Subliminal Talk

Stage 2, Day 22,

Tied for 2nd longest ever noFap streak. The pent-up feeling is almost too much to take, but I don't want to end my run. All I can think about are the pleasant white ropes that will fly out of me if I give in. EDIT: 2.5 hours of Jiu Jitsu tired me out; too tired to think about sex or blowing it. Looks like I'm entering 2nd longest streak after all.

EDIT: After today's turn of events (look at the date); I've decided to "pop the champagne", so to speak.

I find it hard to communicate more clearly; it's all jumbled and tangled strands of thought. Hopefully, this is just resistance to my otherwise lucid ways of thinking. I've become concerned about my cognitive health, and have become weary about losing my mind (literally, as in Alzheimer's or Parkinson). In that case, I would like to get my book as soon as possible.

Stage 2, Day 23,

Yesterday's event sure was interesting. I found it funny that other people were incredibly upset about the results. #nonbiasednews

Stage 2, Day 25

Reading a book on Logic and Rhetoric; it sucks. I could write a better book with half my brainpower. And, as a matter of fact, I've been writing it; I'm about 5000 words in.

However, I'm starting to feel under the weather, and I'll need to get enough sleep tonight.

Stage 26,

Feeling under the weather; just starting a mild cold.

I broke my noFap streak two days ago, because I really wanted to; I even did again yesterday. I want to break it again night. I have no idea why I'm so into it now, but not for the 3 weeks in which I was successful.

EDIT: You can tell that I was out of it when I wrote 'Stage 26'. The mental fog is the worst feeling for me, given that I value my intellect.

Stage 2, Day 28,

I'm at 9000 words for my book. I hope to write 75,000 words by the end of the month. It's as though my brain is uncorked and it's all spilling out.

My approach is to write as much as I can, without any concern regarding the grammar, syntax, and exact facts. I'll hire researchers who will fact-check my work; Fiverr has some pretty good services.

EDIT: I've reached 10K words. It's nice to see the extra digit at the bottom of my word processor. I look forward to the 6 figure mark!

Stage 2, Day 30,

Currently at 13,500 words for my book. 60K is very much possible for this 30 day period. At this very moment, it's difficult to push out any more than a few words at a time. But so long as I commit to the 1-2 hours per day, I'll finish the book eventually.

In a contradictory way, my motivation levels have increased marginally; things I want to achieve seem more possible. One thing that I've learned is that no matter what service or product you have, there always seems to be SOME degree of interest for it.

By the way, these past 48 hours have been incredibly difficult towards my communication skills; it's hard to speak fluently and conversationally, especially in my foreign languages. It feels like where I was pre-Stop Stuttering. I can't imagine that the programming has worn off while listening to a sub that is currently on a module that improves communication, negotiation, etc.

EDIT: By the way, I've spent about 6 weeks with Volume 1 of Ken Tamplin's program. And it's all starting to click, which is great!

Stage 2, Day 31,

My mind clicked; my job is essentially event planning, which is a weak area in my personal life. This skill will carry over when I will break out into my own business.

I've hit 15K words today.

1. Ultra Motivation: 5/10; substantial increase. It's a quiet hum in the background

2. Maximum Productivity: 7/10, getting everything I need done at work. Still need to optimize

3. Ultra Success: 6/10, my boss thinks I'm great, I'm crushing it at German, Jiu Jitsu, guitar, singing, writing, but still need improvement

5. Overcoming Guilt, Shame & Fear: 5/10 Much less of these. Feel like I could move out soon

6. Positive Thinking, Positive Attitude: Haven't had a negative thought in a long while

7. Maximum Sales Success:6/10; having new discoveries on persuasion

8. Optimus Engine 2.1: My problem solving skills have improved, if that relates to this

9. Improved Communication: 6/10 to 8/10; I've had some issues this past week; I was sick, and then the following week, I had brain fog

10. Action Orientation: 4/10; I make the phonecall when I need to; I used to push it back

11. Goal Orientation: 3/10; I have very general goals (like my book outline leading into a completed book), but I need to be more deliberate

12. Pragmatic & Practical: 6/10

13. Laser-Like Focus & Concentration: 6/10; with a new laptop, I have fewer distractions from the pop-ups and slow performance.

