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I feel so ***** lonely. I don't have a circle of friends that I can relax and have fun with weekly.
(04-30-2017 03:22 PM)ffaux Wrote: [ -> ]I feel so ***** lonely. I don't have a circle of friends that I can relax and have fun with weekly.

I wanted to reply since your previous post, but somehow I felt something that made me to refrain from doing so.
As I've had experienced a depression period myself, I would say that you're not alone, pal.
I believe it's not that you don't have any friend or anyone to go out with or to talk to that makes you feel lonely even if it feels so.
It's an old game of the mind to hold you in the downward spiral.

You might want to consider something that might be not your thing, like joining a club, attending a seminar, or randomly meet anyone new.
Doing something new or old one that you've abandoned for quite a while would be some alternative too.
The odds are there to find some real people to be around with.
I understand that it feels hard to do something out of what you've been doing since those negative feelings started to creep in. But in my opinion, it's just a shell created by your mind to keep you where you are.
Thank you for your kind words D.Ace. You're right of course; I thought about taking up a sport or something too. And you're right, I have a lot of people I call my friends that I just need to reach out to. I just wish I had a group of like-minded friends I could hang out with on a regular basis so I felt like I had a strong support network. But this issue is complicated, AM6 is bringing up a lot of different things for me, I think feeling lonely is a deep seated childhood issue.

ION, I feel positive, almost grateful towards my ex. It's blowing my mind!
(05-01-2017 03:31 AM)ffaux Wrote: [ -> ]Thank you for your kind words D.Ace. You're right of course; I thought about taking up a sport or something too. And you're right, I have a lot of people I call my friends that I just need to reach out to.

It's good that you're aware of it and have in mind for the things to do. I hope the clouds in your head won't stop you to.

Quote:I just wish I had a group of like-minded friends I could hang out with on a regular basis so I felt like I had a strong support network.

Me too, having a group of like-minded is such a treasure.

Quote:But this issue is complicated, AM6 is bringing up a lot of different things for me, I think feeling lonely is a deep seated childhood issue.

The negativity you encounter might be indeed necessary for it's in the program to purge out whatever it is regarding the past life issue.
I wish you strength to keep going.

Quote:ION, I feel positive, almost grateful towards my ex. It's blowing my mind!

Now that sounds a little strange to me lol.
It is now abundantly clear to me that the source of all of my resistance is denial. I have constructed a lot of beliefs to help protect my fragile ego. If my beliefs were to change I would need to face a lot of negative emotions as I face the truth. I fight this tooth and nail because it ***** hurts to face the truth.

To illustrate with an example, I protect myself from rejection through denial. When women are not interested in me I construct ambiguity where there is none through the belief that women sometimes play hard to get when they're actually interested. Complete self-delusion to protect myself from the reality that that woman finds me undesirable because the truth that women find me undesirable is too hard for my ego to bear.

I don't envy Shannon in helping us move past our ego-protection denial.
I was extremely frustrated last night to learn that a lot of the hurt people have caused me is the result of dissonance between my self-image and how other people perceive me. I don't feel strong but other people treat me as if I'm strong which means they often go too far in trying to get through to me emotionally and end up hurting me instead. Why is it that listening to subliminal audio changes other peoples perception of me as self-confident but doesn't actually make me feel self-confident? What use is that?
I have also felt a great loss of feelings for girls. To the point of sexual frigidity. On the homosexuality I think that the dreams are you processing a fear at the thought of being one, this is my theory. The AM6 sub doesn't have anything about homosexuality itself in the script.

I do sometimes feel a decrease of sexual feelings for girls. I don't like it. It feels dead
(05-12-2017 08:01 PM)Darkness Wrote: [ -> ]I have also felt a great loss of feelings for girls. To the point of sexual frigidity. On the homosexuality I think that the dreams are you processing a fear at the thought of being one, this is my theory. The AM6 sub doesn't have anything about homosexuality itself in the script.

I do sometimes feel a decrease of sexual feelings for girls. I don't like it. It feels dead

I feel it most of the time, but unlike you, I love it. I'm on my second run of AM6 now. LTU, E1 and E2 also had this effect to an extent and it's been cumulative. I think it's incredibly empowering to not feel the slightest bit needy about women. Very uplifting actually, for me anyway. This attitude is also getting me more attention and respect from women who are mostly extremely sensitive, and very averse, to neediness.
My life has picked up so much momentum. I've got clear goals for the coming year and I'm working my ass off towards them. This is stage 5. I've felt this before.

