10-02-2016, 10:49 AM
10-04-2016, 11:03 AM
day 24
bossing up.
view of closer ones has very much shifted in understanding, feel and look pretty solid.
Boundaries are a choice. I can choose for brushing it off orm putting my foot down. there is power here but bs behaviour is something irking, even if it comes from close ones. feel like not tolerating it. Both are liberating in a way.
bossing up.
view of closer ones has very much shifted in understanding, feel and look pretty solid.
Boundaries are a choice. I can choose for brushing it off orm putting my foot down. there is power here but bs behaviour is something irking, even if it comes from close ones. feel like not tolerating it. Both are liberating in a way.
10-05-2016, 10:50 AM
Thrilled for AM7 already. Having some thoughts revolving it and so much more clear headed in decision. A version with more sexual overtones and one being more focussed purely on self ala james bond. Choices are pronounced aswell as my vibe in a sense. Very grounded self centred and a feeling of being wanted sexually which would explain the last few days encounters.
strong dominant traits, realizing the BDSM and the role of being the dom is very appealing. Makes me centred on my path as I realize this and seeing potential in this. It also ties in with my gym part of my life. Seeing as of now more making sense and connecting, life starting to build up further, realizations. Now, using this stream of attention can help me even carve out further.]
the james bond solid self image is strong and I gravitate towards that, yet this switches towards sexual primal tendencies and personality, only to not have this sexual stuff being dtable continuous congrugent. It comes and goes, like a clicking back in the other frame. State shifting? Idk
strong dominant traits, realizing the BDSM and the role of being the dom is very appealing. Makes me centred on my path as I realize this and seeing potential in this. It also ties in with my gym part of my life. Seeing as of now more making sense and connecting, life starting to build up further, realizations. Now, using this stream of attention can help me even carve out further.]
the james bond solid self image is strong and I gravitate towards that, yet this switches towards sexual primal tendencies and personality, only to not have this sexual stuff being dtable continuous congrugent. It comes and goes, like a clicking back in the other frame. State shifting? Idk
10-05-2016, 08:07 PM
(10-05-2016, 10:50 AM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ]Thrilled for AM7 already.
Really, is it actually happening?
I'm dead set on running an attraction sub after AM6 too, the only thing that could swing me other way is AM7.
10-06-2016, 06:19 AM
the talk on the forums are promising, if I recall there is a suggestion topic somewhere. Just the thought that it will be 6G is a nice thought.
10-06-2016, 11:50 PM
day 27
current social circle is not enough anymore. to have a small social circle doesnt satisfy anymore.
edit1: interesting to notice how these 2 women acted at the gym behind the desk. one was fully qualifying herself, laughing and what not, not my type, the other 7/10 bodywise was all about the hairplay and eye contact and seemed tio have some hardwire bein triggered due to social pre-selection. funny how that works. made it a game to let them recall which shake I wanted which they fully engaged in it.
edit2: another inner shift has taken place about the same thing I constantly faced before and that was hb8/9/10 and they are very similar in it, like the issues triggered in me is the same bs anyways. maybe watching RSDmax has caused some clearance within.
current social circle is not enough anymore. to have a small social circle doesnt satisfy anymore.
edit1: interesting to notice how these 2 women acted at the gym behind the desk. one was fully qualifying herself, laughing and what not, not my type, the other 7/10 bodywise was all about the hairplay and eye contact and seemed tio have some hardwire bein triggered due to social pre-selection. funny how that works. made it a game to let them recall which shake I wanted which they fully engaged in it.
edit2: another inner shift has taken place about the same thing I constantly faced before and that was hb8/9/10 and they are very similar in it, like the issues triggered in me is the same bs anyways. maybe watching RSDmax has caused some clearance within.
10-07-2016, 06:12 AM
(10-06-2016, 11:50 PM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ]current social circle is not enough anymore. to have a small social circle doesnt satisfy anymore.
What is your attitude towards your old circle of friends, are they attracted to you more or is your growth polarizing them?
10-07-2016, 06:25 AM
Outgrowing and limited sense of activities that we indulge in, the same stuff every time. so I outgrow them. attracting towards me and validation seeking aswell as subtle amogging. tbh, its to do with self value and realizing potential. its small keeping.
10-10-2016, 01:19 AM
day 30
2 days till stage 2 and life is good even tho I'm hit with the flu. went to the store and notice how socially fluid im becoming and am. Natural flow with it with hints of playfullness for the heck of it. It just comes out. Noticed some behaviour in traffic with some guys overtly blatantly signing through gestures and stuff. Whatever that means I dont know, felt like I had a celebrity vibe but I remained unfazed intensly.
2 days till stage 2 and life is good even tho I'm hit with the flu. went to the store and notice how socially fluid im becoming and am. Natural flow with it with hints of playfullness for the heck of it. It just comes out. Noticed some behaviour in traffic with some guys overtly blatantly signing through gestures and stuff. Whatever that means I dont know, felt like I had a celebrity vibe but I remained unfazed intensly.
10-11-2016, 07:44 AM
day 31
reactionairy due to surfacing memories. Its as if all wrong doing cause a slight revenge/anger response from me while I thought I already had closed this stuff. Memories of people disagreeing with me, putting shit down and knowing it better and what not. It irks me the wrong way. One of the memories is of some woman that putted dreams down and my vision down, done with the "but"shit. it keeps you in stasis due to a dual attention, and thus freezes you in the middle.
she: yeah its good to have dreams, but lets be realistic
me: shut the fuck up attitude.
stirring the pot.
reactionairy due to surfacing memories. Its as if all wrong doing cause a slight revenge/anger response from me while I thought I already had closed this stuff. Memories of people disagreeing with me, putting shit down and knowing it better and what not. It irks me the wrong way. One of the memories is of some woman that putted dreams down and my vision down, done with the "but"shit. it keeps you in stasis due to a dual attention, and thus freezes you in the middle.
she: yeah its good to have dreams, but lets be realistic
me: shut the fuck up attitude.
stirring the pot.
10-11-2016, 12:58 PM
Hey Kol just wanted to say I salute you for going on a second run through takes balls to handle a tough journey which I so very well understand
10-11-2016, 04:31 PM
So do you still hang out with your friends? Or are u slowly distancing yourself?
I have been noticing my friends are becoming more alpha too it seems.. Hopefully they grow with me. That would be pretty cool. Otherwise, what the fuck is the value in friendship and close bonds...
I have been noticing my friends are becoming more alpha too it seems.. Hopefully they grow with me. That would be pretty cool. Otherwise, what the fuck is the value in friendship and close bonds...
10-11-2016, 05:34 PM
Yea ye I think of u two guys here as people I relate to and my friends here. For that exact reason. It seems some of the friends I met these past few months got bitter as I got better
10-12-2016, 12:09 AM
(10-11-2016, 05:34 PM)Big Boss Wrote: [ -> ]Yea ye I think of u two guys here as people I relate to and my friends here. For that exact reason. It seems some of the friends I met these past few months got bitter as I got better
It doesn't always shrink. Somebody I thought was an arrogant pr*ck before turned out to be a nice guy and a valuable source of realness. And I like hanging with his circle of friends, although they're not compatible with some of my old circle.