I was running late to an appointment and called in to notify them. The young receptionist woman who has trouble hearing me and makes me repeat myself picked up. Turns out I had to reschedule because there wasn't enough time to complete it before closing. The thing is, it sounded like she was going to cry over the phone because I was so hardline with her. I dislike phonecalls and maybe I do talk too fast to get the point across quick. I enjoyed that, though. I'd rather see a woman crying than happy most of the time. I cannot respect such feeble creatures at all. The only exception is little girls because they always brighten up my day and are naturally pleasant to be around and make me feel like a million bucks. Once puberty hits, the power struggle is raging and nowadays my contempt is winning over the urge to fuck them let alone compliment or charm my way into their pants. Ugh, I don't even want to see that receptionist face to face, probably some fat slovenly pos, but I'll go anyway since I need this done and could care less about her.
Addit: I have an easier time telling when people are in negative vibrations and thus lack integrity. When that's the case, there is pretty much no chance of an equal relationship or whatever. Enter: The Dominator. A lot of people are little minions like this running around in fearful anxious states with no interpersonal responsibility/respond-ability and they are buzzkills to say the least. Was I too hard on that chick and chicks to come? More like speaking the only language they can understand.
Remember rule 4, your first sentence goes against that.
Other than that, the behavioural shutdown model definately connects with my experience. And I assume you're connecting it with efforts with women and the bullshit you have to go through.. because it definately has that affect after a while.
Ah, I was just thinking about going to the Religion thread... Maybe a lot of people are in Behavioral Shutdown mode due to living in a insane upside down society. In that experiment, some of the rats secluded themselves to only eat and groom, becoming "the beautiful ones"...
Man, I can't get this freakin' granny out of my head. I was walking through a department store clothing section as a shortcut and saw a very old female storeclerk. I quickly made eye contact then shifted my gaze in a NANOSECOND and kept walking. Poor little old lady, I could tell she was disheartened at the lack of attention. Then on my way back I saw her organizing bras... Well, too bad. I can't really be bothered to give a shit. She's definitely had more sex and attention heaped upon her than I have in my lifetime. All I need is some generous titties in my face and I'd be a good boy (for a while). Am I a monster for now even disdaining the iconic sweet old lady or simply a realist? Gender war is getting real brutal out here.
Then I noticed some woman following close behind me with an ass stuffed a little too tightly in some undersized jeans. I looked back and she overtook me as I changed aisles. Just more complete apathy from the female species. I should have said something like "what the fuck are you looking at bitch?" or grabbed her accentuated overstuffed ass. I mean, anything is better than apathy.
(01-08-2018, 09:44 PM)RisingSon Wrote: [ -> ]Ah, I was just thinking about going to the Religion thread... Maybe a lot of people are in Behavioral Shutdown mode due to living in a insane upside down society. In that experiment, some of the rats secluded themselves to only eat and groom, becoming "the beautiful ones"...
Man, I can't get this freakin' granny out of my head. I was walking through a department store clothing section as a shortcut and saw a very old female storeclerk. I quickly made eye contact then shifted my gaze in a NANOSECOND and kept walking. Poor little old lady, I could tell she was disheartened at the lack of attention. Then on my way back I saw her organizing bras... Well, too bad. I can't really be bothered to give a shit. She's definitely had more sex and attention heaped upon her than I have in my lifetime. All I need is some generous titties in my face and I'd be a good boy (for a while). Am I a monster for now even disdaining the iconic sweet old lady or simply a realist? Gender war is getting real brutal out here.
Then I noticed some woman following close behind me with an ass stuffed a little too tightly in some undersized jeans. I looked back and she overtook me as I changed aisles. Just more complete apathy from the female species. I should have said something like "what the **** are you looking at bitch?" or grabbed her accentuated overstuffed ass. I mean, anything is better than apathy.
