Day 68,
Did my work and drove home. Did a workout at the gym; I seem to be weaker, but I've put on some weight; how?
My body language has been terrible and my voice is soft and passive. (lol wonder why?)
Practiced guitar a bunch, with noticeable improvement in my scales and drills. I'll keep this up until my motor skills are not any type of problem with conventional picking. I've not taken the time to get excited about my progress, but I've made plenty.
Day 69,
Wow, I've made a leap in my guitar fretboard visualization skills, which translated to easier playing, and smoother faster scales. This is a decently big deal, and it will affect certain elements of my playing, namely, improvisation. For songs that are already tabbed out, it won't make that big of a difference.
I must have practiced 3-4 hours today; that time FLEW by.
It feels as though all of my 'Alpha Male' training has worn off; I'm not very assertive, and I'm a pretty soft spoken guy, MOST of the time. There are moments when I'm relaxed and funny (and my comedy is getting better), but a large portion of the time, I feel this nervous weight across my chest and shoulders. I've been finding myself with my shoulders hoisted up most of the time.
I find myself thinking about money a lot; it's not necessarily because I'm broke; far from it. Before moving up to this new city, I considered the idea of throwing a huge percentage of my take-home pay into savings. Just over 35%, to be precise. However, since I'm attending this 2-day conference near the end of the month, plus AirBnB, plus gas, plus parking, plus food, etc... my spending is eating into these savings. Since I've already paid for the conference and the hotel, I'm almost in the "red" (meaning eating into that 35%). This is not a terrible problem, but it is a potential one, especially since I could be in some ongoing emergency in the future, without knowing how to come up with the extra money.
But, I am off work 3 days a week, and so, worse comes to worst, I can pick up an extra job. My plan for right now is to walk this path until I can run DMSI, and then, I run BASE repeatedly until I've generated enough income streams for what I want. Then, I won't be worried.
Honestly, it's a lot of stressing over the numbers on my Excel spreadsheet. Also, a lot of my current expenses, including gas, has been tax-deductible, meaning that I don't need to give as much money for taxes, AND, I've entered this higher paying job partway into the year, so I will not have hit the higher income bracket, meaning that I'll have all sorts more money than expected after tax season.
Day 70,
I'm getting some signs that my cheats days aren't what they're cracked up to be. Today especially, it's gotten me feeling nauseous, and I sense that for the month of November that I'll be not taking cheat days while I detox. I'm told that cravings for junk food will diminish a whole bunch.
Have practiced guitar probably 4-5 hours, and the day isn't even halfway done.
I'm getting all these unusual sexual urges; I want to spit in my partner's face, have her call me 'daddy', tie her up and do indecent things towards her. (Choke her, gag her with my cock, and make her squirt, etc.) Of course, this is all rooted in an understanding of consent. Well, for now, I don't have a partner to do it with, but these are new urges that have emerged heh.
(10-20-2017, 06:29 PM)Ampersnd Wrote: [ -> ]I'm getting all these unusual sexual urges; I want to spit in my partner's face, have her call me 'daddy', tie her up and do indecent things towards her. (Choke her, gag her with my cock, and make her squirt, etc.) Of course, this is all rooted in an understanding of consent. Well, for now, I don't have a partner to do it with, but these are new urges that have emerged heh.
It's definitely the healing module. I also experienced this. Sexuality or sexual desire are deeply ingrained into us. If u are experiencing this then it only means that sub has dug really deep into ur subconscious from where are desires originate. .. Or Inshort u can say that MLS-5.5G is starting to make learning look sexy..
Just like when u see a hot girl and approach her (which is sexual energy in motion) in same way when when u see some hot topic ur mind will approch it to learn ss much ss possible..
Sexual Transmutation on subconscious level in short.
Or Maybe It could be some type of escape mechanism from learning from ur subconscious.
U decide.
Political leaning is shifting suddenly, and in a different direction from the last time this has happened.
I've also had struggles over financial beliefs; just by working four days a week, I'm earning more than enough to live a decent life, as well as put considerable amounts into savings, too.
This is because my hourly rate is much higher than average. Sure, I have the schooling for it, and I'm in a field that warrants it. Anyways, the predominating feeling is guilt for getting it so 'easily' (despite the struggles I've endured in pursuit of it).
But, honestly, I think that if I confided that to most of my colleagues, they would tell me to enjoy it and to not feel too bad about it. I am earning that amount every hour I'm at work; in a very regulated profession.
Day 71,
I'm figuring out the specific setup I need to hit my voice passaggio properly and sing through without cracking or breaking. This seems promising, but this also tends to happen later in the evening.
