Matt, you remind me so much of who I was and what I was going through several years ago.
I can't speak for everyone, but I think that pills should be an option of last resort, as they obviously are for you. Pills are usually not going to fix the problem. They just hide it in most cases. With risks and side effects to boot.
But today the automatic assumption is to just prescribe some pills, because most doctors don't know anything else anymore. In the 50's, hypnosis was making big inroads in dental and medical practices, but its rare now to see a medical doctor who knows how to do hypnosis, never mind uses it. Better medications today, maybe? I don't think so. I think the laws changed and the insurance companies got involved and the legal system got involved and doctors were crushed in the middle, all the while the drug companies were having a field day. Prescribing pills is much faster and easier, and with insurance being so high and malpractice being so common, what doctor has time for really getting to know their patients anymore? To afford all those insurances and such, they needed to see a lot more patients.
I'd say that it would be difficult to find evidence that your anxiety was biological. I find it hard to believe that such a thing is even possible, honestly. Anxiety comes from fear and insecurity. How is that biological? In a case like yours, though, it requires knowing specifically what the triggers are. You'd do a lot better to see someone who understands psychology and hypnosis, in my opinion. Find the root psychological cause, and it shouldn't be difficult to deal with from there on out. Medical doctors are horrible at anything to do with psychology these days.
(11-03-2011, 03:25 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Matt, you remind me so much of who I was and what I was going through several years ago.
I can't speak for everyone, but I think that pills should be an option of last resort, as they obviously are for you. Pills are usually not going to fix the problem. They just hide it in most cases. With risks and side effects to boot.
But today the automatic assumption is to just prescribe some pills, because most doctors don't know anything else anymore. In the 50's, hypnosis was making big inroads in dental and medical practices, but its rare now to see a medical doctor who knows how to do hypnosis, never mind uses it. Better medications today, maybe? I don't think so. I think the laws changed and the insurance companies got involved and the legal system got involved and doctors were crushed in the middle, all the while the drug companies were having a field day. Prescribing pills is much faster and easier, and with insurance being so high and malpractice being so common, what doctor has time for really getting to know their patients anymore? To afford all those insurances and such, they needed to see a lot more patients.
I'd say that it would be difficult to find evidence that your anxiety was biological. I find it hard to believe that such a thing is even possible, honestly. Anxiety comes from fear and insecurity. How is that biological? In a case like yours, though, it requires knowing specifically what the triggers are. You'd do a lot better to see someone who understands psychology and hypnosis, in my opinion. Find the root psychological cause, and it shouldn't be difficult to deal with from there on out. Medical doctors are horrible at anything to do with psychology these days.
I agree. A good therapist is very wise to have...even if you don't have a lot of issues. It's nice to have someone you can trust to go to with your problems as they arise.
Ryan
(11-03-2011, 03:25 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Matt, you remind me so much of who I was and what I was going through several years ago.
I can't speak for everyone, but I think that pills should be an option of last resort, as they obviously are for you. Pills are usually not going to fix the problem. They just hide it in most cases. With risks and side effects to boot.
But today the automatic assumption is to just prescribe some pills, because most doctors don't know anything else anymore. In the 50's, hypnosis was making big inroads in dental and medical practices, but its rare now to see a medical doctor who knows how to do hypnosis, never mind uses it. Better medications today, maybe? I don't think so. I think the laws changed and the insurance companies got involved and the legal system got involved and doctors were crushed in the middle, all the while the drug companies were having a field day. Prescribing pills is much faster and easier, and with insurance being so high and malpractice being so common, what doctor has time for really getting to know their patients anymore? To afford all those insurances and such, they needed to see a lot more patients.
I'd say that it would be difficult to find evidence that your anxiety was biological. I find it hard to believe that such a thing is even possible, honestly. Anxiety comes from fear and insecurity. How is that biological? In a case like yours, though, it requires knowing specifically what the triggers are. You'd do a lot better to see someone who understands psychology and hypnosis, in my opinion. Find the root psychological cause, and it shouldn't be difficult to deal with from there on out. Medical doctors are horrible at anything to do with psychology these days.
Shannon, just wanted to let you know my name is spelled with one t. That probably seems strange to you, but me looking at my name with two ts is strange for me haha. Don't worry about it though, people always spell it with two.
Anyway, on a more serious note. I wish that there were knowledgeable psychologist that were as easily handed out as medication. That's my biggest problem. Psychologists cost money and it's hard to find a good one. I had a bad experience about a year ago with a therapist that was covered by my family's insurance. The guy almost insulted me for not doing anything and told me my anxiety wasn't real and I was just making it up. He didn't understand me and he just milked my insurance for all it was worth. It's hard enough opening up to a complete stranger, but when they think they know you just because of a few sessions it really made me pissed off that he came off as so judgmental. Sometimes therapists are equally as horrible as medical doctors when it comes to psychology.