Still feel bummed about girls but the emotional valence has significantly decreased now that I'm working towards my goals. It's time to launch. Girls will have to wait.
It's surprising me how strong my victim mentality is. Thankfully I'm starting to see through it with AM6 but I can safely attribute all of my hurt from my most recent breakup to this victim mentality. When I reflect on the life I've lead I see just how disabling it has been to see myself as a victim and give myself self-pity. I'm not saying I was responsible in these situations but focusing on myself as the role of the victim has led me to spend more time than I ever should reflecting on the past and how unhappy it has made me.
Stage 6

Woke up today to lots of shifts and releases particularly around women and what I want from them. I realised that I don't really care much about sex, never really have, I just want to give women my love. Being in love is such an amazing feeling and I just want to feel that with someone I can trust not to hurt me. But I think this is too much to ask from someone. Particularly in my case because of the intensity with which I feel and give love. I don't have a lot of restraint when it comes to my emotions so it might become overwhelming for someone on the receiving end. I need to find ways to love everyone instead of just one so that the intensity is diffused. How to do this however, I'm not so sure.
(05-23-2017 06:24 PM)ffaux Wrote: [ -> ]Stage 6

I need to find ways to love everyone instead of just one so that the intensity is diffused. How to do this however, I'm not so sure.

When I read the quote I immediately thought of this:
"I need to find ways to love MYSELF instead of trying to project love (I dont feel for myself) onto someone else"
(it is kind of a reversal Byron Katie might do with her work).

Two weeks ago you postet about your fragile ego. I am not sure if a fragile ego always goes hand in hand with lack of self-love (guess so) and in that case you might want to work on that first. I think as soon as you love yourself deeply you are able to show others real love that is not overwhelming nor inappropriate.

I also poured a lot of love over my ex and expected her to love me back evenly. Sometimes she did and the world felt complete but when she didnt I felt like crap. Not a good position to be in. Its the behaviour of a clingy beta.

Quote:Being in love is such an amazing feeling and I just want to feel that with someone I can trust not to hurt me.

Wouldnt it be great if you constantly felt self-love? Because the only person who you can completly trust and that will never hurt you may in fact be yourself.

Or at least that is one of the goals of AM6, right?

Quote:But I think this is too much to ask from someone.

I think you attract people that match your own vibrancy. As soon as you are able to pour the deep love you want to give a woman first over yourself then you might attract women who love you just as much. And then you can love them from a position of already feeling great instead of needing them as a source of happiness.

Self love is a bullet point on the AM6 salespage. So you are already on your way.
I've been waking up every day angry and hurt over my ex for almost 9 months now. Can't I be over this already?
(05-29-2017 02:58 PM)ffaux Wrote: [ -> ]Based on my experience with AM6 I recommend taking a break and then using stage 7 or going straight into stage 7. You've made good progress. AM is like building momentum in a specific direction. Shannon talks about having the internal and external reinforce each other and I think until that has happened the journey of growth is not complete. I'm planning to run stage 7 for 5 or 6 months when I'm done for this exact reason.

My experience is that each stage of AM expands me in a certain direction. Each stage is completely imbalanced because Shannon needs to implement a portion of the programme at a time so it's not overwhelming. The idea is that at the end we've expanded in every direction in various combinations such that we come out well balanced again.

To me this is just the start. There is growth there for sure in being expanded and accepting the suggestions but this is not the point; the point is change. My life is carrying momentum in a certain direction set by the subconscious beliefs that I hold. Those subconscious beliefs have a lot of inertia and are reinforced by the aspects of my life that haven't yet changed. Now that I have completed AM6 for the fourth time I see that I have some expansion left to do from stage 5 and possibly from stage 6 (we'll see) but that I've largely accepted most of AM6. Its time to see this journey through by having stage 7 reinforce the AM6 beliefs until they're reinforced by life itself.
I'm disconnecting from negativity within and from negative people.
I'm waking up with anxiety again. This was the reason I ran Stress Relief after AM6 round 2. I managed to stay in bed this morning until it released and I hope it will not escalate past stage 6. I think there's definitely something in my mind that clashes with the incoming programming and causing stress. I hope it will resolve itself this round.
More disconnecting from victim mentality. Didn't wake up with anxiety but needed to sleep like 10 hours. Stage 5 and 6 definitely leading to a lot of change. Contemplating running all of AM6 again instead of stage 7.
What round is it of AM6?
(06-02-2017 08:51 PM)Darkness Wrote: [ -> ]What round is it of AM6?

This is round 4 for me.
I can't escape these deep fears of loneliness. But today I came to aknowledge the feeling instead of trying to escape from it. When I reflect on my childhood I see that I've always felt afraid of being alone. I could never play alone and always desperately wanted to be part of a group—themes that continue to this day in adult form.

I don't think medicating with friends and women is the answer. I need to come to terms with these feelings of loneliness and stop being afraid. I need to love myself and let my love shine through. I don't know how that makes sense but it does.
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