14. Fearlessly Transition To An Entrepreneurial Mindset: 4/10; wanting to do my own thing, confident that I could pull it off, but willing to sit back and let things figure themselves out a bit before making a move

15. Assertiveness Training: 8/10; easy to be assertive when you one's bs gets under your skin

18. Courageous: 5/10; It doesn't feel like courage; I think about doing a thing, I can do it with more psychological ease

19. Win-Win Mindset: 9/10, About the same, but realized that people are willing to do a lot for a person that wants to help them

21. Charismatic Presence: Unsure about improvement

22. Successful Negotiator: 5/10; I've had a few people come in for a quote. I dunno, it feels like a conversation, but I didn't talk people down on the price. Won a couple of internet debates

24. Better With Maths & Numbers: 8/10, working with Excel and learning new things

25. Balance Your Brain Hemispheres: 6/10; More realizations on 'emotional logic'; seeing things in a more synthetic way

26. Become A Money Magnet: 5/10, Making 41K a year from my new job. Low expenses.

27. Deservedness For Success As An Entrepreneur: 5/10; I'm beginning to see my value as a singer, writer

28. Polymorphic Aura: 7/10; sometimes, I act weaker and I don't know why. Then I realize that it's the best demeanor for the person in front of me.

29. Disconnect From Negativity Within: 9/10; virtually no negativity

30. Disconnect From Other People’s Negativity: 8/10; other people's anger still touches me a bit, but I can easily shake it off.

31. Ego Balancing: 8/10; much more stable

32. Maximum Sleep Quality: 9/10; Oh my gosh; huge improvement. Especially because I'm more consistent in my schedule, and I have new bed sheets

33. End Clutter & Get Organized: 6/10 on my new laptop to increase speed, and at my office so I can operate two laptops

34. Extreme Self Esteem: 8/10; I have 'Moderate Self Esteem'

35. Forgive Others & Let It Go: 10/10; I hold no grudges

36. Forgive Yourself & Move On: 9/10; I hold almost no grudges

37. Get Out Of Debt: 10/10 0.40$ left on my student loans. No outstanding debts

38. Psychic Ability To Get Ahead As A Successful Entrepreneur: No clue

40. Negative Stress Relief: 9/10 hardly any stress, except for some crunch time yesterday:

41. Seize The Day: 6/10; I'm more energized about getting more things done in a day

42. Stop Using Recreational Drugs & Alcohol: 9/10; drinking a beer right now. Besides that, I'll have 3-4 in a week

43. Prioritize Effectively: 8/10; Doing better. I'm actually writing a chapter in my book on priorities; more specifically the unconscious kinds

44. Seek The Challenge: 5/10; Committed to performing for a group. Not doing any competitions, but I'll do some for singing, but not for Jiu Jitsu

45. Powerful Personal Presence & Strength: 4/10; I think that there's an improvement

46. Emotional Healing & Pain Relief:
(a) Overcome The Victim Mentality:9/10
(b) Healing Emotionally: 8/10; fewer emotional bubbles
© Increasing Mental/Emotional Maturity: 9/10 huge breakthroughs
(d) Forgive Self & Others: 9/10 Great
(e) Let Go Of The Past: 9/10 Great
(f) Self Validation: 9/10 I think I'm great

47. Accept & Take Personal Responsibility For Your Choices, Actions, Results & Life: 9/10; actually thinking about doing all the things that would make me independent (get a car, rent an apartment, get new clothes, get insurance)

48. Dream Your Best Solution: 0/10 nothing

49. Maximum Learning Speed: 7/10 it declined during this month

50. Kill Excuses: 9/10 If I don't do a thing, it's because I don't want to. I started writing a book pretty much the moment I got my new laptop, just as I said I would. I get up at 5:25am to go to Jiu Jitsu some nights of the week. I don't bail out of commitments.