Pills are a last resort, believe me. If there's one thing I'm obsessed with it's how things work. I always need to understand the underlying principles behind something and medication always has sketchy evidence when it comes to how exactly it works.
Maybe biological is the wrong term to use. I believe it is hereditary in some way. That may seem to lack evidence as well I guess. But when I was a kid I had some irrational fear or over sensitive nature about me. Maybe I learned it from my environment, which would be my mom because she has the same issues as me as well. I have a memory, incredibly embarrassing one at that, of me peeing in my pants in the middle of class in elementary school. I remember exactly why I did it, my teacher was talking and I was too afraid to ask to go to the bathroom so I tried to hold it. To me that seems like something that isn't very normal for a child, to be that afraid to ask a simple question. At such a young age it's hard to imagine how I could be full of that much fear and insecurity. Now here's the part where it gets interesting. When my mom was a kid she did the same exact thing as me. Not the most conclusive evidence, but it makes me wonder if these problems are more than just thoughts in my head.
The problem is modern science still isn't aware of how things are passed down to offspring, if behaviors are hard wired, nature vs nurture, etc. It's all one big mystery, which makes my predicament even more confusing. If I developed my anxiety as a teenager I would be content in saying that it is merely a product of low self esteem or negative thinking. But my childhood seems like it was also filled with anxiety and it just makes me wonder why.
I'm with Shannon that there are underlying fears that trigger this anxiety. I was home schooled whenever I was in my late teens and ended up not having any friends as a result. Whenever I got out in to the world, I had to learn everything the hard way and had such severe anxiety that I couldn't even walk through a place without feeling like everyone was watching me. I lacked confidence, was super OCD and had severe depression...and I do mean severe. My initial idea was that it was biological so I studied nutrition and started a regimen to make sure I had all the vitamins and minerals that I needed for healthy levels of brain chemicals. That did help some and helped give me a bit of a sunnier outlook on life, but what really made the difference was reframing all of my negative beliefs and taking the stick out of my ass. I started out by reading lots of books and meditating a lot. Slowly and over time it got better. I just had to take responsibility for my problems and not live in them. As a result, I am usually always happy now. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Anyway, didn't mean to tell you a whole damn story, I just figured it might help you for a point of reference.
So I'm reading up on cognitive behavioral therapy and I just got this huge light bulb moment. I want to be free of anxiety and fear, but I wanted the subliminals to do it all, so I never really put in any conscious effort. I don't know why, but I think I did that because I was afraid if I removed my anxiety that the sub wouldn't do anything. It was a huge irrational belief because if I could get rid of anxiety without the sub that's not a bad thing. I was holding onto the anxiety as a way to prove that the sub was doing something, which isn't the best way to go. When I mean conscious effort I mean actively trying to challenge negative thoughts.
CBT has a term called ANTs(automatic negative thoughts). I never really paid much attention to what I was thinking but now I've begun to monitor my thoughts more. My biggest problem is I'm accepting these thoughts as the truth when they are all lies. I'm seeing now that the way I see myself is a harsh judgement that isn't based in rational thinking at all.
I think when it came to my negative thoughts I did one of two things. Either I accepted them as the truth, without question and admitted defeat. I let them swarm me instead of challenging them and seeing objectively. The second thing I did was ignoring the thoughts and suppressing them. While I would feel good for a while they still were buzzing underneath the surface and manifested themselves as physical pain in my chest. This would continue until one day I broke down and the emotions and thoughts came flooding in.
Now this isn't the complete answer to my problems because those negative thoughts are coming from somewhere. Most of my depression stems from my frustration from my social anxiety, which causes me to have more negative thinking about myself in general. Now I need to understand where the social anxiety comes from. To me I believe those negative thoughts are highly irrational. But I'm sure to my subconscious mind it has a very good reason for believing them. An example of a very irrational yet blunt negative thought is "People will think I'm stupid". That's my initial thought when I walk in a crowd or something. It's so ridiculous I just have no idea how to address something like that.
So the lesson I learned today is to carefully monitor my internal dialogue and not to immediately take it as the truth. So much of my misery for days on end was merely the result of constant negative thinking that I suppressed and convinced myself that it wasn't my doing. I'm taking more responsibility now for controlling my negative thinking. Although I would like to get to the point where I don't have to do this. But I'm not sure if that is possible or not. We can always come up with negativity so we always have to be mindful of it. I've just made a terribly bad habit out of it and now I have to break the pattern.
The subconscious does not have to have a "good reason" for anything. It only has to accept it as true. The subconscious has zero capacity for logical reasoning - that's the job of the conscious mind. So as long as the subconscious has accepted something as true, it acts on it. It can be the most irrational screwed up statement, but if the subconscious has accepted it as true - it acts as though it is actually true. Absolutely literal, with zero ability to think logically - as far as we can tell.
