as I pumped away. I felt I was selling myself way short. I didn't do all the self improvement work I've been doing to bang a chick like this.
After she left I hit the clubs alone. The club was full and there were many hot girls. However as always I was quite stifled in the club. I found it very unnatural to hit on girls in that environment. I didn't interact with a single girl and left after two hours. Hit up the rest of my online prospects but they were all somewhere else. I felt needy as hell when I texted them.
I flew back the next day and banged my FWB. It was such a relief to bang a girl I was physically attracted to.
Overall KL was not too bad. I had 4 dates in 5 days having just arrived, and a few hotter options who were keen to meet up the following week. Much more than what I'd get in SG. Seems like I'd bang more girls there if I stay there long term. It's too bad I was having resistance when I was there.
Day 50 (Day 16 of A)
3.2A is kicking my butt right now. My custom earphones just arrived and I listened to hybrid trickling stream last night before I went to sleep. All DMSI 3.2 testing prior to this has been with ultrasonic. Damn..... I could feel the resistance clearer with hybrid. Today I felt the lowest I've felt in more than a year. I encountered some problems with my business and I took it very badly. It's not a huge issue, but in my mind I felt tired and didn't want to do this anymore. Even in the gym, I didn't have my usual motivation and felt like quitting. I started planning for my 2-month Europe trip in June-August, but I didn't have any enthusiasm for it. I've been looking forward to it so much and now it felt like a huge chore.
Thank God tomorrow is my break day. I really can use a break from this right now.
I really have a strong urge to switch to MLS. When I was on MLS, everything was on an upward trajectory. I will definitely switch back to MLS in my Europe trip. There are many countries I'll be visiting for the first time so I want to be at my sharpest. That leaves me with a little more than 8 weeks left to run DMSI 3.2. Taking off the 21-day break, that's 5+ weeks. I think I will run A for 3 more cycles and then B for two weeks.
(04-10-2018, 02:33 AM)Raikahoken Wrote: [ -> ]To add insult to injury, her pussy had a deformity that was less than flattering and it smelled. I felt so much disgust at myself as I pumped away. I felt I was selling myself way short. I didn't do all the self improvement work I've been doing to bang a chick like this.
Loving the journal, keep it up.
Day 53 (Day 20 of A)
I was supposed to see the girl that I was on day 37. There was mutual attraction. However the night before, she flaked, saying she wasn't feeling well. By this time she already flaked twice. I wasn't having it, I just said "Hey it seems like you're somebody who cancels a lot and don't appreciate it when someone already set aside his time for you. So we're not going to be a good match. Have fun." I'm not going to put up with it, especially when I think about the Europe trip that I will be going in June and the hot girls that I will be meeting.
In the afternoon I met a girl from CMB. I felt she could be quite attractive but she was already poisoned by the whole Singapore dating mentality of girls not having to do anything and just being lazy. I mean, she just told me she wants to be a tai tai, which basically rich housewife who just sits around all day and spends money. I basically stopped seeing her as a potential then and just extracted all the value I could out of that interaction. She's quite well traveled so I asked about her travel experiences in Europe.
In the evening I met my main FWB. We had to meet outside since my parents are in. She treated me for steak since she had a big paycheck last month. She also gave me a sports t shirt for me to wear when she invites me out for badminton with her colleagues. I felt quite touched by it. After the meal I thought I should lead her to a hotel. I thought about just asking her straight up, like hey let's open a room, but I couldn't bear to do it. Some part of me is still resistant to that idea. Walked around, made out a bit, walked in the direction of the hotel, she followed without fuss. Went in the hotel, she was surprised but went in. Proceeded as usual, f*cked her long and hard. Came early though. She paid me compliments as usual. After that while walking back I talked to her about why men cheat, sex dolls, meaning of life and such. I liked that I could be more open with her now. I felt that if I have to settle for this girl in the long term, it might not be so bad.
DMSI 3.2A Wrap Up
Days run: 32 days, 3 days break
New notch: 1
Number of times I had sex: 5
I decided to end this DMSI run early. The plan was to switch back to 3.2B for two weeks then switch to MLS, but I decided to end it early. Unfortunately circumstances require me to switch subs. My business is seriously flailing and I need all the edge I can get to turn it around. It's remarkable how similar this run was with my 3.1 run. I laid the same number of new girls, I also decided to end it two weeks early, for the same reason.
Overall, these are the differences between 3.2 and 3.1 that I found:
- No brain fog. This is good.
- I still resisted it, version A more than version B. The resistance was less draining emotionally as well as physically.
- There is way less neediness in 3.2, which may or may not be a good thing, since that means I put way less effort.
- Aura and attractiveness to females feel about the same.
- My standards have raised considerably. Or rather I've come to stay true to my standards. It's become very difficult to go for girls I do not genuinely find attractive.
Over the last 10 days I was on holiday in Zhang Jia Jie, China with my parents. I paid for all our tour fees. It's cool that I got to do that for them. I didn't really enjoy myself though. The place itself is really beautiful, but I discovered that what really makes me happy is working towards my goals. I am the happiest when I am making progress towards being more wealthy, working on my physique and banging new women. Spending 10 days in appreciation of nature is not for me yet. It drove nuts after just 3 days because I couldn't do what I really want to do. I need a break once in a while but long holidays are not for me at this stage of life. Maybe more for when I'm older.
I finished the book Money Master The Game by Tony Robbins while on holiday, and it gave me lots of clarity on my financial goals. There's a financial milestone that I really want to hit as soon as possible. That has become my life's number one priority for now. I'm not sure if this shift in focus is a resistance to DMSI, but it's pushed women way down the priority hierarchy.
With that in mind, I will be switching to a sub that will help me in my business. I am thinking between AM6 and MLS. It's true that in AM6 I was very grumpy and needy, but in my first run I read the 4 hour work week and started my online business, and in the second run I picked a new product and developed it into a best seller. So AM6 has been proven to give me a new direction in my business and life, something I sorely need now. So I am thinking of running AM6 refresher for 2 or 3 months, and then MLS for the rest of the year to execute the plan I hatch with AM6 at full efficiency. In any case, I have to take time off subs for a while so I'll have time to think about it.
There will be a time for DMSI. I've found that for me, DMSI is best run between January to April. I can afford to run it in that time. The second half of the year is definitely for making money and preparing for Q4. That's the rhythm of my year.
Till next time!