My 100th post!
Day 27 3.1, Hybrid
My results are, inconsistent. That's the best way to describe things and how I kinda feel regarding DMSI
Like I mentioned in my last post, I bought a journal. This thing is fking awesome. It allows me to stop having everything in my head and get some mental "calmness" and clarity. But the best part is that it allows me to evaluate how I'm doing with my goals and achievements. Most people when they do a new years resolution or something of that kind they only check in on it once a year. That is when they're gonna do the new new-years resolution the next year. And they conclude whether or not they achieved last years goal or not.
But with me writing a journal, I make a daily checkup on how it looks out for my goals. Have I done anything today in order to come closer towards my goal? For me, this has made a big difference. And I've only done it for what, 5 days?
I can definitely, recommend it to anyone else. An important note is to actually write it out physically and not on the computer. This is in my opinion Key.
My internal results - Awesome. It feels like I have a direction of what to do. I am doing Tony Robbins "Time of Your Life" course together with another program, which basically focuses on your life vision.
So, with a vision, I have a direction of where to go, and from ToYL I'll get good planning and organizing of my time to get there. I am not yet sure of the way to reach my goals. But I have a general idea, I don't wanna set everything into stone, you never know when opportunities arise as well.
I believe I've found the perfect volume for me (FINALLY) it was a step down from my latest journal post. Today I've enjoyed euphoria causing me to smile like an idiot. I absolutely love it.
I feel like I make steady progress internally. But the external results are mixed. Like really mixed. 30 minutes and I don't get anything. Like nothing at all. The next 30 minutes girls are hovering around me, throwing their hair at me when I walk past, staring at me and some more crazy things I can't do anything but laugh at. Celebrity effect seems to be more consistent least IRL.
I am playing an online game, and I have happened to have met a part-owner of a HUGE company on this game. Ever since I started DMSI we have slowly been talking more and more and I do feel that I possibly, simply based on this connection could get me a step into this company. If I were to name this company there's a big chance you'll know what I'm talking about. Would also bet that many of you have some of these products at your home.
I really recognize how good contacts are, and it's a thing I wanna constantly improve in my life.
Again, I've noticed my fear of hurting girls. I rather want girls to think that I'm uninterested than having to hurt them later on when they don't meet my standards. While being physically attracted to some girls, in my mind I disqualify them because they aren't "my type of girl".
For that reason, where I disqualify a lot of women. I don't look at girls as intently, nor check them out as obviously I could do in order to really gauge their interest. And this I think has both a negative and positive effect on my interactions with girls. Negative as in I often disqualify girls before really getting to know them, and making me change my mind is not something that's easily done other than by myself. Making it harder to get a real connection with girls. Positive as in it makes me more attractive that I don't see most girls meeting my standards, making them chase me.
There was a girl on 3.01 whom I locked eyes with, just for the sake of looking. She was not good looking nor my type at all. She started getting red and shyly looked at me again while talking to her friends, whom then looked at me and the rest of the time I sit on this bus. This girl is actively trying to catch my eyes. Had to avoid even looking at her direction for the rest of the bus trip. This simple eye-contact of 5 seconds made her interested to the point where I later on also could "let her down" and hurt her. Not much, but then again I only looked at her for 5 seconds but that was "strong" enough to leave a negative thing on her day I could definitely see she felt a bit "down" when she went off the bus and I hadn't given her any more attention. At least that's how I interpret it. I can't say I feel bad for this specific instance, because well she can't expect something from 5 seconds of eye contact. But if something this simple can affect a girls day to a negative direction, what happens with a girl I interact with more and she opens herself up to me completely but I have to turn her down because she's not of my type? This has always been a problem for me, and I'm not sure what to do with it. I can't say it's a completely negative thing because it makes me feel more human and this is one of the few instances that I do know how I really feel emotionally. But it's limiting at the same time. Not sure if this is something that may need healing/clearing. It is limiting me the amount of women I sleep with. But I'd rather have a few amount of girls I genuinely like, than sleeping with the triple amount of girls.
I believe it was 2 days ago I did 4 loops of DMSI. Can't say I felt anything other than sensations in my body, where it felt like I was getting more and more relaxed, also had a tingling feeling in my d*ck. Really strange feeling, uncomfortable.
May have been self-sabotage or not. But I don't think that I'm resisting that hard. The "hardest" that I can say I've resisted is headaches and where the exhaustion towards resistance comes in. And I suppose this possible result of self-sabotage.
I feel DMSI is making me sexier and I certainly feel sexier, but I can't really say I've noticed any sort of reality bending so far.
I will run DMSI A for 45 Days, where I, the "last" 15 days will simultaneously try to use a brainwave entrainment program. Depending on how that goes, I'll jump onto B with or without the brainwave entrainment.