51. Persistence & Perseverance: 6/10; working at this book rather doggedly; attending my classes with no expectation of a result, but committed to the process

52. Wealth Ceiling Destruction: 4/10 Some tweaks to the possibilities, but nothing that will make me act

53. Self Discipline: 6/10 Big improvement

54. Refusal To Accept Anything But Success:5/10 It's inevitable, but I need to collect this feeling

55. Tempered Gratitude (Non-Motivation Destroying): 7/10

56. Find The Niche & Develop It (Know What People Need & Turn It Into Success): 3/10 meh

57. Paced Working & Entrepreneurial Efforts To Steady The Approach/Drive/Motivation & Prevent Burnout: No comment

58. Disconnect From Distractions: 6/10 Better, but I'm still a bit scattershot. I will, however, turn off a video in the background if it slows me down.

59. Believe In Yourself & Your Choices, Goals & Methods, Regardless Of What Others Say, As Long As You Have Verified The Validity For Yourself: 4/10 Better

60. Mindfulness Of How You Are Spending Your Time: 8/10 The day flies by at work; I set my internet radio to different channels during different times of the day. Much less of my time is spent towards bs reasons, until it's to motivate me to do what I must

61. Value Your Time Highly Enough To Refuse To Waste It: 7/10

62. Frame Your Path & Walking Your Path To Success As An Entrepreneur As Being Fun & Enjoyable: 7/10; it's generally pleasant stuff

63. Networking Skills: 2/10 reaching out socially a lot more. Able to jump into a convo much more easily (which was my sticking point)

64. Natural Socialization: 4/10

69. Always Let Your Market Be Your Guide: Listen To Them & What They Want/Need, & Fulfill Their Wants/Needs: 4/10 I guess I have my ear to the ground a little more when it comes to my job. There's an element that requires this

70. Always Seek & Find The Positive Opportunity That Every Challenge Brings With It & Put It To Its Best Possible Use: No examples

71. Select One Overarching Primary Goal/Purpose: 8/10; the book

72. Maintain Consistency In Everything You Do Towards Your Goal: 9/10; my days are beginning to look alike

73. Have The Courage To Ask For/Expect/Demand Fair Compensation For The Value You Bring To Market: No examples

74. Learn How To Reasonably & Objectively Determine Fair Value For Your Product/Service Value: 8/10 I'm better at this

75. Create An Inspiring Vision That Others Want To Join & Support: no examples

76. Always Improving Yourself As An Entrepreneur In All The Roles That Requires One To Take: sure?

77. Normalization Of/Comfort With/Acceptance Of The Changes To Oneself & One’s Situation & Finances That Is Required To Achieve High Success: Yes. 7/10

78. Effective & Successful Competition Where Necessary: 5/10 Jiu Jitsu, and some small elements at my job

79. Only Compete Where Necessary & Use The Competition Or Lack Thereof To Your Advantage: 5/10

80. Protect Your Assets: 4/10

81. Prevent Others From Taking Advantage Of You, Scamming You, Etc.: 7/10

82. Value The Customer Over The Money They Provide, & Seek A Stable, Long Term Approach To Business & Business Success: 8/10 I like customers; I've had a couple who've rented a room for a night. They sold themselves, however.

83. Become The Best Of The Best In Your Field: 4-8/10 Becoming a better singer; Ken Tamplin has been helping my out.

84. Spend Wisely & Always With An Eye To How It Will Enhance Your Success & Position In Your Field: Oh yeah; 8/10 I almost spent 5$ today on Gatorade; some mistake that was (my mind stopped me). I did spend 5000$ in one day, however, but 70% was to pay off debt.