So... don't assume there's a good reason. You're expecting that the subconscious thinks like the conscious. It doesn't. Just focus on changing the faulty programming of the subconscious to what you consciously want it to be. The reason it's called "programming" is because the subconscious is very much like a computer. Absolutely literal, and will execute any instruction it understands - even to the point of self damage. The conscious mind is there to prevent that.
Yep the subconscious doesn't have to make sense or have a good reason, alot of beliefs are illogical, actually I could say nearly all are.
Through exploring my own past memories I am surprised with what comes up, initially some of them I try to ignore thinking 'this doesn't make sense, it can't be that one' but when I realize it come up for a reason and explore it, I find a belief or something created by that simple memory/experience that I would have never realized otherwise.
I'm going through some anxiety myself, including social anxiety. I've always been kind of shy, but i've found it's worse since I had concussion, the physical part seems healed but there is psychological trauma from being hurt as bad as I was.
I found something interesting last night, will pm you in a minute.
-Ben
Shannon Wrote:The subconscious does not have to have a "good reason" for anything. It only has to accept it as true. The subconscious has zero capacity for logical reasoning - that's the job of the conscious mind. So as long as the subconscious has accepted something as true, it acts on it. It can be the most irrational screwed up statement, but if the subconscious has accepted it as true - it acts as though it is actually true. Absolutely literal, with zero ability to think logically - as far as we can tell.
So... don't assume there's a good reason. You're expecting that the subconscious thinks like the conscious. It doesn't. Just focus on changing the faulty programming of the subconscious to what you consciously want it to be. The reason it's called "programming" is because the subconscious is very much like a computer. Absolutely literal, and will execute any instruction it understands - even to the point of self damage. The conscious mind is there to prevent that.
I see. That makes a lot more sense now. I think I might have been just putting too much mental strain on myself to try to change these thoughts consciously. I've actually been really tired these past few days. I'm going to move to a more mindfulness based approach with my anxiety and negative thinking. Something about Eastern philosophy always felt more natural to me than attempting to control those thoughts, at least on a conscious level.
So far I feel like stage 1 has cleared a lot of baggage. I've gained a lot more understanding about myself and I've learned how my social anxiety caused me to project onto others. These days I'm learning to manage the anxiety a lot better and choosing to easily let it go when I need to. Part of my problem was also because I held onto my social anxiety. I think I did this because the anxiety was actually a defense mechanism for a much deeper problem that I didn't want to address. I definitely feel like a lot of insecurity was removed from me and I'm more free to express who I am. An example of this is I decided to grow my hair out again. When I had shorter hair I felt like I cut it short just because of societal pressure and how a guy is supposed to look. I never really felt comfortable with it, but now I feel a lot better. It's such a small thing, but it makes a huge difference in how I feel.
I'm sort of a jack of all trades master of none guy. So I have trouble dedicating myself to just one thing. I've decided I'm gonna learn to breakdance. It's one of those things when I was younger I thought about, but I felt like I would be criticized for it and I never tried to learn. So know I've got skateboarding, breaking, and producing electronic music. Sometimes I wish I was only interested in one hobby and poured all my passion into it, but that's just not the way I am. I'm too interested in other things and I'm always willing to try something new. But I guess that's limited thinking that I believe I can't be good at 3 things. In fact, I'm learning to recognize my fear of failure and just push through it. Along with my perfectionism and the attitude of, if I can't be really good at something why bother. I'm trying to learn to just have fun, without the need to prove something to myself or take things too seriously.
Glad to hear it's clearing more stuff. With the changes from my first run through I know it will make even more good changes for me again, won't be for like 6 months to a year until I do it again though.
Do you find Alpha to be much easier this time around? Did you upgrade?
Can't wait to get back on it in 2 months =)
Ryan
(11-09-2011, 06:27 AM)Ryan Wrote: [ -> ]Do you find Alpha to be much easier this time around? Did you upgrade?
Can't wait to get back on it in 2 months =)
Ryan
Well it's hard to tell. When I first ran through alpha I'm pretty sure I had the volume too low on my speakers, so I wasn't getting the full effect. This run through I had a lot of resistance to the new volume level. I'd say that overall it has been a little more rough, but when I break out of it I feel a lot better.
I just realized that I didn't run through stage 1 with the 2011 set the first time around. I remember Shannon saying something about minor hiccups if you started 2011 on stage 2 or something. Anyway, I'm sure you are going to enjoy Alpha the second time around, I know I am.
What is it you're enjoying about your second run through?
(11-09-2011, 01:20 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]What is it you're enjoying about your second run through?
Well my first run through I felt like I really had to look for the results. But this run through I really am noticing the changes without trying so hard. Everything feels a lot more natural too. Maybe it's just that I'm less desperate to see the changes, so I'm more content in just doing my own thing and relaxing. I wish I could be more specific, but right now it's just a great feeling of being really clearheaded.