Stage 2, Day 32:
Finally done with stage 2 and I’ve made 33% progress with the core portion of the program. Stage 2 definitely did what it was supposed to. Stage 1 seemed to be like a .38 special with a small bit powerful impact. Stage 2 was like a 9mm with a much more pronounced result. I’m guessing stage 3 will feel like anywhere from an M16 to a .52 caliber firearm since it’s considered the “big guns” stage.
Stage 3 Day 4:
Book of the month: The Unchained Man (Alpha Male 2.0) by Caleb Jones - This book definitely puts a new spin on the concept of a new type of alpha male, the book touches on ever life area as well and actually gives actionable advice.
I’ve been sick the past couple days but still kept pushing myself, as of today I’m out of commission and have no plans to even leave the house except to run out and get cold medicine. Gotta take care of myself after all, I’m actually surprised that I lasted so long without getting to this point, and while I feel I could still keep pushing, I rather just take care of myself. Wonder if STC programming has me pushing so hard.
Other than that, nothing out of the ordinary to report from stage 3 yet but of course I’m just getting started.
Stage 3, Day 8:
I’ve been reflecting on the past few days, and why it feels like I’ve been stonewalling, literally feeling no changes with the new stage the past 4-5 days now. After combing through both the instructions and the sales page, I realized that I’ve exhibited the behaviors, mindsets, and attitudes listed at least twice. I know that’s a bold claim because it probably makes it sound like I’ve already gotten everything I could get from the program which can’t be true because I’m not even halfway through. As of now it pretty much feels like I’m just cruising on the program though.
Another thing I’ve noticed is an increased disdain for homosexuality in both males and females. I’m repulsed by women displaying any masculine attributes and any men displaying feminine or boyish tendencies. I’m not homophobic and couldn’t care less about someone else’s sexual or romantic preference, but I won’t deny that I find a lot of it off putting in an energetic sense more than ever this past week.
Stage 3, Day 12:
For the most part I have to say that the only blatant part of the programming I can recall being expressed prominently, is the STC programming. I've gotten pretty busy between school and work, which I must say, I'm not too much feeling either one right now. In school I once again find myself getting very annoyed with my professors just like last semester. I easily notice how inefficient their teaching methods are which makes me feel like I'm wasting my time sitting in class.
With work, It's become mind numbing and repetitive. But I already know that moving from one job to the next will generate the whole "same shit, different day" effect. I've had a few other jobs and eventually they all show the same thing: incompetent leadership, office politics put before competency, people that complain everyday but never do a thing to move up or move out, blah blah blah. I'm feeling an increased need for change in all areas of life, obviously it's up to me to make it happen.
Also had to officially cut my listening down to 8 hours daily. Not even because of my schedule but because I keep being pushed beyond my mental limits for right now. Feels like my brain turns to mush after 12 hours of listening time and if I'm at work, I can kiss my brain cells goodbye about halfway through my shift. This may be a form of resistance but even so I have other life areas that demand my energy right now.
Stage 3, Day 16:
Pretty much a battle with depression and frustration happening at this point. Yet I continue to push through all emotions, I'm tired of making moves based off of feelings. Hasn't gotten me where I want to go and I realize this now more than ever. Nothing to it but to do it.
Stage 3, Day 18
My subconscious sent me signs in a dream that stage 3 is working even though I don’t feel anything happening. I saw on a white board in the dream where things were writing themselves. I was told through these writings that subconsciously, my eating habits are still changing, which is true because although not fully healthy, my diet is better than what it was prior to AM6. I’ve been getting more of an urge to pick back up on exercising too but I simply don’t. This may change as time goes on. I have a habit of going in cycles of being dedicated to exercise, then I drop the habit.
My subconscious also told me in the dream that my level of fear overall is dropping. Looking back, this does have truth to it, especially when I compare my level of confidence to that of my peers, which is almost non-existent in general. Last thing I’m noticing is that this past week, I’m feeling more selective about talking to people in general. I’m less sociable than when I was on E2. I am also not reading, listening to, or associating myself with anyone or anything that’s not in line with my personal values. I also find myself calling me out on behaviors and thought patterns that aren’t pushing me to where I want to go.
Stage 3, Day 19:
- I'm noticing an extremely unusual amount of stares from both strangers and people I know.
- Did a presentation in class and for the first time ever, I wasn't nervous at all while standing up and doing a class presentation. I was quite confident.
- People in general seem to enjoy my company.
- This all may be because I did 16 hours of listening yesterday, plus I've decided to increase the volume while I sleep. This all may be leading to my subconscious responding better to stage 3. I'm going back to 12 hours daily (minimum).
Stage 3, Day 20:
I can honestly say my drive to get things done is back and with a vengeance too. I'm getting many positive vibes from people I interact with, and women especially are doing favors for me for absolutely no reason.
Stage 3, Day 22:
I’m far more serious when making decisions and getting things done. I’m developing plans to make healthier dietary changes as well. So much so that I’m extremely hesitant and selective when choosing what to eat, to the point that I’ve often only been eating once a day, instead of just throwing some kind of crap into my body just for the sake of convinience. Procrastinating is quickly becoming a thing of the past. Depression and worry are also dropping.
Stage 3, Day 23:
Mostly a lot of female attention today, and guys acting nervous around me.
Stage 3, Day 24:
- Was walking to my first class of the morning, ran into the professor for my second class. We greeted each other, I kept looking back because she looked like she was going to keep talking. Caught her looking at my ass.
- The professor of my first class made a joke along the lines of "happy wife, happy life". My facial muscles didn't even flinch to form a smirk or laugh. I no longer find any beta male jokes like "happy wife happy life", or "the woman is the boss" funny, and quite honestly I look down on men who even joke that way lately.
- The female professor of my second class (the ass watcher) called me out for not doing an assignment in front of the class. The assignment does keep slipping my mind, and I don't even care that she did it because she's obviously telling me she wants my attention, and would like for me to do better. Women seem to hold the men that they like to a higher standard, as if they don't want you to let them down.
(02-06-2018, 11:35 AM)DavisMind91 Wrote: [ -> ]Women seem to hold the men that they like to a higher standard, as if they don't want you to let them down.
I've noticed this as well.
But then the "don't put women on a pedestal" or "alpha males do what they want" comes to mind and I disregard what they say.
(02-06-2018, 12:28 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (02-06-2018, 11:35 AM)DavisMind91 Wrote: [ -> ]Women seem to hold the men that they like to a higher standard, as if they don't want you to let them down.
I've noticed this as well.
But then the "don't put women on a pedestal" or "alpha males do what they want" comes to mind and I disregard what they say.
Exactly, better to make your own plans anyway. Due to my experience I can say that you can change the way someone wants you to and sometimes they either won’t be satisfied or you won’t even want them anymore by the time you got better because all they did was stay stagnant.
Stage 3, Day 26:
After work I picked my daughter up. My wife talked to me and told me she’s tired of our marriage being in limbo. I told her the reason that it is, is because I’m changing and I’m not sure the man I’m becoming wants to be with her long term. We can’t seem to give each other what’s wanted and needed. I’m emotionally unavailable to women at the moment due to being so focused on myself. I asked her once and for all of divorce is really what she wants. She said no but she doesn’t see it going anywhere and neither do I. Either way I’m done with this seesaw of a decision so even if she changes her mind in 2 weeks like she usually does I’ve simply decided based of my current self reflection, and the lack of attention that I’m giving her, that I’m ready to be legally single again. I actually felt relieved after the conversation and I’m looking forward to being divorced due to it being a chapter in my life closing. We still love each other but there’s no point in being together anymore.