Dude I think you've swallowed too much red pill "philosophy"
The way you view women is abnormal. Women aren't the enemy. If you think over weight women are an issue then just ignore them and find the ones who take care of their bodies. There are plenty of them.
But the fact that you feel the need to fixate on their issues and flaws says more about you and where you're placing your attention than it does them. For all you know they could be in a completely different state of mind but because you're so preoccupied with your own ideas and projecting your own thinking onto those around you have no clue what might actually be going.
What you have is a symptom of our society. The preoccupation with left brain thinking. Getting trapped in ideas rather than embodying the world and experiencing it as it is.
You're an intelligent guy. You've put up quite a few intelligent and insightful posts. But somehow you always return back to this women hating and it's getting you no where.
Women are definitely my enemy and have been brainwashed so. I'm only antagonistic because I'm not getting my needs met. It would be better to rid myself of desire completely and give them a complete stonewall but unfortunately a part of me still cares. I would prefer to improve the health and condition of beautiful women rather than compete with them or play 'who cares less'. And a woman's state of mind is abysmal naval gazing or some schizoid delusion so no thanks, I always choose reality.
I've been checking out this guy's blog tonight and will buy his book.
http://www.theprimalmale.com/the-rise-of...ntagonism/
If reading my rantings is too much for anyone, that's OK, you don't have to agree with how raw I am. If you aren't ready for this rawness it could be dangerous to your popular notions. I believe UD is really going to strip away a lot of dross and do some major refining of the AM6 and remove self-defeating beliefs or self-limiting scripting if any. In the meantime, I'll be self-medicating to Eastern Euro pop music.
Damn, that last video is a masterpiece. That gave me the energy to stay up all night. The chemistry in that video is something else.
Then I came across this video and was even further impressed. Very nice.
I can't sleep so I might as well update this oddball journal. Who even reads this stuff?
I've been listening to Albanian music like my life depends on it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3Ukj6WmFU8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NfzB3it908
And it very may well... I like their style and attitude. Plus their vocalizations and hand expressions. I need to stop repressing myself in those ways and have more flow. I already have good flow but it needs to be turned up a notch a bit louder.
I have left my solitary mountainside abode and ventured into the world beyond. It's strange, there are people out here and well, I'm learning that environment can play a huge part in situations and attitudes but of course I want to see manifestation trump that.
I think DMSI is still manifesting, man that program is strong. I ended up in my hometown city (in the rich part where my family is from) and right when I pulled up in front of an organic grocery a teen girl with one of those gooey bubble butts came right along wearing loose leggings but that ass was still like damn. I met her outside the bathrooms as we walked past each other. Maybe I shouldn't say I'm telepathic but I sensed that she was projecting a bunch of angst at me. I haven't felt a psychic impulse like that from someone in a long time, it's like everyone is a zombie where I've been at, because this girl had some juice to her. Anyways, it was obvious she was in headspace and disconnected from her body yet flaunting it... Of course I was too chickenshit to say anything nor really inclined to, just locked eyes. See, when I can't even approach or aggressively seduce a girl who is wearing such provocative clothing that just makes me another emasculated faggot. That's why I hate being around prickteases in public and not being able to do anything. Drives me insane.
On the UD side, I ended up binging and eating a greasy burger with a malt. Haven't had junk like that in months. And I started smoking again... Haha must be an emotional issue. At least I downed 6 raw eggs with that meal so I got some real nutrients that will turn into sex juice.
The black front desk girl at my hotel was really helpful getting me checked in since I came wandering in like some lost puppy. Where am I and what am I doing? To be continued...
ALRIGHT. I gotta come back and show some love for my favorite forum. Or at least one of the only forums that is good for my health.
You know, I'm still impressed by the DMSI effects even after a month+ off. I'm in a class right now, an elite healing seminar, that I shall not divulge the specifics of at the moment. But I must comment on my GAME now that I am back in the big city (not my city but another city: Dallas). I'm getting preferential treatment at the hotel like a true playa. Just been lifting weights in the mini gym here then went to the hotel bar to grab a glass of wine straight after. Asked the young woman there if I could get some wine and bumped hips with her as she grabbed a glass out of the cupboard. I got mad game, son. She said I could take the whole bottle. I chugged 1/4 on the spot (just kidding, I used a glass like a gentleman).