85. Express Success In All Ways, Even Before You Have Achieved It: 5/10; I'm very sure about my success. Life is just fun when you feel that

86. Be Open To The Possibility Of Being Wrong, Recognize It & Make It Right ASAP When You Are: 10/10;

Stage 3, Day 1

I've felt an itch for my life that I don't know how to scratch. I've had a pretty good day at work. Good BJJ lesson. Good writing session.

4. Luck Magnifier: 5/10; my income jumped up 2.25% today. I'll be making an extra 900$ this year from my job. That's lucky.

16. Strong, Clear Voice: 4/10 This surprised me when I opened my mouth today. My voice came out louder. But I'm typically much more quiet.

17. Public Speaking Skills: 8/10 I already have good skills, but I'm unsure how much I can improve

20. Authoritative Presence: 3/10; I'm a big guy, but I'm very reserved, so I have a lot of room to improve

23. Effective Delegator: Unsure what to make of it

39. Think Like A Millionaire: 3/10; I have some forethought about how to handle money, but I need some more time/books to become good at this.

67. Detect Deceptions & Discern & Understand The Reason For The Deception: 7/10; I think that I'm okay at this, but I can improve

68. Maximize The Value Brought To The Market/Customer: 5/10; I'll have opportunities to work for this during the next 30 days. Not completely sure about the exact score.

Stage 3, Day 2,

A good day off. I haven't written anything yet, but I've blown through a book; I've read a book on logic and rhetoric, and it was not very well written. It was full of platitudes, common-sense ideas, and lengthy examples.

I might try to get a thousand words done within the next hour.

Stage 3, Day 3,

I've technically not drafted this weekend; I've been outlining for the past two days. Today, I read 'How to Lie With Statistics' twice from cover to cover, taking notes that I can use in my own book. Next, I'll be reading 'Crystallizing Public Opinion' by Edward Bernays, which I might be able to read while waiting for a meeting tomorrow.

Stage 3, Day 4,

I've noticed that I lingered on guitar and singing practice today. I had the chance to do 2+ hours of singing practice due to a longer commute. Later today, my voice was connecting my chest and head voice nicely.

I was experimenting with guitar today. It's great.

I've gotten to 20K words in my book. I'm excited to get it done, but it won't be done for a few more months.

I need to work on relaxing.

Stage 3, Day 5,

My singing practice seems like I'm starting over each day; it's like Sisyphus and his dang rock. I'm working hard to get the technique down; I get it in some sense later into the day. The next morning, it's gone. However, I need to over-write 10 years of bad singing technique, much like melting a piece of glass into the shape I want.

I've now written 22.5K words so far for my book. I've listening to an audiobook on Negotiating that I think will strongly affect my book.

What's unfortunate is that I don't feel a raging fire to grind for a better life; I'm just doing the daily routines, yet doing alright while doing this.

Edit: I've noticed that my manager is a social chameleon; we had a meeting with a chef. She interjected her political opinions to him, in the form of a question: "What do you think of X, eh?". He gave the opposite political opinion that she didn't expect. And yet, she reflected his views back at him. This happened a couple more times; she was making up stories about policy decisions she made that were completely opposite of how I've known her. It was very interesting.

Quote:Edit: I've noticed that my manager is a social chameleon; we had a meeting with a chef. She interjected her political opinions to him, in the form of a question: "What do you think of X, eh?". He gave the opposite political opinion that she didn't expect. And yet, she reflected his views back at him. This happened a couple more times; she was making up stories about policy decisions she made that were completely opposite of how I've known her. It was very interesting.

Social Chameleon makes it sound cool, but I don't like that kind of thing at all. Though we can't get into politics it stretches to anything I assume.

So basically she got to be manager by being completely fake and making shit up. If that's your manager then she's not someone you can trust, and not someone i'd want to be around.

Social Fake sounds much better.