Day 72,
Spent several hour on guitar practice. For this weekend, it's been motor skills. Near the end of the day, I watched Joe Satriani give a guitar lesson to a contest winner, and he stressed your theory and knowing all the scales backwards and forwards. I should apply my new knowledge about the scales to theory, and I should expand my knowledge of unusual scales.
I really wish I had the motivation to practice singing as much as I have for guitar.
Day 73,
Spent my time on a voice lesson; after it ended, I started to get a sense of the resonators and the particular vowel sounds I need to make in order to unlock the resonance therein. I can transition from mid voice to head voice with a lot of volume. But, from chest voice to mid voice is difficult, and does not connect, that could be that I don't exactly know how to shape the vowel to do so. Even my voice teacher notices this, but he's noticed great improvement from previous weeks.
Guitar practice was more experimental than last week; I've been connecting guitar modes and the new fretboard visualization tricks.
I wish I had boundless energy and motivation to tackle subjects and to retain what I learn. I guess this sub is a little more of a long haul than expected. I can't wait to order these detox supplements, and maybe my brain might improve itself once it's freed up by heavy metals and other toxins.
(10-23-2017, 06:52 PM)Ampersnd Wrote: [ -> ]I wish I had boundless energy and motivation to tackle subjects and to retain what I learn. I guess this sub is a little more of a long haul than expected. I can't wait to order these detox supplements, and maybe my brain might improve itself once it's freed up by heavy metals and other toxins.
Hey Ampersnd. I'm thinking about doing the detox as well. Which supplements you think you are gonna go with?
Day 75,
For yesterday and most of today, I was feeling toxic, I smelled terribly whenever I turned the wrong way. When it came to practice on Day 74, my motor skills, related to guitar, were out the window. But, my fingers were basically non-responsive. I was passing bowel movements at least once every two hours during these two days. It didn't impact my thinking in any substantive way.
It seems like this is a new round of detox. My thoughts are that, if MLS is working, then metals have been removed from my brain and put into circulation, then sequestered through blood and bile into my stool via the intestines.
To SargeMaximus; I'll be using all of the numbered supplements from the 'Detox' article from 'The Superman Diet'. This is a few hundred dollars, at least.
Tonight, though, my guitar playing is decent. Let's hope that I'm simply going through a plateau at this time. I'm really just putting in the time without trying to force change to happen.
Singing is still a mess, though. Been practicing that in the car; still getting little traction and the register bump. Will figure this out, since there has been a small improvement.
Day 78,
I'm coming up on 80 days. It hasn't felt like such a long time. But, guitar skill is on the up and up; felt an improvement from Wednesday and yesterday. I think that I'm escaping the plateau, and I'm actually making day-to-day progress. Even though I've been discouraged with my progress in the recent past, it's worth remembering that all you can do is the right thing for as much time as you can. I've been practicing, and whether I improve by 100% or by 0.001% today, I'm doing the single best thing that can improve me.
I'm days away from ordering my detox supplements. The month is almost over, so my budget will be renewed for November.
Yesterday, in the car ride (oh yeah, I'm in the big city for a conference), I was able to figure out that I've been clamping down the back of my tongue to control tone, which falls apart when ascending in pitch. When I consciously worked to let it go, my singing improved, and I got through the passaggio a much larger proportion of the time.
I might have a date set up with the hot girl from my acting class. I find out that she's not old enough to drink, and that she's barely 18. LOL... well, if we did have sex, it'd be legal.
Day 80,
I finally ordered 10/11 detox items. The 11th has to be phone ordered. It was cheaper than expensive, but the phone-ordered item is pretty costly, so it will likely bring it to the estimated amount.
This morning, I woke up at my cousin's house. We (her, her boyfriend, and I) went for sushi and watched the first few Jackass movies the night before. I drove back to my city. I'm weirdly proud of myself about the fact that I didn't want to attend my acting classes (3 to 7pm) as I was arriving to the city. But, I attended and hung in there. These classes made me realize how much I've improved, and the road for improvement has been laid out before me.
Been practicing guitar this evening, but my playing has gotten sloppier and slower. I can't wait to see what my guitar playing will be post-detox. We'll find out.
Here are my expectations from my detox:
- First, better guitar playing; my brain being able to process playing speed;
- Higher sex drive and more interest towards women;
- Better complexion (it's been pallid these past few days);
- More motivation towards my goals, and higher productivity to meet them;
- Less need for sleep, and greater amounts of energy;
- Higher receptivity to subliminals, given that my own biochemistry is not resisting the suggestions;
- Higher levels of joy and satisfaction;
- Higher IQ and cognitive ability; little to no brain fog or writer's block;
- Better beard due to getting more nutrition into my body.
Again, let's find out what happens. This is an intensive intervention, so I trust that it will make a difference.