Then I hopped in the hottub only to emerge after a while dripping wet with my shorts sagging as I exited to the bathroom. Black girl with the big booty who checked me in was right in my half-naked line of sight, so I only grinned and laughed then went IN (to the bathroom, not her). Got wet some more, then came out dry and saw her and the bar girl waiting for me in the lobby but I ain't with that coy shit, son. So I sauntered off back to my room. Bar girl ran up to me and gave me a full bottle of red wine to take up to my room. I say thanks you are so nice then squeezed her shoulder as she turned away. Now the only question is when is she showing up knocking.
Alright, I'm bored with those hotel girls and I obviously only have my 'take what I want, intrusive masculine alpha' behavior when I'm buzzed or drunk.
Saw another teenage girl who I was attracted to check in with her parents then keep returning to the lobby to fiddle with stuff and loiter while pretending to be on her phone all the time peripherally focused on me. That's real cute, I need to find a way to isolate her.
I'm starting to realize if I want a girl who is actually young and hot and attractive I need to take her from someone else, either her parents or her boyfriend/friends. That's just the way it is, since the ones that offer themselves up as single usually are not of high quality.
In my class all the older women 40+ (which is all there is) are into me. I'm not really feeling the class at this point because there is a female teacher substituting for the founder of the method and I cannot progress with a female teacher, I can't even accept their authority so my motivation is shot. So these women are henpecking for my attention and being really open about it but my disinterest is obvious. I make plenty of brutally honest jokes with one of the more friendlier ones, like to hook me up with her daughter (or is it grandaughter) but I can see how solipsistic she is so that doesn't even register in her selfish mind. That's a really cool old lady, too, who has plenty of supernatural experiences but at the end of the day is just... Eh... I can't really tolerate women's bullshit at all. LOL!
WTF, DMSI.
I just manifested a total babe in the hotel hallway, wearing a clown suite. OK, it wasn't a clown suite but a sexy frilly black and white striped outfit. She was carrying a bag of clanking bottles. I could have accosted her and said "what's in the bag, massage oils?" or physically took her and said "my room is that way"... yet all I managed was a "nice outfit" as she turned the corner right before me.
Other dumb girls I think are trying to subconsciously trigger my predator 'chase' instinct. When I checked in there was a gaggle of teen girls in the lobby who would stare at me. Another duo kept walking back and forth. Then, when I later exited the elevator on my floor, that gaggle of 4 girls started running down the hall away from me right when the door opened (so they didn't really know it was me). OBVIOUSLY these girls want to get chased down and mauled like an antelope.
I only say that because the black hotel desk girl saw me go outside to smoke, then did the exact same thing and walked then started running to her car like a wildebeest in heat, bouncing that booty as much as she could. She grabbed something from her car, but I mean... The signalling is pretty obvious.
Help me out, DMSI.
Saw another smoking hot latina manifestation, busty one in a very tight black and white striped dress (coincidence with above clown chick?). Was out at dinner with the group and locked eyes with her outside, then her boyfriend who gave me the hostile telepathic message "look at my girlfriend again" as they walked in... Heh. Then again I am on UD at the moment, but that was a pretty potent string of manifestations.
So I am pleased with my trip to the city. Departed ways with the healing class. It seems their focus was on me, almost detracting from the lesson, but much wisdom was shared and I had a very close bond with the female teacher I was previously sort of antagonistic towards... So all is well that ends well.
Also got it in with a former stripper tonight (rare for her)... Interpret that however you want but my vibe was on point and she enjoyed me.
Edit: Forgot to mention I ran AOSI last night/today.
Edit: Bare.
